THE HILARIOUS HUSBAND (LEE BROTHERS #2)

CHAPTER ONE: HOPE's IDEAL TYPE

★HOPE RYKER LEE★

HINDI talaga 'ko makapaniwala sa nangyayari. Me, Hope Ryker Lee—Mr. Confidence himself—reduced to a blushing mess because my own fiancée hasn’t even looked at me simula pa kanina sa church nang magsimula ang seremonya sa kasal ng kakambal kong si Faith at hanggang ngayon dito sa reception.

Oo. Hindi pa naman kami magkakilala at ito pa lang ang unang beses ko siyang makita dahil si Mommyla ang nag-invite sa kaniya rito. Pero hindi lang naman siya basta bisita sa kasal ni Faith at Sugarpop. Inimbita siya rito para magkaharap kami at magkakilala.

Pero wala—ni balingan ako ng tingin ay hindi niya magawa. Instead, she’s engrossed in conversation with a few other guests at her table, flashing that stunning smile of hers. And when she laughs—man, it’s like the whole room brightens up. While I’m over here, awkwardly trying to catch her attention, but she’s in her own world, completely oblivious to my existence.

Dapat nga sana ay kami ang magkatabi, to get to know each other ba? Pero hanep, daig ko pa ang invisible. What’s up with that? Usually, I’m the one with girls practically tripping over themselves to talk to me, but now? Now, I’m the one sitting here like a lovesick puppy, staring at the back of her head.

Napansin ni Love ang pagsulyap-sulyap ko sa direksyon niya, of course. He always does. And because he’s my twin, he has to make it worse. “Ano’ng pakiramdam?” he asks, grinning like a cat that got the cream, “na hindi ka pinapansin ng babae? Hindi lang basta babae kundi fiancée mo pa.”

I groan and sink lower in my chair. “Para ‘kong magkokombulsyon. Why isn’t she looking at me? Nandito lang naman ako, and I’m wearing a killer suit!” I spread my arms, showing off my outfit as if that alone should be enough to break her concentration. But no, she’s still not looking.

“It’s like her radar’s on high alert—screaming, ‘Danger! Warning! Abort mission!’ She knows getting close to you spells trouble, so she’s already dodging like a pro,” pang-aasar niya pa. Kaharap ko siya sa table, pati si Summer at Tita Baby. Pero may sariling mundo ang dalawa sa girl’s talk nila kaya hindi nila rinig ang usapan namin ni Andreng.

I shoot him a mock glare. “Trouble? Huh! Kailangan ko pa bang ulit-ulitin kung sino ‘ko? My name is Hope Ryker Lee—the epitome of charm. I’m charming. Charismatic. Romantic. Fantastic. Energetic. Authentic. Acrobatic. Aesthetic. Automatic. Elastic. Erotic. Lahat ng may ‘tic’ sa dulo.”

“Abnotic,” biglang sabat ni Tita Baby, na hindi ko namalayang nakikinig na pala sa ‘min ni Love.

“Exotic,” natatawa ring dagdag ni Summer.

“Abnormalistic.” Pati si Love, tatlo na silang pinagtatawanan ako.

“Hoy—” inis kong saway sa kanila, pero agad ko rin hininaan ang boses ko. “Akala n’yo nakakatuwa kayo? Gusto n’yo bang mag-cry na lang ako rito?”

Love Andrei just shakes his head, clearly enjoying this way too much. “I think this is what they call karma, Hopia. You’ve spent years having girls throw themselves at you, and now the one girl you actually want to talk to is pretending you’re not even here. How’s that feel? Terrible, isn’t it?”

“Oo. Para ‘kong sinipa sa bayag,” pag-amin ko, half-laughing, half-pouting. “But I’m not giving up. No way. Gusto ko rin ng happily ever after tulad ni Faithfully kaya susubukan kong kunin ang atensyon niya. Hindi man sa ngayon, malay n’yo after ten years.”

“Para kay Kuya Faith lang ‘yong ‘Happily Ever After’. Kapag ikaw, ‘Happily NEVER After’.” Bahagya pang natawa si Summer. Ngayon ko na-realized na mahirap pala kapag nagkaroon ka ng kapatid na nakuha ang ugali mo. Hindi ko siya mabara dahil gano’n din ako mang-asar minsan.

