Talking with Conner

I know that I would have to face them both sometime and talk and hear there cheating excuses, but right now I needed time. But no matter how much I tried to tell myself I was alright it wasn’t true. I was far from being alright. I was devastated, broken and felt betrayed.

Azalea wouldn’t talk so I’m guessing she just needs time. I can’t imagine how she is feeling right now. I mean that was her other half of her soul the one who would make her complete make us complete and he had hurt us both. I pray she will be ok.

I laid back on my bed and grabbed the tv remote flicking through the channels. I found a comedy film Grown Up’s with Adam chandler his films always makes me laugh. I needed to forget about those two, at least for tonight. I needed this time for myself.

Many thoughts were roaming around my head. How long had this been going on? Do they love each other? Could I watch them everyday together knowing what they both did? I don’t even know why I asked myself that last question because the answer is a big fat no. Argh this is going to make me crazy.

I will talk with them tomorrow to find out the answers at least then I will know what to do. I settled down into my bed and let my tears fall, but I decided then tonight was for the mourning of my lost mate and the loss of my best friend. Tomorrow I would not let them see me break. Tomorrow I would be the strong daughter my parents raised.

I couldn’t fall back to sleep and I tossed and turned for the rest of the night. In the end I got up and decided I needed a very strong coffee. If I was going to face them to today I needed all the strength I could get. I looked at my clock and it was only 4.45am. Still so early. Coffee it is.

I through the duvet off of me and jumped out of bed. There was no need to check my face, I knew I would probably look like a puffy eyed puffer fish. I stomped my way downstairs and flicked the kitchen light on. I reached for the coffee and put the pot on to boil. I could feel movement in the back of my mind.

“Azelea, you there?”

“I’m here,” she whispered.

“How are you? I’m worried about you.”

“I’ll be fine, just hurt and angry but i will be ok.”

“Ok Azelea, just rest my dear friend. I’m here if you need me.”

She slunk back and laid down. Sighing deeply. I had to be strong for her. I can’t risk losing my wolf. I will be strong enough for the both of us. With fueled determination I planned what my day would be. I wasn’t one of these girls who would let heartbreak consume her. My mother taught me better than that.

You let them have control by giving them a reaction. No reaction no control they can seize. They can use your emotions against you. So today I’m me. Sasha Bowman, daughter of the top warriors of the pack. And they taught me well.

I put the radio on to listen to some music. I didn’t like the quietness too much.

I still wasn’t feeling hungry but I know that was to do with how upset I was last night. So I grabbed an apple and munched on that swaying my hips to the beat of Queen.

I drank my coffee and turned up the music. I started dancing around the kitchen then ended up in the living room. A picture caught my eye and I stopped. I walked over to the mantle of the fire place and took the picture down. It was the last picture taken of me and my mum.

I smiled softly and traced the outline of her face.

“I miss you both so much mum. Please give me the strength to do what is right.” I brought my fingers tips to my lips and kissed them and dropped them to my mums face. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I returned the picture to the mantle and smiled again before I walked upstairs to my room.

I sorted my clothes for the day and went and took my shower, I washed my hair and did my morning routine. I got dressed and sat down in front of the mirror and blow dried my hair. I could still hear the music playing downstairs. I decided to go through the box of trinkets that Ashley had given me over the years.

I looked around the room and took our pictures down I didn’t want to see them. The maddening thing about all this, is that she never told me she had even been with our future Alpha. She never mentioned being in a relationship with him. She told me nothing. I thought we were best of friends, obviously not. We used to tell each other everything.

I packed everything away and put it the back of my wardrobe. I would decide later what I would do with it all. I stopped what I was doing when a loud knock sounded on my front door. I looked at the time and it was nearly 8am. I walked downstairs, it had to be one of them.

Well here goes nothing. U opened the door and came face to face with Conner our future Alpha. His hand was resting on the door frame.

“We need to talk.”

He came inside and stood in the middle of the living room. I closed the door and walked a little way in.

“Sasha, please it was a big mistake. I didn’t know you were my mate. I’m so sorry.” He walked towards me and took hold of my hands. He led me to the couch and sat me down sitting beside me.

I bit my lip thinking, but I needed answers.

“How long have you been seeing Ashley?”

“Sasha, don’t do this please.”

“Tell me Alpha Conner? Tell me? How long?”

He sighed and stared at me.

“On and off for about a year.”

To say it didn’t hurt I would be lying. But it was before we found out we were mates.

“Are you in a relationship with her?”

“No and yes.”

“What does that mean?”

“Jesus, it just means we hitch up now and again, it’s not serious.”

“Oh.” I just sat there, not knowing what to say.