ZADE“I don’t plan on being cute with you tonight.”My hand slowly caresses her skin, from her ankl,e to her thigh, traveling up her leg, watching fascination how she trembles and goosebumps leave in my wake, the higher I go.I kneel on the bed, slowly hovering above her, my elbow beside her head as I glide my palm softly on her skin, reaching her waist, to her ribcage, going up … feeling the swell of her breast, as I go further up until I reach her neck.I finally look at her face, her eyes hooded, her lashes fluttering as she looks up at me. I blink and I don’t see Livie but…Ari as she looks up at me, those smoldering eyes looking up at me.My breath hitches, freezing in place. I blink again and it's back to Livie, who is looking at me with desire, her hand going up from my chest, to my neck and finally to my jaw.“Baby?”What's going on?I lower my head towards her and kiss her softly, my lips pressing on hers, not going in, just feeling her plush soft lips on me.But it feels dif
ARII wake up in a gasp, my whole body feeling so sore and achy.Startled, I touch between my legs, and a blush creeps up my neck to my ears. My sleeping shorts are soaked.“uuurgh,” I groan, burying my face in my palms. What was that dream? Is that why I feel like I ran a marathon?I have never had such a dream before, let alone think of something like that. I mean I have always been curious but I thought I was asexual since none of the boys or girls I have met ever aroused such emotions from me.But that dream … why did it feel like it happened in real-time? And worst of all, it had to be with that stupid boy?!“This is so fucked up,” I groan as I push the covers off me and run to the bathroom. It is embarrassing enough that I am still tingling down there, worse than the moment he comes into my mind I want to feel as I felt in my dreams.Ahh, this is driving me insane!I set the water to ice cold as I strip and toss the wet shots and the tank top into the dryer before stepping into
ARII don’t want to leave the confines of my room.“This is THE gala. How can you think of not attending?” mimi I holding the gowns that Mother sent over for this birthday party I am supposed to attend tonight.“it's too last minute, I am not ready to mingle with the legacies.” She might have told me days ago but I have been avoiding everyone and the world.“believe it or not, you are a legacy too, missing this would be fatal. Like declaring a war or something.”I gape at Mimi. “are you serious?”“no,” she pushes her glasses up. “but missing the birthday party of your grandfather,” she raises her finger up when I narrow my eyes. “step-grandfather, that would mean that you are cutting yourself off the social group.”“I don’t see how that is a bad thing. The more you talk, the more enticing it gets that I miss it and just stay in bed watching Netflix.”“it's bad because this man is powerful and might bring problems to your father-in-law which leads to your mother. You said that you alwa
ZADEI hate parties.A place where people come and mingle, pretend and laugh, drink, make a mess of themselves and then go home. Its too loud, its too much faking for me to handle yet here I am, smiling so effortlessly and even laughing you would never think I am not having the best time of my life.“I am so glad you two are sticking together. Everyone heard that the goddess didn’t fate you and it was just so sad,” the tall man with large eyes that looks like beads, glazed from having too many glasses of wine cocks his head in sympathy.“We are in love, of course, we will fight for our love. Nothing is ever a done deal, especially not to us, who are already arranged to marry.”Kill me now.Olivia touches my arm as she leans forward, her smile gleaming so perfectly and the man sighs in contentment. “yes, you are the epitome of a good daughter. I wish my daughter was like you.”“Kaitlyn is just as perfect mr.Nikolai,” Olivia chuckles and the man man shakes his head.“I was hoping she wo
ZADEMy hand is shaking as I look at him with her.“Baby, you are bleeding!” Olivia rushes to my side and grabs my hand. “what happened?”I shrug her hold off my hand gently, looking away. “it's nothing. Just a small scratch it; will heal in a minute.”She grabs it again persistently. " You have shards of glass in the flesh; let me clean you up.”Logan looks at me and I shake my head. Everything is fine, I am fine I won't jump off and go punch my father right in his face even if it's all I ache for now.Logan seems to feel content that I won't storm off and sits back in his chair, back to being broody. That’s why he is my closest friend. There is Rowan and Cass as well but I am closest with him. he understands me, sees the darkness chiurning inside me, and doesn’t seem frightened by it. He encourages me to look at it once in a while too.He once told me it's good to be familiar with all of you because the longer you ignore those parts, the stronger and more pressing they get. When it
ARII shouldn’t have come.“my baby!” a kiss on my cheek. “you look so beautiful.”“thank you mom, you look amazing too as always,” I look ar her side at the man who is smiling, hand on the small of her waist. “Mr. Parkers, thank you for inviting me.”He chuckles and steps in front of me. “when will you stop addressing me so formally?” probably never? He leans in for a hug. Its stiff, all my joints and limbs locked and I count the seconds until its all over.“the place looks wonderful.” It does. The who place is decorated so beautifully, I feel like I have walked rihght in a movie set.“my father loves everything to be a high luxury, everyone must have a good experience at his parties.”As I look around, I feel a smoldering gaze on my left and when i lock eyes with the silver ones, I feel my heart lurch to my throat.I knew he would be here, its his grandfafther’s party after all. I also expected the girl in his arm too, she is his girlfriend after all.I hate how my stomach drops whe
