The longest nights

Three days, and that was all it took for my life to split into two.

There was the life I had before Lily arrived, and there was the life I was learning to survive now.

The packhouse hadn’t changed. The same stone corridors stretched beneath the morning sun. The same servants hurried from one task to another. The same guards stood at attention outside the entrance.

Yet everything felt… different.

The silence between Kael and me had grown heavier.

Not because he loved me any less.

At least, that was what I kept telling myself.

He still sought me out every morning before training. He still kissed my forehead before leaving for the council chambers. Every evening, he joined me for dinner, asking about my day with the same gentle smile that had made me fall in love with him.

He was trying and i saw it but trying didn’t erase the truth.

Every night, after our dinner together, he would excuse himself.

“I won’t be long.” He’d say.

Those four words had become my least favorite sentence.

I knew where he was going, and I wasn’t wrong.

It was Lily’s chamber.

The first night, I had convinced myself he was only checking on her. The second night, I tried reading to distract myself.

By the third… I could no longer lie to myself.

They were trying to conceive.

The elders had demanded an heir, and Kael was simply doing what he believed was necessary.

That didn’t make it hurt any less.

***********

I sat alone in our bedroom, staring into the dying fire.

The clock on the mantel chimed softly and stopped at ten.

He had been gone for over an hour.

I picked up the book resting on my lap for what felt like the hundredth time.

I hadn’t made it past the first page.

Every creak of the floorboards made my heart leap.

Every gust of wind against the windows made me think he was coming back.

My wolf paced restlessly inside me.

“Go to him.” She urged me.

“No.” I said immediately.

“He’s our mate.” She snarled.

“I know.” I sighed.

“Then why is he with another female?” She asked impatiently.

I squeezed my eyes shut because I didn’t have an answer.

How do I explain to her that her mate was having sex with another woman in her chamber, and that he had been doing so for three days now?

The bedroom door opened quietly.

I looked up so quickly my neck protested.

Kael stepped inside. His shirt was wrinkled, and his dark hair looked as though he’d run a hand through it several times.

The moment he saw me awake, guilt flickered across his face.

“You waited?” He asked.

“I wasn’t sleepy.” I said softly, picking up the scent of another woman on him.

It was a poor lie.

He crossed the room and crouched before my chair. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” I tried to act strong.

“For making you wait.” He replied.

I forced a smile. “You don’t have to apologize.”

“Yes, I do.” His fingers intertwined with mine. “I know this isn’t easy.”

“No.” I protested, giving a fake laugh.

“It isn’t.” His thumb brushed gently across my knuckles. “If I could change this…”

“Would you?” I cut him off as soon as he spoke.

He nodded. “In a heartbeat.”

I searched his face.

He looked exhausted, not relieved, or excited. Just… tired.

“I don’t hate you,” I whispered.

His shoulders relaxed ever so slightly.“I was afraid you would.”

“I hate the situation.” I said, sitting upright.

“So do I.” He said sadly.

For a long moment, neither of us spoke.

Then he rested his forehead against mine.

“I love you.” The words escaped him with quiet certainty. “I always will.”

A tear slipped down my cheek before I could stop it.

“I love you too.” I said back.

***********

Life settled into a routine I never wanted.

Breakfast with Kael, pack duties throughout the day, dinner together.

Then…He would disappeared into another woman’s room.

No matter how often I reminded myself it was for the pack, the image haunted me.

I imagined them laughing, talking, touching, and then fucking each other till their bodies become sweaty.

Every possibility tightened around my heart like vines. I hated myself for imagining it.

Kael had never given me a reason to doubt his love before this.

Yet love wasn’t the only thing marriage required.

Sometimes, simply sharing him with someone else felt unbearable.

Lily remained exactly as everyone described her.

Sweet, quiet, and respectful.

Whenever we crossed paths, she bowed.

“Luna.” She’d greet.

“Miss Lily.” I’d reply back.

“I hope your morning has been pleasant.” She’d ask with a lot of concern.

“It has.” I’d reply.

She always smiled timidly before lowering her gaze again.

The servants adored her, and praised her openly.

“She’s so humble.”

