Chapter Nine

Kian’s POV

The moment the door clicked shut behind me, my legs gave out. I slid down the wood until I hit the floor, chest heaving like I’d just run a marathon, fingers trembling as I fumbled with the lock. Click. Deadbolt turned. Chain slid into place. ‘Safe. I was safe..’ I chanted to myself until the words are now ingrained to my system. Effectively gaslighting myself so that I won't panic.

I dragged myself to my feet and stumbled to the small desk by the window, yanking open the bottom drawer. There it was — the small, insulated case, sitting there like a ticking time bomb. My hands shook as I unclasped it. Inside lay the last dose. Just one. Clear liquid in a small glass vial, waiting. My father’s black-market supply, expensive, impossible to replace around here, and running terrifyingly low. Sooner or later, I either have to call him and suck up all his scoldings and beatings or… go to a doctor here. I already know what they’ll say though.

I looked at the last freaking vial and didn’t hesitate. I pulled up the sleeve of my hoodie, swabbed the crook of my arm, and pushed the plunger home. It stung, sharp and cold, and I hissed through my teeth. Then I slumped back into the chair, waiting.

It hit fast — a heavy, dragging exhaustion that pulled me under before I could even make it to the bed. I barely remembered dragging myself onto the mattress before the world blurred into nothingness.

—-----

Two days. That’s how long it took to come around. Two days of drifting in and out of sleep, body aching, limbs feeling like lead, mouth tasting of stale air and regret. The suppressor worked — it always did — but the price was this: days of feeling like I’d been hollowed out. My body fought every single dose, screaming at me to stop, to let it happen, to let myself be what I was. But I couldn’t. I just… couldn’t.

So instead, I passed out.

When I finally woke up properly, sunlight was slanting through the curtains, and my phone screen told me it had been forty-eight hours since I’d stepped inside. My stomach rumbled so loud it echoed. Thank god I’d thought ahead. I’d stocked the tiny freezer with frozen meals and bottled water before I’d even started this whole thing — a desperate little safety net I hadn’t been sure I’d actually need. I ate slowly, sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the wall.

Three days.

I pulled up the calendar on my phone, and my stomach dropped right through the floor. Classes started in three days. Three days!!! Which meant I also had exactly that long to move everything over to the school dorms. My lease here ended the day after tomorrow, and I couldn’t exactly live on the streets as I need to be frugal since I can't just withdraw money or else my father would know my location earlier than intended..

Panic flared hot in my chest, sharp and tight. Three days. I haven’t packed. I haven’t bought supplies. I haven’t done anything but hide in this room like a prisoner. 

And on top of it all — the pheromones. I pressed a hand to my neck, right over the fresh patch. It felt thin. Inadequate. The injection had dampened things down, but it hadn’t fully stopped them yet since it takes time. 

I could feel it — faint, constant leakage, like water seeping through a cracked dam. Not enough for most people to notice, maybe. But enough that every single alpha within ten feet felt like a potential threat.

“I can do this,” I whispered to the empty room. My voice sounded thin and shaky. “Just go out, get what you need, come back. In and out. Easy.”

I waited until late morning, when the shops would be busy and crowded and nobody would pay me any mind. Hopefully they’ll just think I’m an omega going through his day quietly.. 

I dressed in my thickest hoodie, pulled the sleeves down past my wrists, kept my head low, and stepped out.

The air hit me — fresh, cool, alive — and I took a shaky breath.

First stop: the stationery shop. Not the campus one — too many people I might know. I found one downtown instead, a little place tucked between a café and a laundromat. I grabbed notebooks, pens, sketchpads, charcoal, a new portfolio folder, all while keeping my eyes strictly on the shelves, never making eye contact. The clerk didn’t even ask for my name. Perfect.

Then the grocery store. More frozen meals, water, bread, fruit — quick things that didn’t need cooking. I kept to the outer aisles, moved fast, kept my breathing steady. Every time someone walked past, my heart jumped. Every time an alpha walked by, I held my breath until they were gone. But… nothing happened. Nobody turned their head. Nobody so much as glanced at me twice. 

I walked out of that store with my paper bags clutched tight, blinking in the sunlight, and actually let myself smile. It felt fragile, but it was there.

“It seems the gods took pity on me, huh?” I murmured to myself as I started walking back. “Since I’ve been seeing people these past few days. Maybe… maybe it’s getting better. Maybe the patch is holding better than I thought..”

Famous last words..

I was halfway down the block when someone stepped into my path.

I stopped short, nearly stumbling back. He was tall — broad-shouldered, dark hair cut short, that easy, confident posture that screamed ‘I’m an Alpha!!’ without him needing to say a word. He smiled, and it was charming, but there was something in his eyes that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

“Hey there,” he said, his voice warm and just a little too close. “I’ve been watching you for a minute. You look really cute.”

My face heated up instantly. I gripped the handles of my bags until my knuckles turned white. “O-oh. Um. Thank you??”

He took a step closer, and I instinctively took one back. “I’m Rowan. Engineering student from Brookshire. What’s your name? Maybe I could get your number too? I’d love to see you again.”

My heart was thudding fast, alarm bells ringing faintly in the back of my head. He was being nice — too nice to my liking — and I didn’t like how he kept breathing in deeply, like he was scenting the air around me.

“I’m sorry,” I said, keeping my voice as polite and steady as I could. “But I’d rather not. Thank you, though.”

He didn’t look hurt. Just shrugged, that easy smile still in place. “No worries at all. But hey — just in case you change your mind — I’m around the engineering building. Everyone knows me and our school lets guests in. You can find me anytime.”

I gave a small, tight nod, relieved he was taking it so well and he hadn't figured out we are in the same university. I take back what I said about the gods pitying me.. “Right. Thanks.”

He turned to leave, hands in his pockets, casual as anything. But just before he walked past me, he paused, leaned in slightly — and dropped his voice, low and quiet, so only I could hear.

And then he said it. “By the way, I love the smell of your pheromones, baby.”

He winked. And then he was gone, walking away down the street like he hadn’t just turned my entire world upside down in one sentence.

I stood there frozen. My blood turned to ice in my veins. My breath hitched in my throat, and for a long moment I couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t do anything but stare at the empty space where he’d just been.

He knew.. 

The bags felt suddenly heavy in my hands. My knees felt weak. I lifted a trembling hand to my neck, fingers pressing hard against the patch, as if pressing harder could somehow make it work better. Make me invisible again.

He knew. And he didn’t even care. He just… said it. Like it was a compliment. Like it was obvious.

I didn’t walk back. I practically ran. Bags swinging against my legs, heart hammering so hard it drowned out everything else, I didn’t stop until I was back inside my building, up the stairs, and behind my locked door once again. I dropped the groceries on the floor by the entryway and sank down beside them, burying my face in my hands.

My heart wouldn’t slow down. My skin felt too tight, too exposed, like everyone on the street could suddenly see right through me. Like that alpha was still standing there, watching me, knowing exactly what I was.

It was just one person, I told myself, voice shaking inside my own head. Just one. Nobody else noticed. He was probably just… messing with me. Trying to scare me. That’s all.

But deep down, beneath the fear and the panic, something cold and heavy settled in my chest. Because I knew. I knew better than anyone.

He hadn’t been guessing.

He’d known.

And if he could smell it… then it was only a matter of time before someone else did too.