01

Kessa

It was two  days before Christmas, and the  pack grounds looked  heavenly as a blanket of pristine snow floated around it.

Everyone else seemed excited about the annual Christmas celebration, but I felt nothing. Or rather, I felt too much... too much heaviness, too much dread.

I wasn't allergic to celebrations in-fact I loved them, but as I grew  older, I dreaded not only celebrations but my entire existence.

The loud calling of my name snapped me back to reality. My father needed me downstairs.

I adjusted the ruffles on my dress and pushed out a slow breath.  After one final glance at the mirror, I stepped out of my room.

The pack house was a circus; maids were running around trying to get the preparations in order. I wasn't surprised by the busyness. It was always the same around this time of year. The sound of my dad's voice coming from outside caught my attention and headed towards the entrance.

"Move faster!" A voice snapped behind me after I had taken a few steps forward.

I didn't need to turn. I would have recognized that self-important bark anywhere.

It was Dylan.

My wonderful little brother. The new Alpha. My father's pride and joy. The man who ruled this pack with more arrogance than experience.

I wouldn't have turned around if I hadn't heard something crash.

My eyes landed on Dylan, who had stopped walking; he was  glaring at one of the maids who dropped a tray filled with blueberry muffins. Her hands shook as she bent to pick them up.

Dylan's expression changed from dark to darker.

I wasn't surprised. My brother acted like a total snob. He didn't care about the pack, and he treated every staff member like trash. An alpha was supposed to be gentle, kind, and considerate, but Dylan was none of that.

"What did I tell you about being clumsy?" Dylan's voice made the maid flinch.

"Dylan," I said before my mind could catch up with my mouth. "Leave her alone."

He turned slowly like he was giving me the chance to regret speaking before he faced me. When his eyes finally met mine, the look he gave me was deadly.

"Kessa," he said with a dangerous smile that never reached his eyes, "go decorate a tree."

"No," I stepped  forward despite the warning in his stare. ". "I mean it when I said leave her alone. What she did isn't nearly enough to warrant punishment."

"I'm the alpha," he said boldly. "It's my  job to put people in order."

"It's also your job to rule rightly, but I don't see you doing that," I shot back.

He moved so fast it startled even me. One second, he was ten feet away, and the next, his face was inches from mine.

"You don't get to speak to me in that manner," he hissed.  

"I'm only telling you the truth," I said. "You claim that you're the alpha, yet you don't act like one. You've   let three wolves die under your orders this month. Three. That's not leadership, Dylan. That's recklessness. If you would just—"

His hand shot out and clamped around my arm, squeezing so hard pain shot up my shoulder.

"Shut your mouth," he growled.

I should've looked away. I should've backed down.

But I never could.

"Let go of me," I said quietly.

He didn't. Instead, he squeezed harder.

"This would teach you to never interfere with my business." His hands turned to claws, and I could feel it deep into my skin.

"Your actions won't stop me from condemning everything you do. I'll keep talking until the whole pack sees how unfit you're to rule." I spoke despite my pain.

My brother's second hand landed on my cheek. I felt a sting. I didn't have the chance to process the slap when I heard a very cold, familiar voice.

"What is going on here?"

My stomach dropped, and Dylan pulled away.

I turned and found myself face to face with Alpha James Winslow—my father.

The man whose approval I'd spent my whole life chasing and never caught.

"Father," I began, trying to control my breathing. "I was only—"

"Insulting your Alpha?" James snapped.

"No, I was—"

"Disrespecting your brother? " My father's voice cut  me off

I swallowed hard. "I wasn't doing any of that. I was just trying to protect the maid. Dylan was going to hurt her, and I couldn't just stand there and watch him do it."

"He's an alpha and has every right to do whatever he wants," my father spat.

"Him doing whatever he wants is the reason why this pack is a mess and people keep dying."

"How dare you speak like that?" My father snarled.

"I'm only saying what I've noticed, Father, and I know you see it too."

