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CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED
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2026-03-17 22:54:58
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TABOO (A DEAL WITH THE SHADOW ALPHA) CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED
ADDISON.Something in his expression shifted. That careful containment cracked open at the edges and what was underneath it was — a lot. Everything he had been keeping measured and patient and deliberately restrained for three weeks, looking at me now without any of the usual management over it.His hands tightened at my waist.And then he closed the distance between us and his mouth found mine and it was nothing like the careful, restrained version of him I had been living with. It was something else entirely — certain and consuming, his hands pulling me against him with a decisiveness that left absolutely no room for ambiguity about what this was and where it was going, and I went up onto my toes and kissed him back with three weeks of patience finally, completely, gratefully spent.He walked me backward without breaking the kiss and I let him, my hands in the front of his shirt, and somewhere between the living room and the bedroom the lamp in the hallway was the last light either
TABOO (A DEAL WITH THE SHADOW ALPHA) CHAPTER NINETY NINE
ADDISONAxel and I went to have dinner with Devin, I was surprised I didn’t have to write a whole 30,000 word essay to convince Axel to come with. I know how much he hated social interactions but I really wanted him to meet and talk with my brother more. To talk to the second person who meant the world to me and treated me even better than I treated myself. The evening had been perfect.Not perfect in the way that things are perfect when someone has over-planned them and ironed out every wrinkle until the whole thing feels like a production. Perfect in the quiet, unassuming way of things that simply work — good food, easy conversation, the specific comfort of being with someone who no longer required you to perform anything.Devin had been exactly himself, which meant he had been warm and sharp and funny in equal measure, and he had asked Axel questions that were pointed without being hostile and Axel had answered all of them with the same direct honesty I had come to understand was
TABOO (A DEAL WITH THE SHADOW ALPHA) CHAPTER NINETY EIGHT
ADDISONI looked at him.He was looking straight ahead, at the path, his profile lit from the side by the warm lights. He said it the way he said things that mattered. He looked so gorgeous tonight, at this point I couldn’t even blame myself for not knowing what he was, he could easily fool anyone with a face like that. "You've said that before," I said."I know." He glanced at me. "I'll probably keep saying it.""You don't have to keep—""I want to," he said simply. "Every time I think about what I could have lost because I was too afraid to just tell you the truth, I want to say it again." He looked back at the path. "So I'm going to keep saying it until it stops feeling necessary."I looked at him for a moment. At the side of his face and the set of his jaw and the very slight tension in his shoulders that was the only sign of how much he meant what he'd just said."Okay," I said softly. "You're welcome."The first drop hit my nose about ten seconds later.I looked up.The sky, wh
TABOO (A DEAL WITH THE SHADOW ALPHA) CHAPTER NINETY SEVEN
ADDISON"Axel.""It's a good surprise. I've had feedback on my previous approaches and I've adjusted."I looked at him. "Have you been taking notes?""Kind of" "Give me ten minutes to change," I said."Take twenty.""I don't need twenty.""Take them anyway." The corner of his mouth. "You look like you've had a day.""I've had a day," I confirmed, and went inside.I took fifteen minutes, which felt like a reasonable compromise, and came back down in jeans and a camel coat and flat boots because if this surprise involved heels I was going to need advance warning.He looked at me when I came through the door and did that thing he did sometimes — that barely-there pause, that fraction of a second where something moved in his face and then settled, and I had stopped trying to be unaffected by it approximately two and a half weeks ago."Better?" I asked."You always look—" He stopped. Started again in a way that was slightly less intense. "Yes. Ready?"We took his car to a part of the city
TABOO (A DEAL WITH THE SHADOW ALPHA) CHAPTER NINETY SIX
ADDISONMy mother called at six. I didn’t expect it, we hadn’t spoken at all since the big fight and I didn’t tell her anything about what happened. A part of me still couldn't imagine what her reaction could be, whether she would actually comfort me or she would just take Feign’s side like always and say that I provoked him, that’s why he did that. That was the thing about her, I could never know what she might think or do and it scared me for the longest part of my life and honestly, it still scared me so much now. I was in the car on the way home, the city moving past the windows in the early evening, the particular golden-grey light of autumn in New York turning everything slightly cinematic. I looked at the name on the screen for a full five seconds before I answered."Mum.""Addison." Her voice was exactly what it always was — composed and measured and carrying within its composure the complete blueprint of every expectation she had ever had of me. "You've been difficult to rea
TABOO (A DEAL WITH THE SHADOW ALPHA) CHAPTER NINETY FIVE
ADDISONI was at my desk eating lunch at approximately two in the afternoon, which meant it was technically not lunch but a snack, when my phone lit up with devin’s name. I picked it up immediately, wedging it between my ear and shoulder and continuing to eat because I had a fitting in forty minutes and this was genuinely the only window."Dev.""You sound like you're eating.""I'm always eating when you call. You call at lunch.""It's two o'clock.""It's a late lunch.""Addie." His voice had that particular quality it got when he was checking on me — warm but careful, taking the temperature of things. "How are you actually doing?""I'm actually doing well," I said, and meant it. "I'm back at work. I have a fitting in forty minutes. My life is remarkably ordinary right now and I am choosing to enjoy that.""Good." A pause. "I heard about Feign."I set my fork down. "What did you hear?""That he's gone," Devin said carefully. "Disappeared. His company is in chaos, nobody knows where he
TABOO (A DEAL WITH THE SHADOW ALPHA) CHAPTER NINE (DANGEROUS ATTRACTION)
ADDISON POVMy brain short-circuited for a minute. I just stared at him, his hand still hot on mine. “Wait, what? You would do that?” I finally managed to sputter. “But… you know you’d have to take your shirt off and all that. I really don’t want to stress you out. I can just call Phillip to do it.
Last Updated : 2026-03-17TABOO (A DEAL WITH THE SHADOW ALPHA) CHAPTER SEVEN (JERK!)
CHAPTER SEVENADDISONIt had been three freaking days already since not just me but even my brain had gone radio silent, I just couldn’t come up with any ideas at all. I used to have a thousand ideas packed and locked in my brain but now nothing, I looked down to see the heaps of crumpled papers tha
Last Updated : 2026-03-17TABOO (A DEAL WITH THE SHADOW ALPHA) CHAPTER ELEVEN (BUSINESS TRIP)
ADDISONI drew the final line of the sketch, and I let out a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding. I’d been so focused, so lost in the lines and structure of his form, that the rest of the world had just melted away and it was just both of us.I looked down at the sketch. It was rough, just the
Last Updated : 2026-03-17TABOO (A DEAL WITH THE SHADOW ALPHA) CHAPTER EIGHT (why not me?)
ADDISON POVYou don’t have to do that. I’ll clean it myself.”Again, he didn’t answer. He just plugged in the vacuum and turned it on. He moved with a quiet, efficient grace, rolling the vacuum over my rug. I watched, mesmerized, as he rolled his sleeves up a little higher, revealing the corded mus
Last Updated : 2026-03-17
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