11. FAKE IT UNTIL YOU ARE IT

I could feel myself twist and turn all through the night. I could feel the sweat collect on my skin as disgusting as it felt. I heard myself whimper and groan. I could mentally see myself fold into a ball to unfold over and over again. At some point the whole room was spinning and I felt as if I would vomit. I was stuck in this state where I was aware of what was happening but still unconscious.

It never ended, just going over and over until I thought I was stuck in a loop that would never break. My body turned during the night, feeling another body brush against my skin with my heart drumming harder. I truly thought I was dying, wanting to ask for help but no help came. I just drifted away into the darkness until my eyes painfully peeled opened.

My chest pushed up and down, sweat trickling down with me heaving hard. I was too weak to even shoot up, my hand running to my chest because I felt as if my heart would arrest. My eyes were wide open. I was not even in the right head space t