“So polite.”

“So grateful.”

Even the elders praised her.

“She understands her duty.”

Unlike me, apparently. I had overheard that remark while passing outside the council room.

It stung more than I cared to admit.

A week later, I found Kael standing alone on one of the balconies overlooking the training grounds.

The afternoon breeze carried the scent of pine and damp earth.

He didn’t hear me approach, his shoulders were tense.

“You’re hiding.” I said, announcing my presence.

He looked over his shoulder before offering me a small smile.

“I was thinking.”

“That usually means trouble.” I whispered.

A quiet chuckle escaped him. “I suppose it does.”

I stepped beside him.

Below us, young wolves trained under the watchful eyes of veteran warriors.

“They’re getting stronger,” I said.

“They’ll need to.” He frowned.

“You sound worried.” I said with a lot of concern.

“I am.” He leaned against the stone railing. “The northern borders have been restless.”

“The Icefall Pack?” I asked.

He nodded. “I’ve heard Alpha Edwin has been expanding patrols.”

I frowned. “I thought relations were peaceful.”

“They are. I’d like to keep them that way.” He sighed.

I didn’t think much of the name.

Alpha Edwin was simply another neighboring Alpha.

Someone I’d never met, and someone whose affairs had nothing to do with mine.

My attention remained fixed on Kael.

“You’ve been carrying too much.” I muttered.

“So have you.” He reached over, brushing a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “I’m sorry.”

“You’ve apologized enough.” I pulled away from him.

“I’ll keep apologizing until I make this right.” He said confidently.

I smiled sadly. “I don’t think either of us knows how.”

*********

Another two weeks passed.

The waiting became unbearable.

Every morning, healers visited Lily’s chamber.

Every evening, the elders asked whether there was any news.

Every full moon, I prayed that somehow…Somehow…The Moon Goddess would perform a miracle.

That perhaps I would wake carrying Kael’s child.

I knew it was foolish, but hope is a difficult thing to kill.

It happened on a rainy afternoon.

I had been arranging flowers in the great hall when hurried footsteps echoed through the corridor.

“Healer! Someone fetch the Alpha!” A maid cried out.

The bouquet slipped from my hands.

The maid rushed past me, nearly stumbling over her own dress.

“What happened?” I asked.

Her face glowed with excitement.

“Miss Lily fainted!” She announced.

Cold dread settled over me. I found myself walking toward Lily’s chamber before I realized what I was doing.

The hallway outside was crowded.

Servants whispered excitedly, and elders smiled among themselves.

The door opened, and the pack healer stepped outside.

His face was brighter than I’d ever seen it.

“Congratulations, Alpha. The Moon Goddess has blessed the pack. She is carrying your heir.” He announced.

For one heartbeat, the entire world became perfectly still.

Then cheers erupted around me. The elders clapped each other on the shoulders. Servants laughed through happy tears.

Warriors lifted their fists in celebration.

“Our future Alpha!”

“The Goddess has answered!”

I searched the crowd until I found Kael.

His eyes were wide with disbelief.

For a moment, he simply stood there, then emotion overwhelmed him.

It was a mixture of relief, joy, surprise, and gratitude.

He covered his face with one trembling hand before letting out a shaky laugh.

I had never seen him cry until that moment.

He turned instinctively, searching the hallway.

Our eyes met and for just an instant, the celebration around us disappeared.

He walked toward me slowly, and almost hesitantly.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, though I wasn’t sure what he was apologizing for.

I looked into the eyes of the man I loved. The man who had dreamed of becoming a father. The man whose greatest wish had finally come true.

My own heart was breaking.

Yet somehow…I still managed to smile.

“I’m happy for you.” I forced a smile. The words tasted like ash.

He pulled me into a tight embrace.

“Thank you.”

I wrapped my arms around him, holding on for just a second longer than I should have.

Because deep inside, beneath the congratulations and celebration…A quiet fear had begun to grow.

I couldn’t explain it, I couldn’t justify it.

But as the pack rejoiced over the unborn heir…My wolf retreated into silence.

As though she sensed that this joyous day was not the beginning of our happiness, but the beginning of the end.