Chapter 5

I didn’t want to wake up.

When I was asleep, I could pretend. Pretend that the rejection never happened. Pretend I was still in my small basement room back at Bloodfang, getting ready for another day where no one noticed me. Pretend my world hadn’t completely fallen apart in just one day.

But my body didn’t care.

Pain pulled me awake — dull, deep pain that spread from my shoulder where the arrow had pierced me. My muscles hurt, like I’d been stepped on by something heavy. And underneath it all was a deep tiredness that made even opening my eyes feel like too much work.

Still I forced them open anyway.

Soft sunlight came through the thin walls of Lyra’s tent, turning everything a warm gold. The air smelled of herbs, smoke, and food cooking somewhere close — a smell that made my stomach twist painfully.

How long had it been since I’d eaten? Two days? Maybe three?

I tried to sit up, but instantly regretted it. The world tilted, my shoulder burned, and for a second I thought I was going to throw up.

“Easy,” a voice said.

Lyra appeared beside me, pressing a hand on my good shoulder to keep me from falling back down. “You lost a lot of blood. You need to rest.”

“What time is it?” I asked, my voice rough and weak.

“Late afternoon,” she said. “You’ve been asleep for almost sixteen hours.” She helped me sit up carefully, propping me against the wall with gentle hands. “How do you feel?”

“Like I got hit by a truck,” I muttered.

She gave a small smile. “That’s about right.”

She moved to a small wooden table covered in jars and bottles. Her hands moved quickly and confidently as she worked. “Your wound’s healing faster than normal,” she said. “Your wolf’s helping. But your human side still feels all the pain.”

She poured something dark and steaming into a cup and handed it to me. “Drink this. It’ll help with the pain.”

I lifted it to my nose and sniffed. It smelled earthy and bitter, like crushed plants and dirt. “What is it?” I asked.

"Medicine," Lyra said. "Don’t worry, it won’t kill you. I’ve kept you alive this long, haven’t I?"

She had a point.

I took a sip and had to force myself not to spit it out. It tasted even worse than it smelled—bitter, thick, and awful, coating my tongue like something rotten.

"All of it," Lyra warned when I lowered the cup. "Unless you want to feel half-dead for the next week."

I forced it down, I swallowed it all, even though it tasted awful. Every single drop went down like poison, but I didn’t stop until the cup was empty.

When I finished, Lyra took the cup and replaced it with a bowl of something that actually smelled good, some kind of stew with chunks of meat and full of vegetables.

"Eat," she said. "But slowly. Your stomach’s been empty for too long."

I didn’t need to be told twice.

The first bite was heaven. Rich and savory and warm, a thousand times better than the cold scraps I used to get back at Bloodfang. I had to force myself to eat slowly, to remind myself not to devour it all at once.

Lyra watched me quietly, her sharp green eyes softening. "When was the last time you had a proper meal?"

I swallowed hard. "I don’t remember."

Something flickered in her gaze—anger, pity, maybe both. "Your pack didn’t feed you?"

"They did. Just... whatever was left after everyone else ate." I stared down at the bowl, heat creeping up my neck. "I was wolfless. I didn’t deserve more than scraps."

"That’s bullshit," she snapped.

I blinked, startled by how fiercely she said it.

"Every wolf deserves food. Shelter. Basic respect." She turned away, her movements sharp as she fussed with jars on the table. "Your Alpha was a cruel bastard. You’re better off without him."

The words shouldn’t have comforted me. They should have hurt, made me defensive.

But instead, they felt like permission—permission to finally be angry. To admit that what happened to me was wrong. That I didn’t deserve any of it.

"Thank you," I whispered.

She glanced back at me. "For what?"

"For saying that. For... not making me feel crazy."

Her face softened a little. “You’re not crazy, Selene. You were abused. There’s a big difference.”

The word hit me hard.

Abused.

I'd never thought of it that way before. To me It had just been life. The way things were. Normal.

But it wasn't normal, was it?

"Finish eating," Lyra said, her voice gentler now. "Then we'll change your bandages and get you cleaned up. You smell like blood, and that’s not a good mix when you’re surrounded by wolves.”

The camp looked completely different in daylight.

Less intimidating. More... alive.

Lyra walked beside me as I looked around, her calm presence making me feel that I wasn't alone. The camp was larger than I’d thought, tents and shelters spread across a clearing, smoke rising from several small fires. Weapons rested on racks. People moved around through the space with purpose.

