TOO GOOD TO LEAVE TOO BAD TO STAY

This was the expiration of our loveless marriage. A single document that clawed at my insides, prickled my intestines and made me feel like I would throw up my breakfast.I couldn’t believe five years had passed already since we were seated like this – Andre and I – before a lawyer, signing a prenuptial and then marriage certificates. At least Andre had been forthcoming then, he had smiled at me warmly, an action which made my heart flutter and convinced me we were doing the right thing, the best thing for me. He had pretended to be interested. Sending me flowers after flowers while he was at work, asking about my emotional and physical well being while he was at home. Making love to me like it was all he lived for. Those moments for me, had been the best moments of our marriage before he decided he was cheating on the memory of his first love by being with me. It had sounded ridiculous then as it did now, but it was the reality of my situation.Now, Andre could barely look me in t

Stepping into the house gives me an eerie feeling of déjà vu. Not much had changed since the last time I was here. Photos of Sanders and his wife in their younger years still hung on the wall just above the fireplace, beside a photo of their adopted daughter. I noticed a new photo on the wall. It must have been taken some months ago because it still looked so new; Sanders was lying in what I presumed to be a hospital bed and his wife sat beside him, smiling for the camera. I did not know Sanders had been sick so I looked to his wife and caught her wiping a tear from her eyes herself. “Make yourself at home.” She croaked and dashed into the kitchen. I did as she asked, settling into the settee that was before me. Mrs. Sanders was out in less than a minute and placed a cup of steaming coffee on the small table by my side. I picked the cup gingerly and brought it to my lips, basking in the scent of cocoa seeds. Once the coffee was into my system and I felt my head was clearer, I tu

The call with Mrs. Sanders was short and curt. She informed me of the plans she had put in action for the rest of the assets Sander had been able to salvage for me, made promises to call often to check in on me and more motivational words. She was going to hire an investigator to look into Andre and his family and once there was news, she was going to let me know.All I had to do was survive and made sure that I prepared myself for the battle which was ahead. I had not prepared for this life. Yes, I had been aware that all the time I had with Andre was five years but I had hoped that I could make a change. And yet, when I saw that the change was not coming why had I not prepared at least? Why had I not made myself mentally, emotionally and financially ready to face my new life?I scoffed at myself. I was pathetic. I was a loser and a sore one. I saw myself in this empty apartment, in the most backward neighborhood in this city and I could feel no empathy, no pity. I brought this up on

I smoothed down the blazer I borrowed from Paul, who ran the Laundromat, and took a deep breath as I stepped down from the bus in front of the towering structure of the conglomerate headquarters. I had been surprised as I received the invitation to attend an interview following my application, and the excitement still lingered within me. Darby had been smug, telling me ‘I told you to say’ at every slight opportunity she got. I buckled up and murmured a short prayer as I stepped into the bustling lobby of the conglomerate. A sense of determination filled me. I was here for a purpose. But as I navigated through the throng of moving bodies on the other side of the room, I felt doubt and fear begin to creep in. I had once belonged in this world of corporate affairs and custom-tailored suits, neatly ironed, but now I was not so sure. The past year has reshaped me into a completely different person. I approached the reception desk warmly and handed her the letter that I had received. Sh

Cameron had stayed with me longer than I expected. We went home and talked about our time in school, but we did not notice how much time flew by. I was grateful for his visit, even if at first I had dreaded it. But seeing a familiar face again after so long reminded me of my own existence. Once, I had a past that was not strewn with suffering. I had been a bit disappointed when Cameron announced that he should be leaving. It was almost as though I did not want the day to come to an end. Cameron had not judged me, not one. He had sympathised with me, and that was all. He had not thought me weak or hinted at my foolishness when I told him about how I gave everything up for love. Instead, he had called it the circle of life. Explaining that most people did worse things for the sake of love and only realised later how much they'd given up. “But that is how life is.” He had said: “We made mistakes so that we can learn from them and do better when presented with such a situation again.