Its been a week since Dilan's funeral.
My eyes are swollen and I lost my appetite too.
Dilan promised me to visit the beach today, he promised that we will celebrate our monthsary here.
I looked upon the sky to prevent the tears from my eyes to crawl down from my lashes.
" Dilan, Baby? Are you listening? I missed you, I know I've done so many stupid things and I never told you how much you mean to me, how much I love you, I wish you knew how much it destroyed me when you left." I hurriedly wiped the tears on my eyes and laughed like stupid
I should not cry, Dilan will never be happy if he sees me crying.
The ocean is quiet, the smell of the fresh air and the coldness of the wind that makes my heart float from mid-air.
The sound of the waves that is splashing on the shore, the warm water from the ocean that gently touched my toes.
" I'm ready Dilan! "
" phew" I released a heavy sigh " this is it" I stood up and walked slowly near the shore.
Right now, I'm ready to give up to follow the one I love to follow the one who really owns me.
" Hey stop! Stop!" I heard someone shouted, but I don't care at all, right now all I need is to remove all the pain that I am feeling inside me, I need to end this suffering, I need to follow him, I love him.
" Hey what do you think you are doing, " the man wearing a black polo shirt said as he pulled me back to the shore
" I...I want to end this" I said and cried like a baby
" Hey bro, don't do that.. think of your family, friends," he said
I don't even know this person and why the heck is he invading my life.
I stared at him and I was shocked when I saw his face, am I dreaming? Is this real? What the hell?
"DI.DILAN?" I said while stuttering " is this a dream? Am I dreaming? " I asked continuously
" No, I'm Jordan," He said
God? If this is a dream please don't wake me up, or am I dead already? I'm seeing things
" HEY!" I returned from my senses when I felt a slap on my face
I gently rubbed my face " I..i'm not dreaming?" I said
" No you are not" he answered
" Hey! What's happening over there?" We both stared at the pretty lady running near us
"Sis, he almost drowned himself earlier," Jordan said
" Wait let me check," the girl said as she sat next to me and slapped my face slowly
" hey..buddy.. are you okay?" She asked
" Ye...Yes.. sorry" I answered as I tried standing up but I fall down again
Thank goodness Jordan immediately run and caught me.
They assisted me in the lobby and offered me water.
" What do you think you are doing earlier? By the way, my name is Kim, Jordan's sister" Kim said
I don't know if this is the right time to share this, and if she is the right person to share my story.
" It's fine if you can't say it," She said and tapped my back that caused my eyes to start from watering
" I want to die, I want to end my life," I said while sobbing
" Why?" she curiously whispered
I don't have a choice I need someone to share my burden.
" My boyfriend died, because of me" I blurted
" What do you mean?"
" Today is our 5th months, we promised each other to visit the beach to celebrate it, but, we encountered a car accident that... that" I can't continue my statement, I cried as an ocean
" You don't need yo say anything more, come here," Kim said and hugged me
" Cry, Let it all out, right now you are stabbed with millions of needles and the only thing you can do to remove the pain is to feel it at first and when you are ready you can start to remove it one at a time," She said and brushed my hair
" Here" we both started to Jordan offering a handkerchief
" You can have my brother," Kim laughed
" What!?" Jordan said
" Kidding, I just want to lighten the mood up," She said
" I'll just get some snacks, okay, Jordan stay with Dilan for the meantime," Kim said
" Everythings gonna be alright" Kim added before standing up
I felt secured when Jordan held my hands and pressed it gently.
Was that static? I felt the electricity.
This will be the longest and loneliest night I'll ever have.
I was about to stand up when Jordan pulled my hand and stopped me
" Where are you going?" He asked
" I already consumed too much your time I think I need to go to my room and take a rest," I said and smiled
" Are you sure that you are fine now?" He asked
" Uhmm." I nodded and smiled
I continued walking, I took a deep breath and tears started coming out from my lashes.
It hurts, I am hurt, my heart is aching and I don't know what I am going to do to ease these pains.
As I reached my room, I immediately went to the bathroom and opened the shower, the cold water from the shower splashed all over my body, I sat down and huddled myself in the corner, I let my tears fall down with the call water.
" Fuck!" I shouted while punching my chest
Dilan, Dilan, what am I going to do now? How am I going to pick myself up from the ground, how am I going to face this world, how am I going to live happily, I can't live without you
I continued crying until my eye gets tired, I went out of the bathroom and changed my clothes, I took the beers from the fridge and drank it continuously, I know that this won't help to resolve the pain and issue I am facing right now, but at least this will help me to sleep and forget the pain for the meantime, I believe that sleeping is the best way to escape from reality.
I'll rest now because tomorrow I will have another battle to fight.