A group of women sat near one fire, mending clothes and talking in low voices. Two men were sparring not far away, their movements fast and controlled. I even spotted kids running around, laughing and chasing each other through the trees.

It was strange seeing rogues act... normal. Happy, even.

And me? I just felt out of place.

“Stop overthinking,” Lyra muttered. “You belong here as much as anyone else.”

“Do I?” I asked quietly. “Everyone keeps staring.”

“Of course they are. You’re new. And you showed up covered in blood in the middle of the night. Give them time.”

As we walked past a fire, a few wolves eating there looked up. One woman with short black hair and a long scar across her cheek frowned when she saw me.

"That's her?" she asked Lyra. "The one Kael brought in?"

“Her name is Selene,” Lyra said, her tone sharp. “And yes.”

The woman studied me, suspicion clear in her eyes. “Where’d she come from?”

“Does it matter?” Lyra shot back.

“It does if she brought danger with her.”

My stomach turned. She wasn’t wrong to worry. The Council would definitely be looking for me.

“Relax, Maya,” another woman said gently. She was younger, maybe nineteen or twenty, with warm brown skin and soft eyes. “She looks like she’s been through enough. Give her a break.”

Maya gave a short laugh. “You’re too soft, Zara.”

"And you're too paranoid."

"Paranoia keeps us alive."

“So does kindness.” Zara got up and walked over to me, extending her hand. “I’m Zara. Don’t mind Maya, she doesn’t trust anyone at first, She's suspicious of everyone."

I hesitated before taking her hand. It was warm and steady.

“Selene,” I said quietly.

"Pretty name." She tilted her head, studying me. "You're from a pack, right? I can tell by the way you hold yourself. All tense, like you're waiting for someone to hit you."

I flinched.

Her face softened. “I didn’t mean that in a bad way. Sorry, that was rude.”

"It's okay," I lied.

"No, it's not. But for what it's worth—" she glanced back at the others around the fire, "—we've all been where you are. Lost. Scared. Trying to figure out how to survive without a pack structure. It gets easier with time."

"Does it?"

"Eventually." She said with a small. "Come on. Let me introduce you to some people who aren't grumpy as Maya."

Over the next hour, I met more wolves than I could keep track of.

There was Marcus and Finn, the brothers Kael had mentioned, both friendly in a rough, teasing way that reminded me they could probably snap me in half without effort.

There was Old Thomas, a gray-haired wolf who looked like he’d seen everything and found it all amusing.

There was Elena, a quiet woman with silver-streaked hair who watched everyone with sharp, assessing eyes but offered me a genuine smile when Zara introduced us.

And then there were the kids.

Three of them, maybe between five and ten years old. They stared at me with open curiosity, whispering to each other until the oldest, a bold little girl with messy curls stepped forward.

“Are you really a Shadow Wolf?” she asked.

The whole camp went silent.

I froze, my heart hammering. How did she—

"Mira," Elena said sharply. "That's rude."

"But Kael said—"

"Kael says a lot of things. Come here. Now."

Mira obeyed, though she didn’t look happy about it.

I could feel everyone’s eyes on me. Waiting. Wondering.

Zara cleared her throat. "So, uh. Want to help me with dinner prep? We could use an extra pair of hands."

It was an escape. A way out of the suddenly attention.

I took it gratefully.

Helping with dinner meant sitting by the fire, chopping vegetables while Zara and two other women—Nora and Beth—handled the meat and stirred a huge pot of stew.

It was simple work, but it felt good to do something.

They talked while they worked about who had night watch, whether the old shelter needed fixing, and if Marcus was actually flirting with Nora. she denied it, the others teased her

It was normal talk. Easy. Warm.

It reminded me of a pack but without the fear, without the constant reminder of rank or punishment.

It felt strange. Unfamiliar.

But... nice.

“So,” Beth said casually, still focused on her knife. “You’re from Bloodfang, right?”

I almost dropped what I was holding. “How did you—”

“Kael told us,” she said. “Said your Alpha rejected you.” Her voice softened. “That’s tough.”

“That’s one way to put it,” I muttered.

"Victor Hartley's a real piece of work," Nora added, stirring the pot. "Heard he's obsessed with maintaining his reputation. Probably couldn't stand the thought of a mate who didn't fit his perfect image."

Her words should’ve hurt.

Instead, they made me angry.

“He didn’t even give me a chance,” I said before I could stop myself. “The bond formed, and five minutes later, he was rejecting me in front of everyone.”

