Tasting happiness

Blaine was staring at me. Then he placed his hand on top of mine, on his knee. 

His eyes said thank you, and I nodded.

He looked away, and I could feel the sadness begin to lift from him. So I was not surprised when he suddenly began to chuckle.

I turned to him, my lips lifting in a smile, even though I did not know what we were laughing at.

“You should have seen my brother’s face that one time I refused to do the right thing. I chose to be the black sheep, and he had no option but to pay for my choices, like I have always done for him.”

I smiled at him as he chuckled. I could imagine it. 

I stared at him till he stopped laughing, and his smile turned into a pained grimace. 

My spirits fell again.

“Fate did not let me get away with that though. It is the one action I would always regret the most in my life.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, and he shook his head.

“That does not mean I won't do it again when I get the chance,” he said, and this time the way he looked at me was different.

“I would claim and taste happiness even though everyone would expect otherwise from me.” He was still staring at me, and somehow I knew we were really talking about me now.

“Are you usually reckless, Ariel?” 

I shook my head. 

I would still not be a virgin if I were. 

“I knew it when I saw you. We both like to do what is expected of us. Propriety.” he said, and I suddenly realized I wanted to be wild for once. 

Not caring if this man dumped me after.

In fact, I would make sure he had no way to contact me after this night, so I would never have to confront the past. 

So I did the boldest thing I had ever done in my life, knowing the energy had changed between us, and that the room was filled with a sexual tension so strong it made my blood pound in my ears, 

knowing my hand was still on his knee, and I could feel his heat and the light tremor,

knowing he was aware of all I was feeling because his hand was right on top of mine, I knew all this when I said,

“I will never see you after tonight.”

“No, you won’t,” Blaine said, and drew close to me. But he still did not touch me, he was staring deeply into my eyes, searchingly. 

I blushed, and my neck burned, but I did not look away.

He took his hand off mine, and gently pulled my hair tie off, and my curly brown hair fell around my face. He smiled, still watching me.

My whole body was shaking with anticipation now. 

I had only kissed a boy once, and it had been a stolen kiss. 

But I knew all the pleasures to expect from good sex, when it was with a man who had wise eyes like Blaine, and it was in a circumstance like ours where the attraction was strong.

I knew all the unbelievable things my body would feel, thanks to all the romance books I read even though I was an engineering student.

“You’re stunning,” Blaine said, his face so close to mine now. 

I heard that all the time, but there was a way he said it, so casually, so matter-of-factly, that made me believe him. 

I should have probably told him he was the most handsome man I had ever met physically, but I couldn’t. I did not have such courage back then.

He brought his nose close, and lightly teased mine with the tip. 

The sensation was new, foreign, but it was the headiest feeling I had ever experienced, and my mouth slackened in a half gasp. 

It seemed that had been exactly what Blaine had been expecting. He lightly trapped my bottom lip between his and sucked. 

I suddenly felt like I no longer had a single bone in my body. 

I could no longer support my body, and was slowly falling back when Blaine wrapped his hand around my waist. 

I gasped, and he deepened his kiss from the access, running his tongue over mine.

My body shook once, and he pulled me close, his body heat burning into me.

I wanted more. 

I raised both my hands and wrapped them around him, pulling him closer to myself. 

He smiled into my lips, and pulled me up and closer till I was sitting on his lap, both of us still on the floor.

“You are exciting.” He drew back to whisper, his eyes bright. I again did not know what to say to that. 

He smiled, and pressed his lips against my neck.

I gasped, the shock traveling round my body. I started to feel moist and could suddenly smell the musk. I suspect he smelled this because he became feral.

“Ariel,” he whispered urgently. 

Usually, I loved the sound of my name on his lips, but now, hearing him say it like that, gasping like he had just sampled a gourmet bursting with flavor, made my blood run hot.

I wanted more of him now. All his touches so far had short-circuited my brain. But it was suddenly not enough anymore.

Maybe he guessed this, or maybe he wanted to do it anyway, because at that moment, his hand landed on my thigh.

I inhaled, and he began to trace my thighs up, his fingers gliding so smoothly on my skin that I always took extra time to oil because of my ashy undertones,

He moaned deep in his throat, possibly at the feel of my skin. 

My legs were trembling. 

I knew the destination of that traveling hand and I suddenly could not breathe anymore. 

When his finger grazed the fabric of my underwear, my eyes flew open.

He was staring right at me. Looking into his gray eyes seemed to make every sensation even more intense. 

My mouth was slack as I watched him, my nose suddenly too useless to breath as I felt him part my underwear to the side like a curtain and his finger grazed the puffy lips now swollen with lust and pulsing with need.

He inhaled deeply, and I blushed, almost turning away.

“No.” His voice was strong, commanding, but his eyes were soft and gentle. “Keep your eyes on mine. I want you to have a clear memory of what happiness tastes like.”

Then his fingers were in me. 

I buckled and hunched forward, his name a scream on my lips.