chapter 1

"Hello my baby! Good morning!"

I tickled my adorable baby to wake him up. It was already 7am and I was planning to take him to grocery shopping. Our fridge was empty with food, and only bottled waters and a frozen mango float were available.

He slowly opened his eyes and stared at me. Then in a second, he was smiling so wide that made me tickle him more. He was laughing and babbling as if he wanted to say something to me.

He got his blue eyes from his father. Anyone could tell that he was his father's son.

It was just very unfortunate that he would never see his father ever.

I looked at his eyes and even he could not speak yet I knew he recognized me and wanted to call me 'mommy'.

We got up from bed and we went to the bathroom so we could shower together.

He seemed to be very excited everytime he showered, because he liked playing the water in the tub. He liked to swim inside the tub. He seldom cried even if I had to cut his wonderful bath shortly.

I bought him a floating duck so he could play it on the water, but instead he kept on biting the head of the duck. He was very much attracted to its yellow color.

"C'mon baby. Time to get out!" I picked him up out from the tub.

I looked at him and he couldn't keep his eyes open, indicating that he was sleepy again. I wrapped him in his white baby towel, and it seemed like he loved the comfort of its warmth.

Now, I finally had my time to shower.

I stripped down naked and went to the bathroom. I looked at the mirror and traced my stretch marks with my fingers.

I did my bathroom routine quickly. I had to hurry because in a couple of minutes, my baby would wake up again.

Before I could wrapped myself with the robe, I heard a muffling sound from the bedroom. I went out and saw him trying to get away from the baby towel I had wrapped him and looked at me showing his tongue.

"Are you hungry now? Come to mommy!" I extended my arms to him and he seemed to very excited to be picked.

"Honey, you will accompany mommy to the grocery store Ok!"

As soon as he heard it, he babbled some words and clapped his little hands together.

After I fed him with my breastmilk and dressed him up, I put him back in the crib so he could play for a while and then I dressed myself quickly.

I was wearing my favorite bluish gray skinny jeans and topped it with a black fitted low neckline blouse.

I had my shoulder bag ready with all the things I woud need- wallet, coin purse, diapers, extra baby clothes, baby socks and towels, formulas, baby wipes, napkin, umbrella, my cellphone, etc.

I would say the bag contained 98% of baby things and the rest was mine.

I put on my flat shoes and picked the baby backpack sling. My baby was settling in my front and he was cutely giggling while I was strapping the slings tight.

"You ready?" I smiled to him and he raised his hands and flapped his legs showing that he was excited to go out now. We went outside the apartment and I hailed a taxi.

It was definitely a sunny day and the clouds didn't give any indication of possible change of weather. But with the climate change, nobody could predict anymore the sudden change of weather, so I always brought an umbrella everytime we went outside the house.

There was a light traffic since it was Saturday. I looked at my baby and he seemed to have fun watching the passing cars and other vehicles on the road. He mumbled baby words again and kept on flapping both his feet and hands.

"You love cars, don't you?" He was very much like him. His father loved to collect, remodel, and drive cars, mostly classics. He always took me with him everytime there were cars shows and when he wanted to drive and took me out of town.

Remembering those memories saddened me so much. It had been over a year now but I still couldn't let go of the memories with him. Especially everytime I looked at my son, I was always seeing him, his eyes, nose, mannerisms, everything about him has been inherited by my son.

I was able to conquer depression, so I had to survive for my baby.

When we reached the grocery store, I pulled a cart and my baby was jumping of excitement. I smiled at him and he beamed while trying to reach my face. I leaned down so he could my face and he kissed me above my lip.

"I love you baby!" And he mumbled an answer.

We gathered everything we needed and put them in the cart. He also played with the other customers who were very fond of him.

"He's very handsome." One customer said while we were at the milk station.

"Thank you!" I smiled at her while putting the boxes on the cart.

Once we reached the counter, I unloaded the groceries and the cashier looked at my son and she said 'hello' to him. My son smiled at her and she jiggled his hands.My baby was very friendly. He was never shy to other people.

While the cashier punched the groceries, I turned my head to the television at the north corner and saw him.