Silence.

Then Zara reached over and gave my hand a light squeeze. “His loss.”

“Exactly,” Beth said firmly. “Any Alpha who’d throw away his mate over his image doesn’t deserve one.”

“Besides,” Nora said, smiling a little, “you’re better off here. Packs are overrated anyway.”

I wanted to believe that.

God, I really wanted to.

By the time the sun began to set, I was exhausted. The medicine Lyra had given me was wearing off, and the ache in my shoulder had turned sharp and steady.

I was helping clean up after dinner when Kael appeared beside me.

“Hey,” he said quietly. “Got a minute?”

I nodded, grateful for an excuse to get away for a bit.

He led me to the edge of the clearing, where the forest was dark and still.

“How are you holding up?” he asked.

“I’m… okay, I guess. Everyone’s been nice. Nicer than I expected.”

“We’re not monsters, Selene. Just wolves who never fit anywhere else.” He leaned against a tree, watching me carefully. "I wanted to check in. Make sure you weren't overwhelmed."

"I am overwhelmed," I admitted. "But in a good way? Maybe? I don't know. Everything's so different here."

"Different how?"

"At Bloodfang, everything was about hierarchy, dominance, knowing your place and staying in it. But here..." I looked back toward the camp. "People just... talk. Help each other. It's like they actually care."

"We do care. That's how we survive." He was quiet for a moment. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Why didn't you fight back? At Bloodfang, I mean. You're clearly not weak, you're strong. I saw what you did to those hunters. So why did you let them treat you like you were nothing?"

The question hit hard

"Because I believed I was nothing," I said quietly. "I was wolfless. In a world where your wolf is everything, that made me worthless. And when everyone tells you that for eighteen years..." I swallowed hard. "Eventually you start to believe it."

"But you're not wolfless."

“I know that now,” I said. “But then, I didn’t. And even now, I still don’t understand what I am or how to control it.”

Kael straightened, his voice steady. “You’re a survivor. That’s what you are. And the rest, you’ll figure out. We’ll help you.”

"Why?" The word came out more desperate than I intended. "Why are you helping me?"

He was quiet for a long moment.

"Because someone once helped me,” he said finally. “After my pack was destroyed, I was alone. A rogue found me. She fed me, taught me to live again. Before she died, she made me promise I’d help someone else the same way.” He looked at me. “So that’s what I’m doing.”

Something in me cracked at his words.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

He gave a small, real smile. “Don’t thank me yet. Tomorrow, you start working. Training, chores the usual. Nobody gets a free pass here.”

“I wouldn’t expect one.”

“Good.” He pushed off the tree. “Get some sleep, Selene. Tomorrow’s going to be a long day.”

He walked away, leaving me alone in the darkness.

I stood there for a moment, breathing in the forest air, feeling the presence of my wolf stirring beneath my skin.

We're safe here, she murmured.

Are we?

For now. That's enough.

Maybe she was right.

Maybe for now, safe was enough.

I turned back toward the camp, watching the glow of the fires and the sound of laughter, where wolves laughed and talked.

And for the first time in my life, I thought maybe, just maybe I could belong somewhere.

I was halfway back to Lyra's shelter when I saw her.

A small figure standing near the edge of the firelight, watching me with wide, curious eyes.

Mira. The little girl who'd asked if I was a Shadow Wolf.

She shouldn’t have been out there alone. It was getting dark, and children were supposed to stay close to the fire cause the fires were the only safe place.

"Mira?" I called softly. "You should get back to—"

"Is it true?" she interrupted, her voice small but determined. "What they're saying about you?"

My stomach dropped. "What are they saying?"

"That you're cursed. That you'll bring death to everyone here." She took a step closer, and I could see tears glistening in her eyes. "My mama says Shadow Wolves killed her whole pack. That they're monsters who feed on fear and darkness."

The words hit me like a physical blow.

I opened my mouth to deny it, to tell her she was wrong that I wasn't a monster, that I'd never hurt anyone.

But the words wouldn't come.

Because I didn't know if they were true.

I didn't know what I was capable of. What the shadows inside me could do. What I might become.

Mira stared at me, waiting for an answer I couldn't give.

Then she turned and ran back towards the light

I stood there alone in the darkness, my hands trembling, and for the first time since arriving at the camp, I wondered if Kael had made a mistake bringing me here.

If maybe everyone would be safer if I just... disappeared.