ログインEsteria
I didn't know what it felt like to have a wolf and I had spent my entire life wondering. People said their wolves spoke to them. Warned them of danger. Recognized people and things their human side couldn't understand. Sometimes, I desperately wished I could experience that feeling too, especially now. Because there was a man standing several feet away from me in the middle of the dark forest. And something about him was doing strange things to my body. He wasn't a rogue. I was certain of that because no rogue dressed like this. A long trench coat covered the dark suit underneath, and although both were soaked by the heavy rain, his clothes still looked expensive. More importantly, there was something about the way he stood. There was power and authority in it. The kind of presence I had only seen from powerful Alphas. I didn't know who he was, but he definitely wasn't an ordinary wolf. Another flash of lightning crossed the sky. For a second, I caught a better glimpse of him. Broad shoulders. Dark wet hair. A strong face I still couldn't see clearly enough. He looked shocked, not frightened, like seeing me standing here had somehow changed something. My heartbeat quickened. I didn't know this man. Whatever had brought him into this forest had nothing to do with me so I should leave before I create another problem for myself tonight. I turned to leave but his deep, rough and commanding voice stopped me. “Stay.” My feet actually stopped before my mind decided whether I wanted them to. I swallowed. Then his voice came again. But it was softer this time. “Please. Don't go.” Something tightened inside my chest, and I looked back. He was already approaching me, slowly. Rain ran down his face and coat as he came closer, and I caught the faint scent of his cologne beneath the wet earth around us. Expensive. Of course. Whoever this man was, he had money and power. He stopped directly in front of me and I lifted my head to see him. But I still couldn't see his face properly in the darkness, but I could tell enough that he was handsome. His eyes moved over my face like he couldn't believe I was real. Then his hand lifted, and I tensed instinctively. He seemed to notice. His fingers stopped before touching me, and that surprised me. A man who looked powerful enough to take whatever he wanted was waiting for my permission. I didn't move away. Slowly, his fingertips touched my cheek, and a strange warmth traveled through me. I sucked in a breath. The feeling was similar to what I had felt beneath my skin before he appeared. His thumb moved gently across my cheek, and then, he spoke. “Mine.” The word came out almost like a whisper, and I frowned slightly. Mine? Before I could think about what he meant, he stepped closer. His other hand settled carefully against my waist. “Mine.” He repeated again. This time there was something different in his voice. Relief. Happiness. Pain. All mixed together. I didn't understand him. But strangely, I could feel something. His emotion. It shouldn't have been possible considering the fact that I didn't have a wolf. Yet when he looked at me, I felt the weight of something he had carried for a very long time. His forehead almost touched mine. “I waited so long.” My throat tightened immediately. ‘Waited for me? That couldn't be right, considering the fact that he didn't even know me. Maybe he had mistaken me for someone else. I should have corrected him. Instead, I remembered Cassiel and Dorah. I remembered how I met them and also the rejection. I remembered standing beneath this same rain only minutes ago and begging the Moon Goddess for one good thing. One night without pain. And now a handsome stranger was standing before me, looking at me like I was the most precious thing he had ever found. Then I smiled. Maybe I shouldn't question it. Thunder rumbled across the sky, and I shivered. His arm immediately tightened around me, protectively. My chest hurts. Nobody had held me like this in a very long time. Not with this much care. Not like losing me would matter. I looked at his mouth. Then back toward his eyes. I knew I should leave. Instead, I moved closer, and his breathing changed. His hand remained still against my waist. He was waiting. That alone gave me the courage I needed. I reached up, curled my fingers into the front of his wet shirt and kissed him. For one second, he didn't move. Then a low sound left his throat. His arms wrapped around me. And the kiss changed immediately. It turned deeper and hungrier. Yet even with all that strength, he didn't frighten me. I didn't know what was happening to me because this wasn't who I was. I had waited for Cassiel for three years because I wanted my first time to mean something. And now Cassiel had given himself to Dorah before we could even complete our chosen bond. Why was I still protecting something for a man who had already thrown me away? The stranger pulled back. His breathing was rough. “Mine.” I almost laughed this time. He really liked that word. But I didn't ask him to explain. Tonight, I didn't want explanations. I had already heard enough of them. I just wanted to feel something other than heartbreak. So I touched his face, and he became completely still. For such a powerful man, he reacted to my touch like it meant everything. That did something to me. Maybe the Goddess really had heard me. Maybe this stranger was the