During these nineteen years of my life, I have never come across a novel or movie where they show the reality. It's such a great irony that whatever they show never happens in real life. Or perhaps they do, oblivious to the many people all across the world to whom it's just a piece of fiction. We will never ever know. We have these wild imaginations like the avatar, hunger games, twilight saga, fast and furious, and others. I am not ashamed to say that some of the above-mentioned movies are indeed my favorite.
But that's the thing about fiction. A cow lives on a tree.
Every story has two sides, some have more, and most would never be heard. I wonder if it's better that way. Not knowing the dirty, cruel, true side. It makes others feel better, but it makes us, me feel worse every time. Not that I tell my story to anyone, never have, but sometimes I just can't stop telling it to myself and what follows after, better not be revealed.
Comparing what has happened and will happen is not right. Life is different for everyone, and everyone has gone through their own version of-
I crashed into somebody, not noticing the person in front when I was walking with my eyes cast down, too lost in my thoughts.
"HEY! Watch it rose! Stop daydreaming already!" Liza smiled, the shine from her eyes making me feel warm as always.
"I am sorry Lizzie, you know how I get after the music class," I said sheepishly.
School had already ended and everyone was scurrying away to their cars in the parking lot to avoid getting wet in the snowfall. There was snow everywhere, covering the parking lot, making it slippery. The only green visible was the campus, which was colored in a dark shade of lime.
"So, how was your music class?" She asked with a hidden chirp in her voice.
"You mean how was the music teacher, right? Well, I guess he is okay. He is good at what he does, but he is a little bit younger than what you assumed, and he is Russian, I think" We started walking towards our car as I thought about the last half an hour I spent in the music room.
I was not surprised when he wrote the name Dimitri Nevada on the blackboard. He was 26 years old and had a prominent Russian accent. But the strangest thing was that he was not looking at anyone, he was just staring at the back of the class, almost as if he was staring at the wall... it was quite distracting.
"Ooh, sounds interesting, so what did you guys do?" Her indicative tone still present as I tried to ignore it and replied with as much disinterest as I could muster up.
"Oh, nothing much, it was just an introductory class." The curiosity in her not satisfied as she kept on throwing questions at me.
"Oh, and what about...."
"Shush! Now stop talking and go over there to your boyfriend and kiss him silly. He has been waiting for you for a long time." I noticed Max looking at Liza with gooey eyes from the other side of the parking lot as if he was ready to die for her.
Max was really a great guy, and I was happy about them. They made a really cute couple and were truly supportive of each other. Sometimes I did feel like a third wheeler, but I have never spent much time with Max. We were just good acquaintances.
"Aye aye captain!" She giggled before running towards him and jumping into a hug.
Smiling at her precious childishness, I went to Liza's car and waited inside for a few minutes when my phone vibrated, indicating there was a new message.
Hey, I am sorry, but max and I are going over to his place. His parents are not home sooo...Drive safely! I will see you tomorrow. k bye! xoxoxo
I sighed and smiled at their adorable relationship, turning the key in the ignition, which Liza had given me long ago after she bought the car. According to her what's hers is mine and vice versa, so the extra key was mine as well. Hesitant at first I did decline because I didn't want to bother her in any way possible but I did accept because I didn't have enough to buy one for myself and travelling in a town where most houses were secluded and away from the center of the town was hard. Oh, and it is impossible to say no to Liza.
The road completely empty with not a sign of life like always as I drove towards home with only drizzling snow keeping me company. The sky was still cloudy with gusts of wind blowing some withered leaves with them. Snow on the bushes and the roadside made a peaceful surrounding, and it was the perfect setting for the mind to drift away.
Too distracted by the beauty of it all, I failed to notice a car with dark tinted windows which was behind me, as stealthy as a snake.
When I reached home, I parked the car in our driveway. Tires crunching the gravel underneath as the car came to a stop with a shudder. The thud of the car door slamming shut behind me a little too loud in the air as I took my time absorbing my surroundings, a reality which I was thankful for. My eyes travelled up to the house which has been my home for two years. With its ancient slanted roof and an attic, it looked a bit spooky but nevertheless, it was my heaven. Our home was located in quite an isolated place, but it was easy to afford it with the limited resources we had.
I walked the short distance to the front door and unlocked it and was about to close it behind me when I noticed a car parked a few paces away from our driveway.
Maybe the person is lost.