"All I can see is you feeling entitled." my father said, stepping forward until his nose was almost touching mine.  "Just because you were born first doesn't give you the right to criticize your brother. He has what it takes to be a ruler, and you don't. You never will."

A few wolves nearby froze, staring at us. Dylan stood beside him, smirking smugly.

My heart stopped.

"I regret the day you were born," he spat, each word landing harder than the slap Dylan had given me minutes earlier. "If I had known you'd grow up to be nothing but trouble, I would've ended your life the moment you took your first breath."

I felt the world tilt, and my wolf recoiled deep inside me.

"You..." I whispered. "You would've killed me?"

"Gladly."

I didn't hear what anyone else said. I didn't hear the whispers. I didn't see my mother; Luna Sara, standing nearby, turning her face away as if pretending she hadn't heard a thing.

All I saw was the entrance and  I ran towards it . My heart sank, my vision blurred, and my wolf whimpered inside me like a wounded animal.

I didn't stop running until my body led me to the only place it ever brought me when I was falling apart.

Quinn's cabin.

Beta Quinn Nightwell was my fated mate. My comfort. My strength when everything else failed.

He would understand.

He always understood.

He'd seen my tears, my fears, and had held me through the nights I believed my father's hatred was my fault.

He'd sworn he loved me, and I had believed him.

I reached his cabin breathless. I didn't knock. I never knocked.

When I pushed the door open, my ears were greeted by the heavy sound of moaning.

At first, my brain refused to accept it.

Then I heard a very familiar voice that belonged to Fiona. My best friend.

My world stopped.

I walked toward the bedroom door like a ghost. My hand shook as I pushed the door open.

The moment I stepped in, I saw Quinn pounding into Fiona fiercely.

"Tell me you love me!" He growled. "Tell me, Fiona,"

"I do," she mumbled. "I always have,"

They weren't aware that I was standing there.

When they finally did, Quinn didn't even flinch. He didn't scramble for a blanket or try to explain.

He just smirked.

"Well," he drawled, "this is awkward."

Fiona didn't bother hiding her satisfied smile. She leaned up and pressed a slow kiss to Quinn's neck, her eyes locked on mine.

My heart cracked.

"Quinn," I whispered. "How... how could you?"

He laughed.

"Oh, Kessa. Sweet, naive, Kessa. Do you really think I ever loved you?" He leaned back. "I was with you because I thought your father might actually choose you as the next Luna. And when I became Alpha beside you, I'd have the real power. I worked so hard for my beta title. I wasn't going to let it slip."

"I loved you," I choked out.

"Yeah. I used that, too."

Fiona giggled. "You were always so easy to manipulate."

I stared at her, and I couldn't believe this was the same person I trusted.

I realized she had never loved me. Not once.

"I told him," she said with a shrug, "that once we get rid of you, everything will fall into place."

Get rid of me?

Quinn rolled his eyes. "Relax, Fiona. She won't do anything. She's spineless."

I couldn't breathe, and yet somehow, I found the strength to walk away.

I  didn't cry or scream. I turned and left.

Outside, the cold slapped my face, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered.

I ran again. Through the forest and past the training grounds. I kept on running toward the cliffs overlooking the frozen river.

By the time I reached the cliff, my lungs were on fire.

I walked to the edge and stared down. The river below was buried under ice. For a brief, terrifying moment, I wondered if anyone would even care if I disappeared.

My father wouldn't.

My brother wouldn't.

My mother wouldn't.

Quinn wouldn't.

Fiona wouldn't.

I picked up a pebble and threw it over the edge.

The wind howled around me, swirling snow against my skin like a cold embrace.

Maybe the world would really be better without me.

A crackle of leaves behind me broke the silence.

Someone was there.

I froze as I felt a presence really close to me. I found it quite strange because I didn't hear a footstep.

At that exact moment, a voice whispered close to my ears.

"You should have never done it."

Before I could turn or scream, a hard shove slammed into my back.

And I fell.