Prologue

CHAPTER SONG SUGGESTION _ SAM MYERS - I GOT THE BLUES

Mesi's POV 

LOVE.

PURPOSE.

PASSION.

DREAMS.

All things I had spent my life denying myself unknowingly.

I took a deep breath closing my eyes trying my best to calm the beating in my head as oceans of stress continued to wash away the peace that kept me afloat, leaving me to drown in waters of worry. 

My eyes opened once more as my gaze fell to the notebook filled with my poetry that was resting on the passenger seat of my car as I continued to debate between which one I would be using at the reading tonight. It was one of many passions but a doubtful mind had me pursuing other things since my family had beaten the idea of stability in me instead of dream chasing, which I appreciated while also resenting since it left me spending my twenties following a paper trail instead of my heart.

I opened the car door slowly, hoping to find a mental branch to hold onto as I stepped out allowing my shoes to greet the hard concrete, the cool night breeze immediately running against my skin leaving goosebumps to form.

I locked the car as I began making my way to the entrance of the club, my observant gaze not missing the multiple couples going about their day, the sight somewhat wounding me. It's not that I had anything against relationships, it's just that I watched every day as the people around me fell recklessly in love, each word of attraction and adoration serving as a sound of mockery to my yearning soul.

I had been in relationships before but they all ended much to my dismay, each one leaving me with a little less hope when it came to finding love. 

I had spent nights hoping and dreaming for someone to look past the scars on my skin to see my soul, rebuild my past to create a future, someone to love me despite my overthinking nature and tired heart that sometimes breaks itself apart to create a guard that blocks me from the many expectations I hold.

Someone whose love for me goes beyond physical attraction, a love that feeds my spirit, waters my soul, heals my heart, understands my emotions, understands me, and sometimes I wonder if I was dreaming of the impossible.

I stepped into the club, the aura changing completely as the sound of sweet blues echoed around the room pulling hearts and small movements from the crowd of people, the scent from a thousand different fragrances that mixed with the strong liquor and lit cigarettes approached my nose, abruptly greeting my sense of smell.

It was as if I was transported to the early 70s, the only difference being the attire of the people in the club. I glanced around the area gazing at different faces as conversation buzzed, nobody really pulling my attention but then again my attention was rather cheap when it came to paying.

For the first time tonight, my busy mind paused as it settled on the piece I would be performing and I knew my heart was the source of the suggestion.

I walked over to the bar deciding to grab a drink before I made my way onto the stage, eyes met me slowly and I ignored them knowing that stares were all they really could be since my facial expression screamed unapproachable, a skill no one but life could teach me.

"Same thing?" The bartender Al asked the minute I approached the bar and I nodded reaching into my jacket pocket as he bent slightly lifting a glass resting it on the counter.

"Performing tonight?" he questioned filling my glass and I nodded placing the money on the table as the feeling of a set of sharp eyes pierced into the side of my head.

"A song or a poem?"

"A poem," I replied lifting my glass taking a small sip directing my gaze to the source of the curious eyes that felt as if they never left me.

The owner of the pair of eyes had me gazing a bit longer than intended as she flashed me a smile which I returned before pulling away moving closer to the stage knowing I was up next. The exhaustion in my body from the heavy workload I had been attending to all week pulled a tired yawn from me.

I watched as the man exited the stage and I replaced him, placing my glass of liquor on the stool as I adjusted the mic to my height. The light shined on me and my insecurity was busy convincing my mind to shy away but my strong-willed confidence quickly shot down every plea as I cleared my throat.

"Goodnight everyone," I voiced earning replies as I gathered my words.

"The piece I have composed for tonight is titled Love and I hope you all enjoy it," I added earning a slight sound of applause and I knew they were all from regulars, people who had sat, stood and leaned against walls and watched me perform the words my soul had poured onto paper.

"Fall in love with the mind and soul and not the body, build a friendship to create a steady foundation instead of an image to please society. Love without restraint. Love unconditionally. Love for you. Don't mistake a few minutes of pleasure for love, don't mistake years for loyalty, and don't paint pain and heartbreak as a necessity in your relationship. Be with someone who inspires you to be better, be with someone who will love you for you, love you naked, love you unconditionally, love you with flaws, Love you because it is inevitable," I started gazing at the engaged minds, my each and every word running to the opening of their ear, hoping to inspire and capture their hearts.

"You should be a priority, you should be happy, the person you give your all to should never have you questioning your worth. Don't be afraid to ask for reassurance because it is only human nature to question things. Before you fall into someone, heal you, know you, love you, and Respect you. Learn that love without respect is not love and know that you are more than enough," I finished and loud applause sounded, I lifted my drink saying a small thank you as I moved off the stage, my forced confidence finally getting its chance to rest after the battle it had with my insecurity and doubtful mind.

I moved over to the bar, earning compliments on the way that I received with a small thank you and friendly smile. The glass met my awaiting lips as I down the liquid quickly enjoying the burn it left on the way down before placing the glass on the counter.

"Beautiful piece," a voice called out and I followed the sound looking to my right to see the woman from earlier standing with a small smile playing on her lips.

"Thank you," I replied my appreciative gaze falling to her beautiful locs that shined with glory.

"I didn't expect that from you," she confided.

"What did you expect?"

"More rugged words," she explained and I nodded amused, not really being able to put up a fight to her assumptions since my exterior image screamed nothing but that.

"I hope I didn't disappoint," I voiced and she smiled leaning against the counter.

"You didn't," she replied and I stood there meeting her curious gaze as my flirty nature awoke from its slumber.

"Can I buy you a drink?" I asked softly and she replied with a small smile.

"That's fine," she voiced and I was about to respond but the bottle meeting the counter had my words retreating as I looked over to see Al.

"Miss," he voiced and she replied with a small thank you lifting the bottle allowing him to walk away.

"It was nice talking to you," she dismissed walking away before I got a chance to offer my own goodbye, but I deemed it as fate since further interaction would probably just lead to another memory I pondered on with a feeling of regret and sadness in the depts of my soul.

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Thanks for reading ❤️‼️

Hope you enjoyed the chapter ❤️‼️