It wasn't hard getting lost here. When we just moved in here I always used to find myself getting nervous every time I drove alone, wondering if I took a wrong road which ultimately made me call Liza a hundred times to get the directions. It was home now, I knew the place like the back of my hand. Practice makes you perfect, I guess.
I shrugged and closed the door and walked up to my room to shower and change and get ready for a lone movie night with snacks and food.
Alas, what better way can there be if you want to forget everything and be someone you are not?
I am struggling.Sometimes I feel things that are not possible to exist or feel, see things that are not there, hear words that have not been spoken. These hallucinations, these mind riveting moments, make me further believe that something is truly wrong. I am being pushed into an empty space of a puzzle that I just don’t fit into. I am the wrong piece of the picture.This feeling goes on for several days. The interval between the episodes are almost non existent, blended into time by a stubborn finger, tainted in all dark. Perhaps, only when I am asleep, do I feel some kind of peace and solace from this painful heaviness that is wound around my head like a tight band. At times, it worsens as it transforms into an itch inside my head that I can’t reach to satiate.I wonder if my brother felt it too. Or my father and mother. Did all of them feel this way or was it just me that was cursed with such a mind that made living so much harder than it was sup
The club was fully packed. It hasn’t been this crowded in a couple of weeks and even though I am practically still new here, I knew enough to know that it was not normal for the regular customers to suddenly stop coming here. Oh well, none of my business. I was the waitress here with a minimal wage pay and place to sleep which was plenty for me to survive at the moment. And with the scavenged food from the bar and ‘kitchen’ there were nights when I didn’t need to buy any food at all. Maybe one day I would be able to save enough to get out of here as well and get a place of my own. All of it sounded like a ridiculous fantasy in this dark corner of the club, drowned in the booming music and the foggy smoke air as the men and women danced to the music on the dance floor. Some lost too much in the mood to forget that they could be seen while some just straight out started making out with each other, ignoring the random pushes and thrashing as the tight crowd grooved to t
We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality.- Iris Murdoch 13 November, 3:25 am I entered the room and the first thing I saw was red. Red on the carpet, floor, red on the bedsheet and red on the lifeless body lying on the bed. My legs couldn’t hold me up any longer and I collapsed. There on the bed was my friend, my sister, my only spark of hope in this dark world, Liza. This must be a dream…no, this can’t be real. Her wide eyes that stared at the ceiling held sadness, the same familiar look I always saw in my reflection but never so still. Her lips were parted like she was trying to tell me something so desperately but her lifeless heavy body wasn’t responding to her pleas to move. Was she calling for me from the other side? Wake up, wake up. This is just a nightmare. It has to be. Somehow I crawled towards her to her hand through the blinding dizziness
"You are weak, weak and pathetic." She didn't lift her face, hiding behind the curtain of hair. It was her only shield, one so feeble and fragile but perhaps hiding her emotions was of more priority. "You are such a shame and disgrace to our family. Have you ever thought about us? How could you when you are too busy being selfish." Yes indeed, it hurt and the heaviness was too much on these weak shoulders that they couldn't help but crumble down. The urge to call someone for help clenched her heart, but she knew no one in this house would do so. For a seven-year-old, she felt like she was very dumb since she didn't know what she did wrong to earn this punishment. It has been four years now, and she still doesn't know. She was used to the pain that she felt in her bones and muscles. It was a daily routine now. As soon as the hands of the clock paused at eight in the evening every day, she tried to brace herself for what was about to come but it never helped.
Do you know how it feels to be scared every second of time? Too scared to even breathe; afraid that the very breath might cause something unpleasant. Something you don't want to find out. From going outside of the house to living in. It's hard to find a way to lead the life you have had for so long. Even the slightest heave of your chest is protested by the body. So much that you have to stop breathing for a second and those seconds turn into minutes after which the fear really cripples you and strips you bare out in the cold. It's unstoppable and trying is inane. I wasn't tied up or handcuff like all those cliché kidnapping stories. Instead, I had all the freedom that I could exercise in that shotgun seat. I believe that if I tried to escape then I could simply unlock the door and run anywhere away from him but the fact that he would let me go, didn't sit well with me. Nothing actually happens as expected when you are faced with critical situations such as t
Everything was frozen.Time, place, and memories. Even I was one of the victims to such a cold and immobile state, but he was not. I never thought that a simple curve of lips could be so mentally lethal and yet as always I was proved wrong. The huge melody of defeat orchestrated in the still air as he kept on looking at me with his eyes, as green as the demon he himself was. He was waiting for me to make some move, to run or scream at him but only one word made its way out of my lips.