chapter 1

James's POV

It was pretty simple. I was in love with her and she wasn't in love with me. That classic gut-wrenching, man-destroying, soul-sucking, logic-eating scenario.

It really wasn't supposed to happen. She was my best friend's little sister, the classic trap. Again, simple...but in reality, everything was very complicated.

I wasn't in love with her always. In fact, I don't think I ever saw anything in her that made me develop arrhythmia. Now, every time I saw her, I had heart palpitations, a flushed face, no brain, and a twisted tongue.

"What do you think, James? Should I get lemon or strawberry? What are you getting?" She turned to me and her pure eyes found mine, rendering me mute once more. Fuck my life, honestly.

"Um, I'll get Oreo." I responded with the first flavour I saw since the entire time we were supposed to be picking gelato flavours, I was standing there like a stupid idiot and stealing glances at her in between floating in fantasy.

"Oreo? Really? Maybe just get a box of cookies." She teased me gently, not putting anything behind it. "Why don't you get something you usually can't have?" She posed the question and I knew exactly what that was. Her. I couldn't have her. Not only because she didn't reciprocate my feelings, but also because it would be weird as fuck, right? It didn't feel weird, but seemed it. I'd known her since forever. We grew up all together, she was my best friend's little sister, almost as if she was my sister. Simple, right? But extremely complicated.

It all got so complicated only a week ago, right outside this specific gelato shop, actually. In fact, eight days ago, I was still free to live my life, not in constant agony over Camille. The last seven days have been absolute hell. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't concentrate on anything. All I'm doing is replaying every moment that I spent with her throughout my life and that specific second when it all changed for me. I've been over to her house every day this week and I'm pretty sure her father has caught on, but her mom thinks I'm gay since I've been technically over to hang out with Kevin, her brother.

"You're telling me you can't get lemons or strawberries everyday?" I responded to her and hoped she wouldn't notice that I've literally been staring at her perfect face for the last however many minutes. She giggled and I swear I floated when I heard that.

"I can. But lemon gelato tastes nothing like lemons. And strawberry gelato tastes like...."

You. It tastes like you, I'm sure of it. Sweet. Familiar. Delicious. Perfect.

"Tastes like shit, let's go Cam, fuck, you take forever." God damn Kevin rolled his eyes and huffed. Kevin still treated her like he did when he was twelve and she was eight.

"You're insufferable Kev, just stop talking." She lifted up her delicate little hand and didn't even look at him, but her facial expression visibly dropped and she sighed, taking a step toward the cash. "I'll get lemon and strawberry, please." Her sweet voice informed the teenager behind the counter.

"I'll try strawberry too." At my words, Camille whirled around to land her wholesome blue eyes at me, melting in a genuine smile. Literal butterflies accosted the inside of my chest. Bruh. How does a little woman do that to a big man?

"You will?" She asked incredulously. "I thought you wanted Oreo!" My God, the happiness and surprise in her voice completely bolted me to the floor.

"I- ugh...I'm trying something new." I gave her my best smile which I'm sure made me look like some sort of sexual predator but motherfucking Kevin, again, interrupted. Maybe I should arrest him while he's home.

"Fuck, you're both such losers, let's go." He grunted. Damn, what the fuck was wrong with him?

Five minutes later, I was driving us all back to their house and meticulously watched Camille lick that lemon and strawberry gelato while she sat in the backseat and looked out the window. Kevin droned on about law school and how amazing and 'hype' it was, but I had completely tuned him out.

I was both incredibly thankful and absolutely devastated that he was here for only two weeks. He was on his way to some internship in the big city, but Camille would stay the entire summer. What the fuck was going to be my excuse to see her after he left?

Camille was a few months away from turning twenty and I celebrated my twenty fourth birthday in May. No birthdays coming up. None of our mutual friends were here or had birthdays in the summer and no parents either, except her father, but it wasn't really a birthday we all celebrated together. I spent a good amount of time thinking it over; birthday excuses were out. That's it really, there was no other reason for me to be at her house or for her to come to mine.

I guess I could technically accidentally show up to where she was, but how creepy is that? Her summer job and my full time job never crossed paths.

"So, James, what's it like being a cop?" Camille's voice sounded from the backseat and I was ready to slam on the brakes and get in the backseat with her.

"It's fine." Wow, look at me go, such an engaging communicator. "What's it like being a university student?" I desperately wanted to continue the conversation, but her presence had killed the last of my brain cells.