ZADE“zade!”“I am fine, don’t worry about me,” I turn toward the girl following me. “I just need to get fresh air then I will be okay.”Her heels click on the tiled floor as she approaches me, her dress swishing around her ankles. She looks like a fairy, a beautiful princess dressed like this. It’s the opposite of the other one trying to cozy up to my dad in front of me.“I didn't know she would be so shameless as to do that right in front of everyone,” Livie shakes her head. “why do they have to be here? They don’t belong to this world.”She knew I would be watching, that’s why she had t put on a fucking act and do what could hurt me. They look like a family, a perfect family of three.“your grandfather must have sway to your father,” Livie touches my arm. “you need to make sure you get back to the front, where you belong. Don’t let her steal the spotlight. It's yours.”“I am already the heir, what can she do?”“with how close I have seen she is with your father, do you think she ca
ARIWhat am I doing?I exhale as the door closes behind me with a click.The cool air of the open rooftop hits my clammy skin, and I feel like I am breathing properly for the first time that night.I walk to the glass railing and lean on it, looking at the glimmering skyline of the city. It’s a beautiful night, so different from all the ugly emotions churning inside me.Where did it start? Where will it end? My heart on the floor, stomped and bloodied? My honor and sanity to shits? All because my heart, my whole body, and my life seem to be starting because someone is activating all of these things within me?Why does it have to be the wrong person? Why does it have to be the one person who doesn’t love me, will never love me, let alone accept me?I am pathetic.I knew this would happen if I let it happen. I fell into the trap that’s called zade. I am going to get burned, scorched, and burnt to ashes.He was kissing her as he looked at me. I led him on, trapping him in my trap, tempti
ZADEShe looks peaceful. Like an angel, sleeping like this.But when has she never felt or looked like an angel? I sit down on the leather chaise in the master suite, eyes trained on the massive bed that seems to swallow up her small, lithe figure.She is mad at me.I am mad at myself, too, if I am being honest. I keep forgetting impprtant shit that should be automatic when it comes to ari but then I fucked up again. I can’t keep fucking up, it’s going to cost me largely and I won’t be able to live with myself.I think I know what she needs the most. What she is asking the world for, her mother, what she is asking me for. What she is asking herself.Being with me is threatening all of that, I know it. I can feel it too, like this deep truth just below my consciousness, and I must act on it, or I will lose her. It’s not defined, it's not named, but it's there. I can feel it, and if I focus on it, I can most definitely almost put a name to it.To this feeling that Ari wants and feels m
ARI“I shouldn’t have this conversation while I am seeing two of you, but I need to let it off my chest, otherwise I will not say anything. You need to understand that one day I will be gone and you won’t ever see me.“Maybe I won’t have said something and you will think that everything is fine between us but it’s not. So this is me telling you that one day, I will leave you because me and you, we won’t end up together.“I can’t be with you. I can’t be with anyone. Mother is safe now and all I have left is one year to get done with school then I can do what I want the most. But then you … you have plans. You are set.“I certainly didn’t see this coming, you being my mate and all. But that shouldn’t confuse me or you that I will stay and continue doing life as if it’s perfect. It’s not perfect. I am not perfect, and it’s okay. I like it this way because t
ARINow I am his mate, then I will be his crowned wife, then I will be told to perform this and that for him, for the pack, for the kingdom.None of that for me. All will be stripped of who I am, what is mine, and be dressed in what is his. Be in servitude for the rest of my life, and for what? Love? I don’t believe in love.I never grew up in love long enough to believe in it, long enough to let it impact me in a way that, by believing, if I stay by Zade’s side, all will be okay. I am jaded, messy, and broken.He got mated to a disaster, and he knows it. He doesn’t even know what he wants for himself, but he has the privilege of that being thought for him.I might have misjudged him in the past as this cruel, mindless prince that is spoiled and such, but I wasn’t far off.But despite it all, I know that I have no future with zade. I can’t tell him that though, and it hurts somewhere I my chest to think I will h
