THE GIRL WITH A THOUSAND BUTTERFLIES

Do you know the love of my life? You should. Is this a love story if you don't know the one with the power of spring controlling these fluttering creatures inside of me? The one making me spin and spin and spin and…fall. 

I had lived my life thinking I was the main character of a novel, a romance novel to be exact. Maybe a little comedy, some sprinkles of mystery but overall a heartwarming love story complete with a meet cute filled with butterflies, a love confession that surpassed that of Anthony Bridgeton and most importantly an happy ever after where our children sit by our feet with awe as we tell our stories for the hundredth times. I was hopeless when it came to the matters of love, maybe because I watched too many rom-coms or spent too much of my sleeping hours obsessing about finding the boy of my dreams. Maybe I was just born this way, who knows?

But I did know the reason for why I couldn’t stop dreaming even with my eyes wide open. 

Hussein. 

I couldn't even say his name out loud without my heart skipping a beat. He was the one, down to my jelly, I knew. Right from the day he materialised from Dreamland into reality. That was two years ago but still I could play that day frame by frame even at this moment. Hussein was the cardboard cut out of the perfect school boy. Prep and proper, starched white, clear framed glasses and that pouted arrogant mouth of his. He looked like he was the stuck up spoiled brat that would not stop talking about his manga collection but he wasn't. He was sweet, adorable and cute. Too cute especially when he smiled, which was every blue moon, his dimples pecked in deep, it could hold some water if he laid horizontally. 

It was love at first sight —yeah I know, whatever– but it was. He fumbled in, nervous as he faced the class to introduce himself. New student nerve, I get it, been there, done it. But it was when he walked to where I was seated, stretched out his hand like a focused businessman and introduce himself all over again. So serious, I had to hold my laughter to match his energy. He sat by my side and I took it as a mission to crack his stiff persona and by the end of the day, he did give me a smile. A stunning one at that. We became friends after that but not anymore, he was going to be my boyfriend.

It was the peak of the afternoon, the sky was lit with the zealous sun that burned vibrance on everything under it. I pressed my face and my ruffled Alice headband in between the goldenrods of my bedroom window as I wistfully breathed in the love in the air. It was Valentine's day. The day of the great proposal.

"Done!" Nikki announced. "Your Cinderella gown is ready," she said, holding the dress she had ordered the night before just for this special day. 

The waist wasn't as snatched as I wanted it so she helped me helmed an inch away with the hand needle she brought from home. Even though she teased me at every other second for making a big deal out of this, she was there through all the process. That was why she was my best friend. 

"I'm no Cinderella." I pouted as I alighted from the chair I had kneeled on to look through the window. 

"What are you then?" She shook her head and hissed so loud and dramatic. "I feel like I'm preparing you for a royal wedding or something."

She passed the dress to me. A short puff sleeve summer dress, white but patterned with red roses and laced up corset style in the front around the waist. It was a lovely dress, I didn't need to make any amends but it was shy from being perfect. I needed everything to be perfect.

I got out of my white robe and slipped into the gorgeous gown. Nikki went on to close the zipper at my back. My dressing mirror was two feet away from me and obstructed by Nikki but I didn't need it to confirm that I was stunning. I twirled because that was always the first thing I'd do when I wore a flowing dress. 

"Quick question, can you breathe?" Her eyes were on waist pinched to almost non-existence. 

"Why not?"

"You look fantastic though. Too much beauty!" 

Oh, come on." I blushed, pressing my widening smile to the palm of my hand. "I love the dress, it's my favourite now."

"Of course you do. It is perfect for you. If you will so kindly lose the headpiece-band whatever. Thank you." 

"What?" My smile ceased. "I look like a princess in it." I groaned and headed to my mirror pressed on my wardrobe to confirm that. "I really do." 

"Yes, my royal Highness but we are keeping this effortless, you know the I-woke-up-like-this type of vibe." Nikki appeared behind me from the mirror and removed the headband with ceremony. 

