TRAP

I've always felt like there was something missing in my life, I was alive but barely living. That is

how my life has always been and I couldn't do a single thing about it. Anyone would wonder why

a young successful woman like myself would be facing such a circumstance, the only thing

people see is the luxurious lifestyle, the expensive cars and special invitation to first class

gatherings.

They never see beyond that,they never see the girl who looks like she fits in but would rather be

anywhere else, not caring about their mindless Conversations Such life style was never my

thing, but i didn't have a say in the matter not when you have someone like my Mother She

brought me up to be the perfect girl for her standard, she practically choose all the schools i

attended right from my pre-school till the university i graduated from. I was like a character in

her book and she the author I just had to be that perfect daughter, even though sometimes it

gets overwhelming, I had to stay strong. After all "a woman of your class is never to show

weakness, It attracts the enemy" these are my mothers words when ever she feels am acting

weak.Wise words right.

I didn't have much friends because of her because who ever comes to my house for a visit I always pity them because it always seem like they came for an interview rather than visiting

their friend and then at the end of the day when she is done bombarding them with questions

she'll bring her wonderful conclusion. Chloe or whatever her name is, is not someone you

should move with she's not of your class but you should try going out more with tessy, she fits

your standard, rich and sophisticated.So with that attitude of hers, i stopped bringing friends

home, i just couldn't put anyone to such torture.

That's my life. What a life right?...like right now I was making my way from my office because my

said mother invited me for dinner, I always dread a meeting with her because whatever she

wanted to tell me wasn't going to be to my liking, either she has made an unarguable decision

for my life. I just hope it something i can live with, the woman has a way of blowing one's mind.

Making my way to my car, i got in and began driving to my mother's place lost in thoughts "i

wonder what it is she has to tell me this time"... I thought to myself. What could it be?

In about 30minutes I was already in front of my moms gate, driving in, I parked at my usual spot.

I stepped out of my car and made my way to the front door, when i pushed it open the house

was so quite...not like i expected it to be noisy, It my mother after all. walking further in...with the

sound of my heels the only sound being heard. I take a look around for the said woman but found

her no where.

"Mom", mom,...I called about five times before i finally heard her. "Odessa, how many times

have i told you never to yell around like one of those thugs on the street? hmm...you could have

just called me, that is what a device is for right...instead of yelling like a street girl with no

class"....she said.

"Well you invited me over all you could have done is welcome me" I replied back to her...besides

isn't that how women of class welcome their guest i added.

"You are no guest Odessa" was her simple reply...before walking away towards the dinning

room, she motion with her hands for me to follow. I follow her silently still deep in my thoughts of

what bomb she wants to drop.

On the dinning table is all kinds of food..as i see this i immediately lost my appetite, because it

looks like we were celebrating something...definitely not good, whatever she is about to tell me, I

was already sure I wasn't going to like it.

She sat on the head chair, while i sat on the chair besides her on her right. we both began to dig

into our meal silently...my mother does not tolerate talking during a meal and also even though

i've lost my appetite i dare not tell her "no am not hungry" words like that do not pass from my

lips, except i was ready for an ear full.

After a short moment of silently eating we both finish our food..and just sit basking in the silence

before my mom finally spoke..."let talk in the drawing room shall we"....it was more of a

command than a question because even if i don't want to I still have to, not like she left me a

choice.

So silently I followed her to the drawing room....I suddenly felt tense and the suspense was

killing me....knowing you will be told something but not have knowledge of what it is can be

nerve wrecking.

Reaching the drawing room she motion for me to sit down...I sat down then look towards my

mom's relaxed face..so it seems am the only one nervous in the room. how elevating.

"Odessa you'll be getting married to Coal soon, i just wanted to let you know so you can start

shopping for wedding gown and all that, besides his the right boy for you...hardworking, rich and

with class"....she blabbered...

Seriously i think i zoned out after i heard " You'll be getting married to Coal"....I don't think i

heard her well, my mother would not just talk about me getting married like we were taking a

work in the park, no way right....

I felt like my chest was being constricted, she could not be serious right..it all a joke and some

sick prank right...but looking up to my mother's emotionless face i knew this was no joke...Maria

Dawson didn't make silly jokes. She was looking at me like I was being dramatic, seriously.

No...i said it before i could stop myself. The shocked expression on her face was priceless "what

did you say" she asked..This time around my voice didn't quiver, i stood up and look her dead in

the eyes and told her " NO! never gonna happen"...her simple reply was "oh" like i was

challenging her and she was accepting the challenge.

I began...Mom i've had enough of you dictating my life for me...each step of the way in my life

was what you wanted never caring about if it was what i wanted, i don't get you, was this the life

you always wanted but couldn't get? am i living your dream for you? Is that it..because i don't

fucking understand...i heard her say something like " language young lady" but at this moment

i didn't care not even for a second... You can't take that decision from me.

The look in my mother's eyes was a question, her eyes clearly read "are you done being

dramatic "...seriously. God. I feel like hitting something.

"Odessa you will not shame me before my friends and highly esteem association, you'll marry

Coal and there's nothing you can do about it, it already final" she said.

This time i lost it, i was beyond mad, i was beyond furious, i was livid, the only thing i was seeing

was red.."IF YOU SO WANT TO GET MARRIED THEN GO AND MARRY COTH OR WHAT

THE FUCK YOU CALLED HIM BY YOURSELF...because i don't care anymore, do whatever

you wanna do but am not gonna be part of it.

Not giving her a chance to speak further, i took my things then stomped out of the drawing

room, then out of the house, i knew she was too sophisticated to yell my name and she also

believes i'll come back to my sense then come back to apologize to her, oh mother dearest you

know best and am sorry for arguing with you.Never.

I took my anger on my poor car door, i just couldn't calm down...who does she think she is? For

the fact that i've been quite all this time didn't mean i did not know what i was doing. This has

gone too far, does she think am or puppet or what, controlling my life like it belongs to her. The

audacity.

Driving away from her house, I just drove, i didn't have any particular destination in mind i just

wanted to be far away...away from the dictator of a mother. I just wanted to be in control of my

life, i wanted to be free. The only freedom i've ever experience was deciding to live on my

own...which she miraculously accepted after much argument, aside that i've just being a pawn in

her game.

I needed to free myself...maybe if I run away it will be better then i can get away from all

this...that is definitely a bad idea..."What happens next? running away doesn't get the problem

solved, maybe for a while you feel free but it still gonna be there"

So what am i gonna do? well i did what any emotional person in my state would do, continue

driving to know where in particular.