CHAPTER FIVE

The call with Mrs. Sanders was short and curt. She informed me of the plans she had put in action for the rest of the assets Sander had been able to salvage for me, made promises to call often to check in on me and more motivational words. She was going to hire an investigator to look into Andre and his family and once there was news, she was going to let me know.

All I had to do was survive and made sure that I prepared myself for the battle which was ahead. I had not prepared for this life. Yes, I had been aware that all the time I had with Andre was five years but I had hoped that I could make a change. And yet, when I saw that the change was not coming why had I not prepared at least? Why had I not made myself mentally, emotionally and financially ready to face my new life?

I scoffed at myself. I was pathetic. I was a loser and a sore one. I saw myself in this empty apartment, in the most backward neighborhood in this city and I could feel no empathy, no pity. I brought this up on myself, I allowed myself to be used and did not take any lessons home from all the hands I was dealt.

It was here that I made my decision to fight. I put my hand on my stomach, thinking of the new life I was bringing to this world. I could not let her or him suffer. I could not let them go through the pain and tears I went through. I vowed that I would fight, till the last drop of my blood, to make sure that my child was okay and they got what they deserved.

I will not wallow in the past and let depression wash over me. I had been doing so since I left Andre. Now it was time for me to change. I was twenty-four years old. I was not too old to start over, to redeem myself, to make sure that what happened in the past never repeated itself again. The journey was going to be a hard and miserable one but it was going to be worth it.

I got up from the ground where I had been seated and went downstairs. I still had a little money with me, enough to buy some things for the house.

There was a boy at the reception desk and he looked up when he heard me approach. He was not more than twenty years old.

“Hello.” I greeted, waving my arms.

He nodded. “Hi.”

I looked behind me. “Uhhh… I’m new? I just moved here. I was wondering if you could help me find someone?”

There was a note on his desk and he scribbled furiously into it. “Is the person in this apartment building?”

“Yes.” I answered hastily. “Mr. Delbert.” I answered.

He looked up and pursed his lip. “The building manager?”

I nodded.

“Right.” He pointed to a corridor behind him. “This way down, last door to your left. Just make sure you knock before entering.”

“Sure.” I murmured.

I followed the direction he pointed me in. The ‘corridor’ as he called it was a long and dark hallway with doors on each side of the walls and flickering light.

It gave off an eerie vibe and I shivered to my spine. I found the last office and knocked twice on it. No answer.

I knocked once. No answer.

“Lana?” I heard a voice behind me and jumped, turning around immediately.

Mr. Delbert looked like he had just come from using the convenience. His hands were tightening brown, leather belt his waist and his eyes glinted mischievously.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.” He chuckled and walked around me till he was in front of the door.

“Please, come in.” he said, pushing the door open.

The smell of old books, rust and damp earth hit me at the door. Mr. Delbert’s office was a small, unventilated cubicle, cramped with books and files.

A small rickety desk took almost all the space in the room and was almost falling itself from holding the weight of the thousand books which rested on it.

He took a seat on a swivel chair whose leather was completely torn off and all that was left of it was the browning foam and ushered me to a couch which seemed looked like he must have gotten it from the farmer’s market.

I sat gently, trying to avoid books and papers which were strewn across the couch.

“Don’t mind the way it’s looking.” He said, noticing as my eyes darted around the place.

I saw a cockroach in the corner of the room as it slipped into a hole. The ceiling was made with old cardboard paper and the white paint which had been used to coat it was now peeling off, revealing its brown layers. It was torn in some places and wet in others.

I turned to face him. “It’s no problem.” I smiled.

He returned my smile and folded his hand on his desk. I imagined that he crossed his legs too. “You wanted to see me?”

I bobbed my head, suddenly remembering why I had come down in the first place.

“It’s about the – ”

“Oh! The things for the house!” he exclaimed.

“Yes.” I nodded.

He got up from his seat and began to shuffle through a drawer I had not noticed.

“Alright. It’s this way.” He said, jingling the keys he had found in the drawer.

I followed him out of the cramped office and waited for him to lock it before we moved on.

We passed by the reception boy – whose name had skipped my mind to ask – up to the second floor till we got to the seventh. I was breathing hard and my legs were ached by the time we stopped.

Mr. Delbert seemed unfazed by our little trip and I was not surprised. He must be used to climbing up and down the twenty-two stories of the apartment building everyday.

He stopped at a door and unlocked it.

“Come in.” he said.

He went in first and I followed behind. The room was dusty and spiders had begun to build their webs around the room.

It was a one room apartment and it looked like the previous owner had left all their things behind; boxes up and covered in white linen.

“All these are for sale.” He said. “Look through it and pick what you want.”

I looked at him. “They’re secondhand?”

He looked at me as though he would chew off my head.

“They are.” He answered drily. “I’ll give you time. You know where to find me, right?”

I nodded.

He slipped out of the door almost immediately. My nose was itching from the dust in the air and I held back a sneeze.

I took off the linen. Perhaps, this was the best way to begin my new life. Managing myself and getting by with the little I have, there was no harm in it. Only growth.

I smiled as my eyes caught a bed and cradle amongst the items. Perhaps, luck was on my s