"It's fine." She imitated me and giggled. Ugh. I was out of sorts, devastatingly hung up on her and unable to live my life freely. "Do you think I would make a good cop?" She suddenly asked and just the thought of her in uniform was threatening to send me into cardiac arrest. God, Camille, what are you doing to me?!

"You wouldn't last a fucking day, Cam. I know you're not thrilled about going to law school, but believe me, it's a much better career than being a cop." Holy shit, when did Kevin turn into such a raging asshole? "Stop entertaining any other ideas." He spoke coldly and with full authority. He was only four years older than her, but acted like her father. What was his problem this summer?

"Way to be a buzzkill, Kevin, I'm just making conversation." Camille spoke up from the backseat, offended and annoyed, "And stop calling me Cam. My name is Camille, dumbass."

"Okay, Cam." He threw his last words in with a snicker. Predictably, the rest of the way home was silent.

I'd known both of them since we were babies, our houses were across the street and we spent our childhoods together, attended the same school, and extra curricular activities. But even though we lived on the same street, the Alder family was very different than mine. I guess our parents all started off at the same level but at some point, the Alders became the wealthy family and my family got poorer and poorer as the years went on.

Camille and Kevin's parents were both lawyers and her dad made it big after some popular case while my father worked for the transit commission and my mom was a high school teacher. While the Alders flourished, our family whittled; we were living through a great tragedy. My younger brother was diagnosed with cancer and my parents spent every single cent we had on his treatments. He passed away three years ago, when he was fourteen.

None of us ever recovered, not financially, not emotionally, not psychologically. But the Alders lived their lives in prosperity and luck. I never held a grudge against them, everyone is dealt different cards, life is never fair.

"Thanks for the ride, Jimmy." Yes, Kevin turned into a monumental asshole once he started law school; he knew I hated that name and never used it. "Still on for tonight?" He double checked and I merely nodded, not wanting to talk to him.

"See you, James." Camille's gentle voice sounded from the backseat when she was climbing out and I caught a small smile on her face once I whipped around to look at her. I didn't say anything to her either, but that was because I lost the gift of speech when she was around.

"What's your problem?" She accused Kevin once she was out of the car but he paid her no attention and walked away taking long strides. Camille was lost for words, she stood on the sidewalk with her hands splayed out and huffed, in disbelief of how he behaved.

"Hey!" I was finally able to make a sound and caught her attention. "Did you like your lemon gelato?" I asked once she leaned into the open passenger's side window and melted in a smile at that question. I was a total douche, wasn't I? Her smile was the most enchanting thing I'd ever seen, how did I fall in love with my best friend's sister?

"Yeah!" She responded happily, "I love all things lemon." Just as I suspected.

"Get in." I motioned for her to get back in the car.

"Again? Where are we going?" She sounded surprised and I guess that was justified, we never really did a lot of stuff together unless it was pick up and drop off from sports or whatever.

"Come on. There's this fancy bakery that opened up on Orchard, they have lemon tarts, let's go try one." My mouth was literally parched from how nervous I was to ask her this.

Camille thought about it for a second, but then Kevin's annoying voice sounded from somewhere in the garage, "Cam?!" And that spurred her to climb in the car and quickly buckle up her seatbelt.

"Let's go try that tart!" She spoke with enthusiasm and I hit the gas, leaving a confused and angry Kevin in the driveway.

"What's up with your brother? Was he always an asshole and we just didn't know it?" I posed the question as I turned to Camille, her light brown hair flying in every direction with the warm wind coming from the open windows.

A bubbly laugh sounded and I almost pulled the car over and sucked her into a desperate kiss. "I don't know! Ever since he started law school, he's just become such a dick!" She spoke with energy. "It's the vibe there, you know? They all think they're better than everyone else. Smarter, richer, hotter, funnier!" She listed off all the traits that Kevin now tried to show off. "It's like a collection of losers who have finally found their moment." She philosophized while I tried my best not to stare at her and keep my eyes on the road.

"Why are you planning on joining their ranks then? You're not a loser." Oh great, I lost the gift of making conversation also.

"I don't have a choice, James." Goosebumps spread through me when she said my name. "Both parents are lawyers, grandfather has the largest firm in our town; I mean, my fate was decided for me when I was in my mother's womb." Camille sighed deeply and placed her hands in her lap where I forbade my eyes to travel, but now, I couldn't stop it. Her little red and white summer dress ended very high on her thighs, sucking the absolute last smidgen of self-restraint I had in me.