I swung my face left and right, checking out every angle. It didn't look as good to just have my braids laid to the back. 

"It doesn't–" I began to say. 

"Scrunchies." Somehow she had manufactured two scrunchies from her cross bag. "Come and sit." 

I said not a word before I followed her to my vanity table and right in front of another mirror, a smaller one. She was the expert here, I trusted her. I was excellent at picking up dresses from mannequins but putting out an outfit that bombs from it, that didn't come naturally. Without her, I would have my entire wardrobe on my bed and still have nothing to wear.

"And yes! Check out this lipstick I got from a package yesterday." She handed me a rose gold tube she pulled from her cross bag, inside was a stunning warm red lipstick that sparkled. 

I tried it on immediately even though I already had red lipstick on. 

"Ohmygosh, I love it." With a pout, I admired the shimmering goodness. The deep red colour shone extraordinarily on my midnight black skin like rubies floating in space.

"I know." She grinned from the mirror. 

She put my braids in a high ponytail with one of the scrunchies, the other she gave me to wear on my left wrist. Without thinking twice she passed me my white rope wedge. The result was…beautiful, for a lack of better word to say. My reflection looked like I popped out of P*******t. It was everything I imagined. I was perfect.

"Colette," Nikki called. "Do you want to kill somebody's son? No, I'm dead serious, is that your intention?." 

"Stop it." I giggled. "I'm not killing anybody."

"No but you are. I look like a potato beside you." She put her hands in akimbo and puffed up her shoulders. She didn't last one second in that position before she burst into her scattered but unique laughter.

Of course she didn't look like a potato, she was as pretty as she always was. Dressed in Valentine's colours also, she wore white leather skirt on a woolly red sweater paired with her type of boots, ankle length. She looked fantastic but of course, I wouldn't expect less. She was a fashion influencer on I*******m with fifteen thousand followers and counting. I sometimes call her my celeb friend even when she never ceases to argue that she wasn't celebrity status yet.

I took some steps back, did a 360 and catwalked back to the mirror. Nikki watched me with her lips downturned as she shook her head for the hundredth time at my over the top behaviour that day. But I didn't look at her twice, I couldn't care less about how ridiculous she thought I was doing all this ceremony. This was my day. Our day. Hussein and Colette.  

The activities of this particular day had been in the works since the start of the year. I was going to tell him everything I had held in all those years. Every single word but not in words, in songs. 

Three weeks ago, I bought three front row tickets for me, Nikki and him. It was for the most anticipated show– a love feast with our favourite afropop artist, Romeo. He would be the one singing the words I wanted to tell home everyday for the rest of our life, my favourite song. And I had a banner. 

I took a quick glance at the place I laid the banner to dry just to be sure it had not disappeared since the last time I checked.

Can I kiss you?

That was what it said. It was the title track of Romeo's latest album and it had been blowing up on tiktok with people using it for the friends to lovers challenge. Literally, that song had turned the fate of many friendzoned individuals, it was just too perfect. 

It is dark but I see you

We are friends but we are forever

Give me one sweet moment

Just to land in your eyes

We never learn

Even when the heart tell

Even when I ask maybe as a joke

Can I kiss you?

Romeo wrote this song for me. Because how long can I continue to show him my heart served in a platter of gold before he takes it? 

There was no time anymore, we would graduate high school in three or so months and still we were nothing. We should be something. It was about time. 

It was a day we both have been waiting for even if he didn’t admit it out loud. After sitting beside him for the past years—even as we moved up in class, our seats remained in the second row in the middle—he began to fall for me. It was clear when his gaze held out a little longer than necessary and when he followed me everywhere, literally MTN-personified. He joined the race team that I was even when he sucked at it. Watching him race around the field among my fellow track runners was my favourite pastime. We both wanted this and I wasn't waiting a second more for him anymore.

Gosh! I couldn't wait to see him and get over everything. I couldn't wait to be his girlfriend. To kiss him.

 To kiss Hussein. 

Will he kiss me today?