Abuse

Warning: this chapter contains sexual assault. 

I feel the bed deepen on my side, but I don't turn, so I close my eyes. I don't want his hands on me. 

"I know you're awake," he says, leaning to kiss my neck. 

"please leave," I beg in a small voice. I'm so exhausted. But he continues his assault on my neck, turning me abruptly. I push him, but he's strong. Mario hovers over me and rips my nightgown. I struggle under him, but no, it's no use. He'll rape me again. He has been doing this since my nineteenth birthday. 

"I fucking wish you couldn't fight me all the damn time," he slaps me, and my hands go to my stinging cheek. Angry tears stream down my face as he takes off his boxers. 

He comes back on top, positioning himself on me. I cry out as he violently enters me. 

"fuck," he moans. 

He gets in and out of me at a frantic pace, and tears pour down my face. I try to protest, but he only hits me again. How did I ever think I could love him? 

"You always feel fucking good," he breathes against my neck, enjoying his hot breath on me as he caresses my breast. 

Mario keeps biting my neck, leaving marks on me to show that I'm his. At this point, I stop struggling and let him do as he pleases. I'm done fighting. Mario continues to thrust in me savagely. He grabs my neck, tightening his hold. 

"fuck are you a log?!" he shouts in anger, and I stopped responding. 

"Are you done?" I ask. 

"I. Will. finish once. My. Baby Is in you," he says each word with a forceful thrust. His monster baby in me? No way. 

The last time Martinez and I went shopping, I bought more birth control pills. 

Lately, he's been obsessed with putting a baby in me. 

And the fact that he can't get me pregnant is driving him insane. I smile darkly. I'll never let a child of mine be born here, and besides, I'll never be a mother as I'm not fond of babies; they are so tiny, soft, and gorgeous. They steal your heart, no. I'll never bring such a thing in the world, especially one that will bind me to this abusive monster or anything he'll use on me. 

He keeps thrusting, trailing his nails on my side. With a few thrusts, he spills into my pussy and rolls off me. 

"This kind of insubordination has to stop," he warns, still breathing heavily. I get off the bed and head to the shower to wash his sweat off me, but he yanks my hair.  

"I want a baby with you or no one. I'm in a clear?" 

"I can't make it magically appear," I retort, crossing my arms angrily. "don't blame me if you're not brave enough to impregnate me," I smile in triumph, but again for the second time today, he hits me with all his might, and I fly back crushing to the night light. 

He comes on top of me. 

"Bitch, you're in my home, you're mine, I claimed you!" he yells. "and you will fucking show me respect!" he kicks my side with his knee. A sob escapes me as much as I try to hold it. 

"you know what? "he says, massaging his already hard member. "I feel like going round two," I shake my head, screaming that's all I can do since I know he hates it when I do. I don't care if the whole Estate hears. They are already used to it. 

He slams Into me roughly, so aggressive. 

"ouch," I sob. 

"yes, baby, take that so you know who you belong to," he mutters, breathing hard and biting my breast. 

"son of a bitch," 

"Oh yes," he laughs, holding my hands. How can he do this to me? He was my father's closest partner; he betrayed my family because he was obsessed with me. 

After what feels like hours, he finally meets his release with a satisfied smile and bends down to kiss my already swollen lips. 

"How do you do it, Mi Chiquita?" he sounds amused and satisfied. 

"You taste better each time." Mario finally gets off me. I close my eyes, still on the floor, and I hear the bathroom door close. 

 I don't have any more strength left in me. Tomorrow is another day. 

I want to sleep, but I'm scared, as I've been for the last two years. Always waiting for the other shoe to drop, will the other cartel attack this place? Why would it be good if I didn't hate anything gun-related since that night? 

Even Mario ensures he doesn't have his with him when I'm around. He puts it where I can't see it.