Chapter 1

The drive back from the Alpha Conference was always the worst. Yes, having the conference out in the middle of nowhere was a deterrent for anyone to attack, but goddess be damned, it was literally in the middle of nowhere.

Since my pack was at the very Northwestern corner of the states, even bleeding into Canada, it was the longest drive out of most of the Alphas heading in. We could have flown but my Beta refused to get inside a flying metal tube. His fear forced us to drive and I wasn’t about to get through those meetings without him.

I’d love to just skip the whole thing but it was mandatory or you would incur a penalty that could be serious. I was just lucky enough to be able to take both my Beta and my Gamma. My father currently was watching the pack for us. I also decided to bring some of the young kid and give them a chance to see what it was like out in the field.

Oliver was my Gamma and his son, Jake, was set to take over as Beta, instead of Gamma. Kirk was my Beta and his son, Curtis, was set to take over the Gamma spot. Then I had brought four of the most promising recruits that were headed into the warrior training. I still requested they went to college but they would be training full time with our other warriors for two years before stepping up.

This was their first test and they really hadn’t done all that bad. There had been more than one scuffle that happened between Alphas but I kept myself pretty reserved from that kind of drama.

It probably helped to that my dad had been the previous Alpha King’s best friend. I knew the current Alpha King, Jasper, but we didn’t have the same relationship that our father’s had. Still, I was closer to him than most Alphas and that would deter them for picking a fight with me.

“So…are we stopping in the next city?”

Jake and Curtis weren’t eighteen yet and still in High School. They didn’t have access to the mind link of the pack. My phone was mounted on the dash, a call between our three different cars that we had caravanned to the conference in.

Oliver growled. “Isn’t the next city the one with the single motel that looks straight out of a horror movie?”

I chuckled at my Gamma but it was Kirk, my Beta, who replied. “Scared, Liver?”

“So what? I don’t want to sleep with bed bugs. Because you know they don’t clean that shit. The whole town is disgusting. I swear.”

“They have a strip club.” One of the younger guys piped up, making Kirk and I groan.

Oliver gagged. “You don’t want to know what kinds of diseases end up in places like that. Not out here.”

“I mean, I don’t feel like pulling an all nighter this early either but that city is depressing. Every time we pass it more is crumbling.” Kirk sighed. “We will hit it around dinner time according to the navigation.”

“Alright. We will stop for dinner and then decide after we have some food in us.”

They all agreed and it was quiet for a few minutes before the younger guys started to launch into a conversation about which she-wolves they were going to ‘hit first’ when they got back. Hanging up on the call, I sighed. I needed some quiet for a moment. My wolf was grumbling in the back of my head. He didn’t like being in a car for this long as well and it set him on edge.

I was the second car in our three-car-line, but the only one without extra passengers. It was always my requirement that I could drive alone. Sometimes, I just needed a break. Not just from the pack but from everything.

‘You okay?’ Kirk mind-linked me.

‘Yeah. I just needed some quiet. I’ll jump back in when we get closer.’

He hummed for a moment. ‘Alright, Alpha.’

His mind-link disconnected and I was left alone to my thoughts. This Alpha Conference had been particularly infuriating. A lot of the older Alphas had handed the reigns down to their sons who thought they would try and make a name for themselves. Unfortunately, all they did was raise their voices and make themselves hoarse. More and more ridiculous ideas hit the floor and ended up being a waste of everyone’s time.

Unlike usual, the Alpha King had to step in multiple times to chastise them. Even I had to step in. I was pretty middle of the road in politics and I rarely made waves because I didn’t see a need to. Every Alpha had the option to run their pack how they wanted but there were some lines that weren’t crossed. Lines that were brought up multiples times. I’d never been so exhausted from a conference like I was with this one.

It didn’t help that I was thirty this year. Thirty and the only one at the conference without a mate. That had been shocking. Sometimes there were few out of the younger Alphas but they all showed up with chosen mates this year. It made me stand out and Jasper finally took me aside to talk to me.

While we drifted apart, in private we dropped the titles. He gave me the speech that my council continued to give me. Except that I knew Jasper was coming from a place of genuine worry. That and I was too much of a stubborn bastard. He laid out an ultimatum for me. Either I took a chosen mate before I turned thirty-one or he would choose for me.

That’s what was putting me in a foul mood. I believed in the fated mate bond. Despite how old fashioned it was viewed nowadays. Deep down I knew that my mate probably had already died or they were somewhere in the world that I couldn’t reach. It still seemed unfair that I wasn’t given time to wait for them. My age felt moot compared to finding a soul mate.

As an Alpha, it was important to have a Luna. Someone by my side. Dad had helped me put it off the decision so I could look but now it was all coming to a head. A mate made me stronger. A fated mate would make me stronger. Stronger than even my dad. If I chose a mate, they would at least put me on par with him. Right now, I was neither of those.

I was tired. Getting more tired by the day. I knew being away from the pack frayed the nerves of my wolf and I, but it was more than that. A continuous headache had been hitting me behind my right eye ever since we left. While at the conference, I didn’t really sleep. I already suffered from insomnia, but I couldn’t even nap while we were there. It was like my brain was wired but my body was shutting down.

‘Alpha?’ Kirk was tentative as he mind-linked me.

I hummed.

‘The city is just up ahead.’

Blinking, I realized he was right. I must have spaced out for longer than I thought. Sighing, I rejoined the call with the other two cars.

“Oliver, lead us to one of the three restaurants. I don’t care which one. We are staying the night as well.”

There was a mixture of groaning and celebration. I refocused as we hit Glenwood and Oliver lead us to the diner set right in the middle of it. Really, it wasn’t even a city. Not anymore. It was more of a town and even that was being generous.

We pulled into the near empty parking lot and I got out, stretching. The weight of sadness made the air thick. It felt like this is where people went to be forgotten or die.

There was a cloud of depression that hung over everything. The desperation and poverty sank this whole town into its misery. The buildings were crumbling with no one around to repair it. The roads, outside of the main ones, turned into dirt most of the time. I wondered if there would be a conference that I would go to and this town wouldn’t be here anymore.

“I really hate this place.” Oliver crammed his hands into his jeans pocket.

I couldn’t agree more. We all loaded up into the small diner, taking up three booths, as the waitress quickly took everyone’s order. She was older, with deep and dark circles hanging under her eyes. She didn’t look like she gave a single thought to what she was doing other than scribbling down our order.

“Do we really have to stay?” Kirk asked this time.

“I know you want to get back to your mate, but I’m not going to last.”

Oliver sighed, having a sip of water. “Have one of the boys drive with you. Daniel can drive. He’s the best one out of the bunch.”

I shook my head. “No. We will stay.”

“Zayle…” My Beta frowned at me. “You doing okay?”

“No. And I’m not changing my mind.”

Oliver leaned over to look at me, examining my face. “When was the last time you slept?”

I closed my eyes rubbing them. “Guys. Please. I want to get home too. I just can’t do an all nighter.”

“Yes, Alpha.”

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Trigger Warning:

This story is rated 18+. It contains descriptions of acts such as non-consensual sex, abuse, suicide, and other heavy negative emotional activity which some readers may find triggering. Please keep that in mind when moving forward with reading this story. Thank you! <3