one good thing I asked for tonight. I needed to forget. He kept calling me his, while his hands found my skin under my wet clothes. Goosebumps ran down my arms. Something low in my stomach flipped. “I have waited for you all these years,” he said against my mouth. “And now I finally found you. You are mine. Mine alone.” Tears slid down my cheeks. I didn’t know this man. And I am certain he has mistaken me for someone else. But why did I feel his pain like it was mine? He held my face like I was the most important thing he had ever touched. For a moment I felt wanted, so I stopped thinking and started feeling. Tonight nothing else mattered. If he had the wrong woman, I didn’t care. For once, I became selfish, I wanted to be loved, I wanted to be touched—I wanted to feel something that wasn’t betrayal. “Take me,” I whispered. “I’m yours.”.I didn’t plan the words, they just came out. “Mine.”That was all he said. In a minute, our clothes hit the wet grass. The cold rain hit our bare skin. His coat. My dress. Everything. Before I knew it, his head was between my thighs, his tongue went inside me and my breath stopped. A loud sound tore out of my throat. I grabbed his head without thinking. It felt good. So good. He didn’t stop. He licked me like he was hungry for it. My hips shook. Then a sudden heat rushed out of me and he drank all of it. I was still shaking when he pushed inside me. The stretch left me breathless. It hurt at first. A sharp stretch I had never felt. Dorah had tried to tell me, but words were nothing next to this. He filled me slowly and deep until I gasped into his mouth. “Fuck. You’re tight.” His voice broke. “Mine.” His mouth found my breast. He sucked hard while he moved, and the pain turned into something like pleasure. I could hear how slick I was every time he drew back and drove in again. I cried and I didn’t know if it was from the stretch or the way he kept saying mine like a prayer. He groaned against my skin. “Thank you, Goddess. She’s mine.” “Yes,” I breathed. “I’m yours. Take me.” How I wish he understood the pain behind my words. But I want to forget all that tonight. My stomach tightened. Another heat rushed down and spilled around him. I clenched and he cursed, grabbing my hip harder. He didn’t stop. He turned me onto my side on the wet ground. He lifted my thigh, and pushed back in from behind, and it was deeper this time. I felt every inch of him. His chest pressed to my shoulder. His hand found my breast again and squeezed. I didn’t understand half the positions. I only knew I didn’t want him to stop. He took me on my back again. Then on my knees in the grass. His hand in my hair. Him, sliding in and out of me with wet, filthy sounds I should have been ashamed of. “Say it,” he growled against my ear. “I’m yours.” He slammed in harder. I came again with a stranger’s claim stuck in my throat. He followed with a groan that sounded almost like pain, and finally, he finished inside me. When it finally ended, he lay beside me on the soaked ground. His chest rising and falling, already sinking into sleep. I looked at him. There was still something I couldn’t name. Something that made my wolf-less chest ache. I thought about waking him. Asking who he thought I was. But I didn’t. Sleep claimed my eyes. *** When I opened my eyes, I was lying beside him beneath a large tree. His chest rose and fell slowly. He was asleep. Deeply asleep. I studied him quietly. Even now, I couldn't understand why something about him felt like mine. My fingers almost reached for his face, but I stopped myself. What was I doing? I had just spent the night with a complete stranger in a forest. And that was hours after discovering my boyfriend with my best friend. The entire night, this man kept calling me his. Why? Maybe when daylight came and he could see me properly, he would realize his mistake. My stomach tightened. No. I couldn't stay for that. I had already watched one man realize another woman mattered more than me. I couldn't wake beside this stranger and watch the same disappointment appear on his face. Not again. I carefully moved away from him. Something inside me resisted immediately, asking me to stay. What was that? I pressed a hand against my chest. But nothing. Of course there was nothing. After all, I didn't have a wolf. Whatever I was feeling was probably because of everything that happened tonight. I gathered my clothes and dressed quickly. A powerful man sleeping this deeply in an open forest? Maybe he trusted me. That thought almost made me stay. But I pulled my jacket around myself and looked down at him one final time. I didn't know his name. He didn't know mine. Maybe that was better. “Thank you,” I whispered. For making me feel wanted. Even if it was only for one night. Then I turned away. I disappeared through the trees before morning could show either of us the mistake we have made.Elliott Esteria stopped at the edge of the clearing and looked back at me. “What if I can't do it?” “Then we come back another day.” Tamara gave a small nod beside us. “Nothing about today changes because we have chosen a place to try.” Nearly two weeks passed after Maya's first words before Tamara agreed Esteria was ready. There were more examinations, several short treatments and evenings when my wife became quiet because she was learning how to listen to someone besides me. I didn't mind losing those conversations. Not when she looked so happy afterward. Now she stood in the sheltered clearing with her hair braided back, wearing loose trousers beneath her coat. Her green eyes moved toward the trees, then returned to mine. “Maya wants to run.” “So does Setra.” ‘Very much,’ he added. Tamara looked between us. “They can both remember that this is her first time.” I decided not to repeat Setra's answer. Damon's guards secured the paths beyond the clearing. No one stood c
