Chapter 1

Luka

For the first time in all of my eighteen years, I felt lucky. Well, technically, seventeen years and 364 days, but who was counting?

It wouldn’t just be another birthday, but a rebirth. Age eighteen is when a shifter can find a mate. Which, for me, meant leaving the bullying, abusive hell that had been my fate for as long as I could remember.

Alpha Declan's footsteps drew closer and closer to the kitchen, heightening my fear as he got closer to the kitchen. I moved faster, knowing if I didn't go quickly in making his soup, I'd pay for it.

It was so rare for me to be in a good mood, and this monster ruined it. Still, I let myself have hope: I'd find my mate tomorrow on my 18th birthday, and I could leave this horrible, painful life.

At that moment, Declan’s rage was clear from his steps and the shaking down the stairs. I just focused on the food I was cooking in front of me and thought about the fact that tomorrow it would all be over.

Alpha Declan entered the kitchen, and, as usual, I was frozen in terror, unable to speak. I anticipated his cruel words with dread. I was sure he’d call me a bitch. He called me that so often, it was like his nickname for me.

If I imagined in advance which awful names he’d probably call me, it felt a little less like a knife when his hateful tirade came out. And sure enough, Declan cursed in his mocking, seething voice: “You bitch.”

That was my life as the only foreign wolf in a pack that had rejected me: living in fear of the alpha of the pack, who hated me. Mine was the life of an orphan, adopted as spoils, not a person. The only life I’d known, one I’d never wish on anyone.

I looked at him and continued stirring the massive, steaming pot of soup, then got out a serving bowl and spoon from the cupboard.

“Stealing food from the pack?” Declan roared. His cruel eyes burned with contempt as he loomed over me. “Bitch. You’ll starve the entire pack with your gluttony.”

I could feel Nela, my wolf, getting her hackles up. The closer I got to my eighteenth birthday, the more often she surfaced. With one day left, she was practically howling.

Shh, Keep calm, Nela, I told my wolf silently. Just a few more hours.

“No, sir, of course not. I would never take anything. You’ve been so kind.” I picked up the ladle and soup bowl to show him. “I was about to serve you.”

Declan’s huge muscles rippled through his vest as he examined the pot. “Don’t lie, mongrel.”

He grabbed the steaming pot and snarled, followed by a maniacal sneer as he angled the pot forward. A drop sizzled on the tile.

No, don’t dump it. I don’t have time to cook again.

His expression turned stony as he righted the pot.

Oh, good. He’s not pouring it on the floor.

A searing agony ignited my hands and arms. Pain screamed through my body, knocking me down. The empty pot clattered, and I clawed my way to my feet despite the pain in my hands.

I couldn’t believe I didn’t see this coming, considering how often it had happened before.

“This is what you deserve when your grubby hands steal from the pack.” Declan’s powerful hands gripped my flayed skin.

I grimaced and stayed silent, while Nela burned red hot. I was still getting used to my heightened senses whenever she surfaced.

I blinked back tears. I tried to pivot to the sink, dying to run cool water over my hands. Declan blocked the way to the faucet.

“No! Not until you clean this mess, you selfish cow. This is no time to rest.” He threw my hands back at me and started to leave, then turned. “I expect you to prepare my lunch as fast as possible. Just because you ruined the first one is no excuse.”

I cowered and bowed my head. “My apologies, sir. I’ll do it at once.”

“Oh, yes, you will.”

When the upstairs door slammed shut, I leapt for the tap.

In a way, the worse my day got, the better it became, because every misery made the future seem sweeter.

“Well, this might wind up being the happiest day of my life,” I mused. “I know exactly what I won’t be missing.”

I cleaned up and cooked Declan’s new lunch in a half hour, with enough time to eat a slice of bread. As an early birthday treat, I used some butter.

“Time to fold the clothes and put them away…” I chanted, keeping myself on track.

Folding the clothes I imagined I was in a home of my own, not in the dank red-bricked laundry room. I didn’t even need a mansion like the pack manor, just a little cottage, something cozy. Something mine. Something ours.

I spun around, holding out clothes like I was dancing with my mate. I didn’t see Declan standing in the doorway.

With a thud, I slammed into him.

“Clumsy fool!” Declan shoved me like a freight train to the concrete floor. When my head hit the brick doorframe, I saw double.

“Hurry with my clothes, you swine. You have ten minutes. Otherwise, no dinner.”

For good measure, Declan kicked me in the ribs. I knew from experience they were broken. Every breath gouged me like an eagle’s talon.

I felt Nela rise up, maybe because my body was too weak to operate myself. Even with my wolf taking the reins, I could barely move.

“You’re blocking the doorway! Move.” Declan lifted his foot and stomped on my right hand.

“Yes, sir,” I croaked, sweating, exhaling daggers.

Declan shunted me aside with his foot like a door stop.

“Nine minutes now. You waste time and space.”

The cement felt cold against my cheek as Declan’s footsteps grew faint.

“You can do this, Luka Shaw.”

Reserves of shifter strength barreled through me. No matter how much abuse I took, they wouldn’t take my spirit. Not even on my last day.

The fresh-laundry smell and visions of my new life kept me going. I hobbled up the stairs toward the filigreed oak door of the alpha suite, then placed the basket at the foot of the bed, draped in velvet and tasseled pillows.

I was almost disappointed Declan wasn’t there, to see the shocked look on his face.

Almost. Any time without Declan is time well spent.

Every new task that day gave me life, because tomorrow was closer. Shoveling manure in the stables, polishing silver, preparing the dinner, serving the pack.

After I was done, Declan gave the nod to take my leave, the closest thing to a compliment. I heard echoes of Declan’s toadies sucking up to him by taking aim at his favorite punching bag: me.

“How can you tolerate her?” one asked.

“I hold my nose a lot,” Declan answered, getting guffaws in response.

I didn’t care. The insult was one more war wound, a badge of honor. From my busted head to my swollen feet, they were proof I had survived.

I dragged myself to the utility room, which Declan said was too good for me to have as a bedroom; I should be outside with the horses. But that night, my pile of clothes was grander than a feather mattress in a five-star hotel.

There was no closet, just a hole in the wall where a family of mice lived. I gave them cheese sometimes. I understood feeling like a different species.

The moon was high, closing in on midnight. Tired as I was, I couldn’t sleep. Nela called to me, her presence getting bolder.

The mice’s footsteps echoed like cannons. If I listened hard, I could hear their heartbeat. But their smell had changed. It was intoxicating.

Not mice, Nela murmured. Not anything you’ve felt. Your destiny. Our destiny.

“What is?”

Follow, she said, like a sorceress. Nela grew stronger, more willful, wild, and pulled me along.

The scent you’ve waited for. The scent to set you free.

The smell was outside the utility room. I was forbidden from roaming the manor unless summoned, but I couldn’t fight it.

I’ll tell my mate one day, I rationalized, if I got caught. About the last beating I took on the first day of my life with him.

Nela ran as if on the hunt by moonlight. I didn’t use my eyes, just the million other senses drawing me to what I’d always been preparing for.

My body felt no pain. My feet had no resistance, like I had wings. Nela and I were facing the filigreed oak door, the one for the alpha suite, and I felt sick to my stomach.

Behind that door, Nela sang. Luka, can you sense it? It’s him. Our mate. The one.

No. Please, no. It can’t be. I squeezed my degloved hand, hoping I’d wake up.

Just on the other side, Nela whispered.

It was a nightmare, but I was awake. We were at Declan’s door.

It’s our mate, Luka. In there.