CHAPTER FIVE

Violet's pov

Just as I had prayed everyday for someone to rescue me from this wretched place, Xaden appeared, helping me escape the horrors that had held me for what felt like eternity, and I will be forever grateful to him for saving him from that nightmare. 

But…

I didn't ask to be reached from one nightmare only to enter another. 

Our journey to the Winter pack, Xaden's pack stretched on for weeks. 

It felt like an eternity, moving through endless forests, towering mountains of his bone-chilling territory. The cold was insane and the fact that he didn't flinch once made it even more insane.

He noticed me flinch and wrapped his coat over mine. “Here.”

“But aren't you…” my words froze on my tongue when he planted a kiss on my lips. 

“I'm fine,” he smiled. “Besides, the cold never bothered me anyways.”

My cheeks tinted pink and I turned my gaze ahead. 

Light laugh spilled out of Xaden's lips as he rode behind me.

With one hand, he pulled my body closer, making my back press against his chest. 

I felt safe in his arms. 

In that moment, everything felt right. 

Two weeks into our journey, I learned Xaden's habits.

How he rose before dawn to sharpen his blade or how his golden eyes softened whenever he looked at me or how he loved cuddling me everytime he was near me or even his lips parted as if to say something but would close just in time before I asked.

I couldn't help but think there was something he wasn't telling me.

But I didn't ask. 

Not when he gave me his coat on colder nights. Not when he healed me, mount our horse with careful hands and help me dismount without me asking.

But…

The silence between us each time he tries to say something and doesn't, grows heavier with each passing mile.

By the time we reached Xaden's castle, a towering castle in the mountains, I couldn't hold back any longer. 

“Tell me the truth.” I blurted out without thinking but it was better than keeping silent about it.

Xaden stiffened. His back was to me but I could feel his hesitation.

His hand curled to a fist. “Violet…”

“Xaden, look at me.” I said softly.

He turned around slowly and for a long moment, he didn't say anything. 

“Why did you choose me?” I asked.

His shoulders tensed. 

“Xaden,” I took a step closer. “Mira is the Alpha's King's daughter. She… she was your mate but you… rejected her for me. Why?” 

He took my hands, brushing his fingers over mine. “I had to.”

“What?” I was confused.

“I rejected Mira because you were mine.” 

Because I was his first?

Did I hear right?

I swallowed, almost pulling away but he wouldn't let me. “What do you mean?” 

“Because,” he closed the distance between us. “You were mine from the very start.”

Okay. This wasn't helping at all.

He looked down at my hands and brushed his fingers against a faint scar on my wrist. “Do you remember how you got this?”

       

I blinked, looking down. The scar was barely noticeable. But I don't remember getting that scar. 

“I don't remember,” I breathed out. “I mean, I've had lots of scars in the past. Maybe, it was one I got from being flogged.”

“Violet…” he called my name.

I looked up to meet his gaze. “Yes?”

“Please, don't talk like that,” he said. “Promise me you wouldn't talk about that ever again.”

The look in his eyes said it – piercing golden orbs that glistened …. Glistened. Was he crying? 

I gasped. “Xaden.” 

He drew me against him, burying my face in his chest. “You didn't get that scar from your pack.”

He kept tracing the faint scar softly as if willing me to remember and it worked.

A memory stirred within me but it only came in fractions – a whispered vow, a heavy applause from a gathered assembly, the sharp pain of a blade. 

My breath hitched and I felt Xaden's hand in my hair.

“It's okay.” He said, stroking my hair softly.

A shuddering breath left my lips. 

“It’s alright, love.” He buried his face in my neck.

“What happened?” I asked.

“Are you sure you want to know?” He asked. 

I should've just said no and let him keep the secret to himself but I couldn't. Curiosity wouldn't let me.

“Yes.” I whispered.

Xaden planted a soft kiss on my forehead. “When you and I were children, our parents arranged a bloodpact between us.”

The world tilted but Xaden wouldn't let me fall. 

He held me tightly against him as if knowing this would happen. “You were promised to me, long before the Moon Goddess ever chose a mate for me.” 

“But I… I would've remembered. I ..” 

“You were taken away from me, Violet.” He pulled away to look at me.

“Stolen?” My brows furrowed.

“Yes,” Xaden said as he smoothened the lines on my forehead. “You were stolen from the pack when you were just a child. They… erase your memories. They made you forget.”

My pulse roared in my veins. 

Stolen? Taken? They? Who took me? And why?

Everything was too much for me to handle. 

I nearly had a panic attack. My life… my whole life has been a lie!

Xaden lifted my gaze to meet his. “For years, I searched all over for you, Violet. And when I saw you again, I knew. I knew you were still mine.”

I wanted to deny it. I wanted to tell him he was wrong. But the way he looked at me – the desperation and longing in his eyes – told me everything.

Somewhere deep inside of me, something stirred.

What was it?

I was searching for it but couldn't find it.

“Take it easy, love.” Xaden's voice cut through my thoughts. “We'll take it at your own pace.”

I swallowed hard. “But… what if I don't remember?”

My memory.

Our bond.

The truth.

I could ignore it all but I had to face it. 

“What if I don't… don't remember?” I repeated in a whisper. 

Xaden leaned closer and brushed his lips against mine. “Then I'll remind you.”