Chapter 4

Chapter 4

ANNALISA POV 

I didn't go downstairs for dinner that night. Instead, I retreated to my room, the small guest bedroom on the third floor that had been mine since I was eighteen, that was hidden in a corner where I wouldn't disturb anyone.

 From my window, I could see the gardens below, and beyond that, the side entrance where Antonio stood with Christiana under the soft glow of the porch light.

I shouldn't have watched. I knew I shouldn't. But I couldn't seem to tear my eyes away as he pulled her close, his hand cupping her face gently with a tenderness that I had never seen directed at me. She was crying and he was comforting her, whispering something that made her nod and lean into him.

When he kissed her forehead, something inside my chest cracked.

This was what a fated bond looked like. This was what it meant when two wolves were truly meant for each other. Antonio had never looked at me like that. In two years of marriage, he'd never held me like that, like I was the most precious thing in his life. This wasn't how he was. Before we got married, our relationship was different, friendly, and he always kept an eye out for me and made sure nobody bullied me, he also played with me and helped me in my studies, and he was the first to know where I was sick or hurt and took care of me, all this minor incidents that kept building up, making me fall in love with Antonio, and I naive as well…thought he felt the same way. Only for us to get married and I realized what a great fool I have been all this while.

I let the curtain fall and turned away, pressing my palm against my chest, as if I could physically hold the broken pieces of my heart. I wiped the tears away that had spilled out from my eyes as I took a deep breath and exhaled, trying to put myself back in order. I just needed to survive one month, and then I could leave all of this pain behind.

My wolf whimpered, mourning what we'd never truly had.

***

"You're out of your mind."

Rivers Sawyer stood in the pack gardens the next morning, her arms crossed and her dark eyes flashing with concern and exasperation. She'd been my closest friend since we were teenagers, and she was the only  person in this pack besides Samuel who'd ever treated me like I actually mattered.

Rivers ran a small but successful botanical consulting business, as her main job was advising packs, aside ours that were located on the region on medicinal herbs, garden design, and sustainable farming practices. She was brilliant, fierce, and loyal to the bone but she was currently looking at me like I'd announced plans to walk into a fire.

"Rivers—"

"No, seriously, Bella." She grabbed my hands, her grip urgent. "What are you doing? Demanding a month as his actual wife? You should be running as far from here as possible, not volunteering for more heartbreak."

I pulled away gently, kneeling to check the soil moisture around a bed of wolfsbane. "I have my reasons."

"What reasons could possibly be worth putting yourself through this?" Rivers crouched beside me, lowering her voice. "Come stay with me. My cottage has plenty of room. You can help with my business—you know more about herbs than half my clients. We'll figure something out together."

The offer was tempting. Rivers lived on the outskirts of pack territory in a cozy stone cottage surrounded by beautiful gardens, and different kinds of rare plants and flowers that turned her house into a walk in paradise.. It would be peaceful and more importantly, a fresh start away from Brooke's cruelty and Antonio's indifference.

But it wasn't what I needed.

"I want a child," I said quietly, finally confessing the reason why I had embarked on this madness by demanding Antonio treat me as his wife.

"I want someone who's mine. Someone who'll love me not because they're obligated or because an Alpha ordered them to, but because I'm their mother."

Rivers sat back on her heels, eyes wide. "Bella..."

"Samuel once told me that Antonio and I needed to have a child together." I smiled bitterly, remembering one of the last memories that I had of him, before he died. "He said our bloodlines were important. That they needed to continue. I don't know if that's true, but I do know that I've been alone my entire life. Even in this pack, surrounded by people, I've always been alone."

"You're not alone," Rivers protested. "You have me."

"I know. And I'm grateful for that, more than you'll ever understand." I reached out, squeezing her hand. "But this is something I need to do. One month with Antonio. One chance to conceive. And then I'll leave, and at least I'll have someone who's truly mine."

Rivers looked like she wanted to argue more, but something in my expression must have stopped her. She sighed heavily, pulling me into a fierce hug. "You're going to break your own heart."

"It's already broken," I whispered against her shoulder. "At least this way, something good might come from it."

When we pulled apart, I reached into my pocket and withdrew a folded piece of paper. "I need you to do something for me."

Rivers unfolded it, scanning the address written there. Her eyebrows rose. "This is that house Antonio bought. The one on Maple Street."

"He mentioned giving it to me. After the divorce." The words tasted bitter. "I don't want it. Can you help me sell it? Quietly? I'll need the money once I leave."

"Of course." Rivers tucked the paper into her jacket. "But Bella, what if you don't conceive? What if—"

"Then at least I tried. I have also had enough of being disliked by others and staying in a place where I am not welcomed" I stood, brushing dirt from my knees. "And either way, in thirty days, I'm gone.”