“Pa’no mo naman kukunin ang atensyon niya?” tanong ni Tita Baby, bahagyang natatawa.

“I just need to... I don’t know, make her laugh or something. Gustung-gusto naman ng mga babae sa funny guys, ‘di ba?”

“Huwag mong lahatin,” ani Summer. “Hindi lahat natutuwa sa funny guy. Kami nga inis na inis sa ‘yo, eh.”

I narrow my eyes at her, determined. “Huwag n’yo ‘kong malitiin. Manood kayo.” Tumayo ako sa kinauupuan ko, buong determinasyon na pupuntahan sana ang fiancée ko sa table na kinaroroonan niya, pero no’ng humakbang na ‘ko, hindi pa man ako nakakalayo sa table namin, my legs feel like jelly. What the heck? Since when do I get nervous?

Tita Baby laughs so hard she nearly falls out of her chair. “Oh, gosh, this is priceless. Hope Ryker, the guy who’s never nervous, can’t even walk straight.”

“Shut up, Tita Babes!” I mutter, but even I can’t help but chuckle. It’s ridiculous, and yet here I am, totally thrown off my game. But one way or another, I’m going to get her attention. Even if I have to pull off the most embarrassing stunt ever, she’s going to look at me. Not today, but soon.

“Mukha kang desperado, Kuya Hope,” komento ni Summer pagbalik ko sa upuan ko. “Na-love at first sight ka ba kay Ate Elisse?”

Elisse.

Yeah.

Elisse Garcia. That’s her name. Bagay na bagay sa kaniya. Ang sarap bigkasin. Pang mahinhin, yet masiyahin. Apo siya ng isa sa mga kaibigan ni Lolo Don A noon. Kilala rin ang pamilya nila sa industriya lalo na sa larangan ng Entertainment dahil daddy niya ang kasalukuyang CEO ng film production company nilang Garcinema, habang siya naman ang production manager.

But it’s one of those things that really gets under my skin. We’re both in the entertainment industry, right? So why is she acting like she doesn’t know who I am? I mean, she should at least be familiar with me—Lee Entertainment isn’t exactly small-time. Not to brag, but from what I know, Lee Entertainment has been at the top of the rankings since last year and hasn’t budged an inch.

“Love at first sight?” Napairap ako kay Summer, kasunod ng pag-iling ko. “Wala na tayo sa unang panahon, Summer.  Nineteen-kopong-kopong pa ‘yang love at first sight na ‘yan. ‘Di naman ako naniniwala r’yan.”

Summer just looked at me, eyebrows raised, clearly unimpressed by my modern-day skepticism. “Alright. Pansin ko kasing hindi mo maiwanan ng tingin si Ate Elisse, kaya akala ko na-love at first sight ka na.”

“Well, ano ba’ng tipo mo sa babae?” tanong ni Tita Baby na medyo umagaw sa interest ko kaya napangiti ako.

“Of course, gusto ko ng katulad ko.”

“Sintu-sinto rin?” gulat na tanong ni Summer.

“Hindi. Bwisit ka!” Inirapan ko siya kaya natawa sila. “Gusto ko ng cheerful, fun to hang out with, and never a drag. You know, the kind of person who can keep up with my spontaneous road trips and impromptu dance-offs. I want a partner who’s always up for anything, because let’s be real—if you’re with someone who’s all about good vibes, your life just turns into one big adventure.”

Malapad akong napangiti habang iginagala ang tingin, ini-imagine ang gano’ng sitwasyon kasama ang mapapangasawa ko. “Ganito lang ‘yan: kapag ang taong kasama mo ay may positive energy, every day feels like a celebration. And who wouldn’t want that? I mean, who needs a boring life when you can have a blast all the time? Being happy is practically a superpower. It’s like a personal longevity program. More laughs, more fun, and you just keep going strong.”

Habang nagsasalita ako, nakatingin lang sila sa ‘kin na salubong ang kilay, pero bahagyang natatawa. “So, that’s what I’m after—someone who can match my energy, because with a partner like that, life’s one big, happy party.”

“Pa’no kung hindi gano’n si Ate Elisse?” curious na tanong ni Summer.

“Simple.” I smirked. “Divorce is the key.”