The bus moved after we entered. We were five minutes late but somehow the bus driver had managed to wait for us. I wished he didn't. I wanted to go back home and empty my eye sockets. I wanted to scream till I woke up from this unfair dream. But Nikki, she never let me be when I got sad. After that day she adopted the belief that I was itching to go back to the knife every time my little heart got cloudy. And she couldn't be more wrong. I had developed the unbending will to live, that was why my therapist didn't need to see me again. It was almost a rebellion against everything that was bent on making me wallow in agony. My father ceased to be a bother to me, the empty house made me feel like a Disney princess because only princesses are locked up in a castle. Like a battle knight, I had been toughened to mount this journey of life with unrelenting drive and a pocket full of passion.I will live. I will get all that I desire, all that I deserve. I will love someone. I will find some
The surroundings of my dad's hospital were the only beautiful part of the hospital, inside was as grey as a graveyard and as white as heaven. They really had to make hospitals in the colours of death. If it was up to me, I would throw in some pinks and lilacs to give the anguished hearts that patrol these hallways something pleasant to look at. Everyone could used a break in the monotony of dreary grey and wilting white that made one feel like they were in the stomach of death the monster. I know I did feel that way the last time I was here. The hospital's compound made sure to have everything not found on the inside, as a compensation I suppose. Flowers, my favourite thing, were in every direction that the neck turned. Some forgotten Christmas lights still tangled in the shrubs shone dimly in the twilight. It was life, twinkling in the dark like a promise, like a tangible hope that somehow this life riddled with affliction and endless agony would end in joy, maybe in this world, may
I was going back. I wanted to see him and nothing ever stopped me from doing what I wanted to do. Ninety nine percent of all my problems were because of that. I faked a call from my dad in front of Nikki to escape her judgement because she would never understand why I had to do this. Going back to him was mandatory to me. It was as necessary as taking the next breath. No one could understand this. I didn't understand my restless mind either but I did know peace might be when he looked back at me with his eyes made of gold dust. He was alive and he would be well but now I needed a glimpse at him. And I knew where he was, what should stop me from seeing him for the briefest second? Who wouldn't be tempted to? It was just a glimpse, I wouldn't disturb him. There can't be anything wrong with that. "I'm just going to see him and be off my way." I told myself as I turned head first to the direction of the elevator by the left. I practically floated to it, my steps touched the ground like
Nikki sighed. She picked up her phone and watched our Uber ride approach from the app and sighed again.We were by the roadside, almost a mile away from the hospital. Vehicles zoomed past us into the highway ahead of us. Our Uber was late, the day was dark and Nikki's phone blew up non-stop. Her parents were calling her. She had passed her curfew and I knew that would be an issue for her at home. She was never out from eight and it was eight thirty."What am I going to do, Nikki?" I trembled head to toe. I bit down my shaking fingers, chewing out my fingernails as I transformed into a bag of nerves. "Nikki." I cried out but to no avail. She wouldn't even look at me, just her phone and the road. "Nikki, you are not even saying anything!" I cried even louder. "Say what?" She snapped. "Say what, Colette? I'm asking you. You caused this for yourself and…just leave me be. For now." She faced the road and screamed at the incoming traffic. "Jeez! Where is this man? Oh God! What is even h
Author Note ************Hello Besties! It's your homegirl, Tinaa. And I want to thank you, first and foremost, for reading my novel till this point, like seriously, you are awesome! Just for doing that I want to give you the amazing award but you already have it…so keep it then😍. I also want to ask for a favour from you. The love and support I feel from afar as you read each chapter and wait for the next but do you know what will have me giggling like our favourite silly Colette, your comments. At the end of every chapter, please leave a comment to tell me exactly what you think about that chapter. What you like or don't like, lay it out. I have, like, one brain cell so with yours supporting the hell out of me, you know it will be lit. Let's write the sweetest love story together. And off to sweet Colette finding her sweet love or not. *************Nikki's bedroom smelled like a tiny perfume shop with all the fragrances fighting for dominance in my small nostrils. Vanilla, ci
He was here. The sun was up and in my eyes. The first thing I saw was a sheer curtain attempting to keep the morning light away. The wind blew, sending the curtains up to the ceiling. The few seconds that the window was left bare, I caught a glimpse of the flowers designed by mother nature blooming in bunches and shrubs. They were in a dozen poignant colours, the reds looked like it could bleed. And there were butterflies, two– no three fluttered in my vision. Their wings, quite small but painted like it could only be made for the museum or for Disneyland. The curtain closed and I saw the room more clearly. It was not my room nor was it Nikki's. This room and this king sized bed with a seriously thick duvet must belong to a prince. A prince charming. I knew what this was. It could only be one of those dreams. I smiled because if this is a dream, I knew just who would be behind me. "Good morning princess." The voice confirmation came through.Romeo. I almost laughed at myself.
Let me drop you off." Nikki's mother signed as she knocked at the entrance of Nikki's room. "It will be better that way."She was mute but she heard everything Nikki and I had argued about in her room. Nikki kept insisting that I went to school that day. So much for someone that wanted to protect me forever, now she wants to cast me to the dogs just when they are furiously seeking for prey. I had wanted to stay back home for a week till everything fizzled out but Nikki wanted me to be in school like right now and even board the school bus where they will start to take a bite from me till I vanished from this Earth. "Good morning ma." I knew much of sign language from relating with Nikki's family over the years. Although I understood more than I could gesture. Her mother had always been sweet with me but she always had his pity look on her face for me. She would give me extra meat, stuff me all the snacks in the house even those she restricted Nikki from and sometimes she wanted me
The TV was on and someone spoke passionately on it, even though the volume was brought to the minimum, one could tell the speaker was angry. And for some reason, every word they spoke itched my brain in a certain way, not a good one too."Turn it off." I muttered as I tried to get fully awake. My eyes were opened but I couldn't see a thing for a hot second. The fog started to disperse with every blink I took. And when it was all gone and I could see more clearly then my eyes started to hurt from the bright light. No one had turned off the TV and for good reason, no one was here with me.For a moment, I wanted to be mad and sad but then isn't this the usual? By now, emptiness should give me an high five whenever it was around because we were buddies forever…even till death.I had expected that at least, regardless of all my troubles and assumptions, I wouldn't die alone. I thought Nikki would be with me, she would cry and possibly miss me and Hussein too, he was always agitated whene