Jordan pov"Yes, babe, I'm about to sleep now, yes. Sister Kim is with me" I answered and ended the call.Honestly, I really don't like Amanda, my current girlfriend, why? Because she's too clingy, she wanted me to update her, to give her every detail that I am doing, I looked like a bird inside a cage that doesn't have any freedom to make myself happy." Who's that?" My sister asked" Amanda, " I answered boringly." What's with that facial expression?" She stared at me while her hands are crossed on her chest" You know what Sis, it's better to put your hands on your waist, like this" I stood up from sitting and went on her direction and put her hands on her waist" And why? Do I look prettier on this position?" She asked while smiling"Of course not, that position is better for you to have a shap
JoashI woke up because of the rays of the sun hit my eyes.I gently stood up and sat on the edge of my bed, I took a deep breath and gently closed my eyes, I wore a fake smile on my face to cover the pains I am experiencing." You can do it Joash, " I said, cheering myself up.I stood up and went to the bathroom to take a bath, I was in that position when a sudden flashback appeared." My name is Jordan, "Fuck, I need to meet that guy again, I need to talk to him, I took a quick shower and hurriedly dressed my self, after fixing my self, I ran to the lobby and went to the house of Jordan." Hey, Kim, " I said and smiledKim, Jordan's sister stared at me, her eyes are swollen and red, she tried to smile but I can still see sadness through her eyes." Are you okay?" I askedShe took
JoashI stood up from sitting when Jordan came home.He stared to his sister and stared back to me."I'll go home now," I said"No, stay here, wait for me, I'll just change my clothes and come with me to the cemetery where you buried the body of my twin brother." He said" Wait, what? Twin brother? Do you mean Di-Dilan? Dilan is your twin brother?" I asked while shaking my head.That's why they looked like, I'm still confused right now, Dilan did not mention anything about this."Yes, he is my long lost twin brother, it's a long story, just wait for me here," He said and walked straight to his room" Sis, go change your clothes, we need to visit and pay respect to our brother!" Jordan said in a scary tone of voice.I glanced to Kim who is smiling.They both went inside there rooms wh
Josh PovI can feel how awkward Jordan is right now, He can't concentrate on eating because Liz keeps on staring at him." Hey, eat your food first," I said as I pinched Liz's leg." Ahh, sorry" She apologised" Jordan, I just want to ask something, if it's fine with you," She said" Yes, as long as it's not about my love life, it's fine" Jordan answered and smiled." When did you know that you had a twin brother?" Liz asked" Actually, just last night," He said" Huh? Why?"" Last night, Joash almost drowned himself on the beach, I helped him, I saw how scared he was," He said while staring at meI can feel my sweat flow down from my cheek." Wait, what, you did what?!" Liz asked me" I was stupid that time, I wanted to end my life be--" I'm not yet
JoshWhy did he come back? I thought he already went home, I look stunned when he walked near us, handed me a handkerchief and when he gave me his phone number, Wait, what? If I'm sad or having some problem he will come and help me? Am I dreaming?After the thing happened earlier, I went back to our apartment, as I opened the door the smell of Dilan's scent is still there, I sat on the couch."Hey, you're back?" I heard a voice."I missed you so much, I requested for an under time" I answered and gave him a peck on the cheek."Let's eat then, " Dilan saidMy eyes started to water again, these are the happy moments we had.Every area of this house has a lot of important memories.I stood up and went to the kitchen to get water."Stop drinking those, that is bad for your health" I shouted."
Josh POVI remember every time I woke up this early, breakfast is already ready on our dining table, coffee is served hot, my clothes to wear is also prepared, but now, I need to do it alone.After taking a bath I immediately dressed and walked out of the house, I don't have the appetite to eat.I took a cab and told the driver to drive our office.Along the way, I opened my phone and saw Jordan's Facebook post.Life said " You're gonna be happy" but first I will make you strong."I smiled, seeing Jordan this happy makes my heart flutter, it feels like I am seeing Dilan on him, but the more I see Jordan the more I feel the pain of being left alone by my boyfriend, I guess this is really not a good thing seeing him, talking to him, I need to have space for us.As I arrived at the office, I saw how shocked everyone, how they stared
JoashThat was cool, Dj Dee is really cool, I want to see him soon, I will bring Joash to him, I can feel that he can help Joash to be motivated, he's encouraging words can uplift and motivate Joash."Good Morning, Love" I was shocked when I saw Amanda sitting on my bed, I just came out from the bathroom."What are you doing here?" I asked while walking past her to get clothes." I want to have breakfast" She pouted" The food is downstairs, you go eat there," I said as I pointed the door."No, I want you to be my breakfast" She winked."What the hell?" I whispered"Why! We are lovers and besides, we haven't done that for almost forever" She said while walking near me.I don't know but I really don't want to be with this girl."S--stop it, Amanda," I said as I pushed her head.
Joash"Are you free today?" I sent a text message to Jordan, I am not really waiting for his response since I know that he is still busy working.I was about to put my phone back to my pocket when it rang.I answered it." Joash? Where are you, yes I am free today" He said?I can feel how excited he is based on the tone of his voice."Yes, I want to ask for a favour," I said"What's that?" He asked"Can you help me, can you be my doctor for the meantime? I need a person who will help me rebuild myself" I saidHe cleared his throat before speaking " Yes, why not, I'll definitely help you with that" He saidJoash: Let's meet later on my condominiumJordan: Okay, just send me the addressI sent my address to him after ending the call.After a