ARII nod, exhaling softly. “I see.”“I didn't mean to hurt you. I just needed you to understand that some things are serious. Worldly things are impactful.”That makes me want to laugh, but I can't find the strength to. “I guess I wouldn’t know.”“Come on, why are you bringing that up? I thought we were talking about the beautiful views and the oncoming summer.”“You keep forgetting that I am not a child, Zade. You treat me like I am porcelain that can break any second if left unattended, and think that I don’t have brains.”“It's not like that. I want to protect you.”“Patronize me. I don’t even know why I am surprised. You are just an asshole, an alpha asshole who thinks that they know better and the rest are just his minions who couldn’t think for themselves.”God, this is why I hate packs. Being patronized, led like sheep, told to do this and that, not allowed to think on your own, especially if you are a female wolf, mated to a goddamn prince of the goddamn kingdom.I am not eve
ARII never wanted to believe in knights.Having someone there for you to take your needs seriously and follow them through … that’s something that I never thought could happen for me. Yet here I am.Zade asked me to be with him this summer, to take a break with him, and all I wanted to do was be away from what I had come to know. I needed to escape my reality for as long as I could, and when I told him that as long as he took me somewhere far, I would have fun, then yes.So now I am watching the ocean. The wind is ruffling my short hair, the salty, cool breeze caressing my skin, and the sound of the waves, the calming subliminal noise of the ocean, is making my heart start feeling peaceful.He took it seriously. I wanted to get away, and he took me to a beautiful island that I didn’t know existed. It's so beautiful. Palm trees, mountains, ocean, green everywhere, it looks like it's out of a fairy land.I don’t know how he does it. How he manages to catch me off guard and floor me aga
ARIZade is letting me take what I need from him, this time letting me have my way on my terms.It has been that way from the very beginning, but tonight, it's like he wants me to take care of myself using him and, in a way, take care of himself too, by using him.So when I guide him and press him on my opening, we both freeze, breathing heavily before I urge him with a pull of his hips to push inside me.And heavens, it feels delicious. The stretch, the feeling of him opening me up as my walls accommodate him until he is fully seated inside me …I contract, squeezing him, feeling the girth inside me and I want to swallow more of him, suck him in and keep him there … it’s a heady, good feeling.“Why won't you love me?” The hoarse whisper makes me open my eyes just as Zade looks at me. He is …crying?“What?” I ask, eyes wide.“Why did you say you can't love me?”“Because,” I shift, and we both groan. His hips jerk in response, and he starts moving slowly. He has forgotten about the que
ARIWhen the body is exposed to extreme cold, at some point, it stops supplying the less important parts with blood in order to save the vital organs.It has been quite similar to me. I have spent most of my life just functioning, and apparently it has been necessary for my body to cut off supplies to some of the things anyone my age would deem normal to have.There hasn’t been a case where I could feel anything other than flight and flight. But eventually, here I am.My body is thawing, slowly coming to life, and it feels so good.Zade’s tongue is slicking inside my mouth, seeking and touching every crevice inside. His body is pressed to mine to keep me up, one thigh pressed between my legs, one hand grabbing my butt, hips flushed.I am weak at my knees. I want him, I can feel him, and I am floating. I know I am kissing him, but I am also falling and falling, feeling safe that he will catch me.It’s a dam that has been let loose.He is mine. I shouldn’t feel this way. I should feel g
ZADE“But then it will be another, then another… if you can be swayed so easily, then is it even worth it?”“I wasn’t swayed easily. You and I know that there is more to us than a bond between mates.”“Hard to believe that when all that connects us is that.”“Our parents do connect us, too. Do you think we wouldn’t have crossed paths if we hadn’t been mates?”“We could have, but you would be intent on killing me or destroying my life like you did at the beginning.”“That’s true. But you can just chalk up my feelings and invalidate them, simplify them to one variable.”“It’s the only thing that is making sense. I mean, here I am, sitting in your love sanctuary, surrounded by your memories with her, and yet you are telling me it's me you want. What about her? Why was it so easy for you to just leave her?”“If you hadn't shown up, I already knew it would rather be her that I pretended with, cosplayed my inner wishful thinking even though it wasn’t true.”I close my eyes briefly before lo
ZADEThere is something dark, alluring, and compelling about Ari Silvers that I have never been able to fully comprehend.Her beauty and magnetism are not the traditional kind. It's raw, demands that you see her, revere her, and ache to be close to her, so you can bathe in it.She is beautiful in the traditional sense as well, but then you look again. And again, and again. You are drawn in, wanting, needing, desiring, and even wanting to corrupt.She is pure, she is dark, she is innocent, but also twisted. She is all that you wish you could hold and covet to yourself, but you cannot. For it is not to be held by others and coveted, stolen, but to be looked at, worshiped, and if you are good, to be bathed in.But never yours.She is sitting on the rooftop.I followed the feeling of our bond, and I am surprised, a little unsure why she would be here. This is where she fell, almost to her death after all.Her knees are pressed against her chest as she looks at the far distance, lost in wh