Esteria I was afraid to move. The voice was still there, warm and clear inside my mind, and I couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry. ‘Please say something again.’ A gentle feeling moved through me. ‘I've been waiting to do that for a very long time.’ I covered my mouth. Elliott shifted closer. “Esteria?” I looked at him, then at Tamara. Both were watching me carefully. “I heard her.” My husband's hand tightened around mine. “Your wolf?” I nodded, and the tears came before I could explain anything else. Tamara set the closed charm on the table. “Take your time.” I tried. My breathing shook anyway. For years, I listened to people speak about their wolves. Sometimes they became quiet in the middle of a conversation, then smiled at something only they could hear. I used to wonder what it would feel like to have someone inside me who belonged there. Now I understand. ‘What's your name?’ ‘Maya.’ I repeated it aloud. Elliott's expression changed. “Maya?” “That's her na
Esteria Elliott looked down at the milk on his shirt. I tried not to laugh. “Don't,” he warned. “I didn't say anything.” “You're thinking loudly.” Evren moved against his chest, completely unconcerned about the damage. Elliott adjusted the cloth over his shoulder and rubbed our son's back while I settled Orien more comfortably for his feed. We sat together on the nursery rug, with cushions behind me and a basket of clean clothes close enough to reach. I could finally sit there comfortably. Getting up still required more planning than I liked. The room looked very different from the suite I first moved into. There were small beds along the walls, shelves of folded clothes and bottles waiting beside the feeding chairs. Nessa was humming near the window while another nanny changed Lucien. Maren moved between them, speaking quietly. Nothing stayed tidy for long. I loved it. “You could change,” I told Elliott. “He just settled.” “There are other shirts.” “There is only one E
Elliott I checked the nursery door twice before Esteria caught my hand. “They're still there.” “I know.” “Then come to bed.” Five weeks after their birth, all seven of our sons were finally home. Some were ready before others, and Tamara refused to let our impatience decide when the last two could leave the clinic. I agreed with her. That didn't make the wait easy. Now their room was beside ours, and I kept finding reasons to look inside. Esteria wore a pale blue nightdress, her dark-brown hair falling loosely down her back. She looked tired, but there was a smile on her face as she pulled me toward the bed. “Maren said she would call if she needed us.” “I heard her.” “And you told her twice that we were right next door.” “It's useful information.” She laughed and reached up to kiss me. I was still holding her when a cry came through the baby monitor on the bedside table. We looked at each other. Then we both moved. The nursery door was partly open. I stepped through fi
Selianna Grandmother read the announcement twice before passing me her phone. “Seven,” she said, her brown eyes shining. “The poor girl must be exhausted.” I looked at the screen. There was no photograph. Only the royal crest, a short announcement and seven names beneath it. Auren. Cassian. Orien. Lucien. Erion. Evren. Cealin. I read them slowly, hoping I misunderstood something. Seven sons. Esteria had given Elliott seven sons. My wolf stirred angrily beneath my control, and I pressed my feet against the floor until the urge to throw the phone passed. “Isn't it wonderful?” Grandmother asked. “Yes.” She reached for her reading glasses, then remembered she was wearing them. That was how pleased she was. “I must speak to Corvian. He said he intended to visit once they allowed him.” I handed the phone back carefully. “Will there be a celebration?” “Eventually, I imagine. For now, let them recover.” She was already standing. Her silver-white braid rested against the back
Elliott “Lower your shoulder, Your Majesty.” I looked at Maren. “Which one?” “The one you've been holding beside your ear.” Esteria laughed, then pressed a hand carefully against her stomach. I lowered my shoulder while Maren Hale adjusted the support beneath the baby in my arms. The head nanny had dark hair threaded with gray and warm brown eyes that missed very little. We chose her weeks before the birth, but I was only beginning to understand how useful her calmness would become. “He's comfortable,” she assured me. “You can be too.” Cassian moved his mouth, searching against the cloth near his cheek. I looked toward the nurse immediately. “Is he hungry again?” “She's checking his next feed,” Maren said. “For now, you may keep holding him.” It was our third morning in the clinic. The boys remained under close observation, and their needs weren't identical. Some required more help with feeding than others. Tamara made it clear that we would follow their progress individual







