CHAPTER 41: THE SOUL-CRUSHING ROAR

I woke up feeling completely rejuvenated—it was the best sleep I’d had in ages. At some point in the night, we had shifted positions. I ended up on my back with Zane’s head resting on my chest. I adjusted slightly, easing his head higher to avoid putting pressure on the girls—he’d been hurting them.

Glancing at the clock, I realized we’d slept for a staggering sixteen hours. I was relieved Zane got the rest he desperately needed.

Running my fingers through his hair, I watched as he slowly stirred. He stretched, blinking in confusion as he took in his surroundings. He already looked better than the night before, and once he shaved, he’d feel even more like himself.

Propping himself up on his elbows, Zane turned to me, concern in his eyes. “Did I hurt you?” he asked.

“Not at all. I was actually quite comfortable,” I reassured him before hesitating. “How do you feel?”

“Much better, thank you.” He studied me. “How did you know?”

“I get the same way around their death anniversary. I used to lock myself away for days. The nightmares always hit hardest then,” I admitted.

“When is it?” he asked gently.

“August 18th—five weeks from now. But it’s gotten easier over the years.”

“How?” His voice was heavy with exhaustion.

“I stopped burying it. I used to think if I hid my pain, no one would see my weakness. If I ignored it, pretended it didn’t exist, maybe it would fade. But all it did was fester until I lost control.” I couldn’t meet his gaze, shame tightening my chest.

“Once, in the ring, I saw someone in the crowd who looked like Connor, and I snapped. All that rage exploded out of me. Two punches—I thought I’d killed her. She lay there, motionless. By the time I realized what I’d done, the ambulance came and they’d rushed her to the hospital. She woke up after fourteen months in a coma.” My voice wavered as tears spilled onto my hands.

“That’s when I decided I wouldn’t let the pain rule me anymore. I went up into the mountains and just… let go. I screamed. I cried—for them, for all the memories I’d never expirence with my babies, for the life Connor and I lost, for the grandchildren I’d never have. I let myself feel everything—the grief, the anger, the love. I accepted it. They’re gone, and nothing can change that.”

Zane cupped my face, lifting it to his. He brushed away my tears. “I’m sorry, mi alma.”

Pulling me into his lap, he held me as I sobbed. Then, after a deep breath, he surprised me. “Will you help me?”

“Of course, my alpha. When you’re ready, would you tell me what happened?” That was the first step.

“Someday. But not yet,” he murmured, shame flickering across his face. I turned his chin toward me, holding his gaze.

“I’m not going anywhere. Take your time.” Then, inspiration struck. I stood and tugged him up. “Get dressed. I have an idea.”

As I moved to leave for my room, Zane stopped me. “You have clothes in all our rooms.” Sure enough, my entire wardrobe had been duplicated here along side Zane’s clothes.

Once dressed, we stepped outside. I shifted into my dragon form and nodded toward my back. “Get on.”

He climbed aboard, and soon we were soaring high in the sky headed to the mountains. It is  unclaimed by any pack. The elders refused to give it anyone unless one of us became larger than the others. If we defeated the Blood Moon Pack’s alpha and merged the packs, this land would be ours, too.

Landing on a peak, I lowered Zane to the ground.

“Stay in this form until we have a fire,” he said, gathering wood. Once satisfied, he gave the signal. “Light it.”

A burst of flame from me ignited the fire instantly. Even in dragon form, I felt its warmth. Then I shifted back.

“So, what’s the plan?” Zane asked.

I grinned and took his arms. “Close your eyes.” He obeyed. “Now, picture your worst nightmare—not just the image, but the sounds, the smells, the resentment. Relive it.” I gave him a moment.

“Now, take all that pain, all that anger, all of it and roar,” I said, pressing one ear to his chest and covering the other with my hand.

Zane unleashed a sound so raw it shattered the air—a visceral cry laden with years of agony and grief. His roar tore from his chest until his voice gave out, leaving him crumpled on his knees.

I sank down beside him, guiding his head to my shoulder as he broke apart in my arms. His grip was desperate, crushing me against him, but I didn’t complain. He needed this—needed me. I stayed there, letting him pour out years of buried torment, my heart splintering at the weight of his suffering. He’d endured it all alone, with no one to share the burden, no one to help him heal.

When his tears finally subsided, he seized my face and kissed me—hard, possessive, demanding. This wasn’t about submission. He needed fire, an equal to match him. Dominance. I shoved him onto his back, straddling him without breaking contact. He growled, flipping us so he loomed over me, dominant and unyielding. Clothes were torn away in frantic urgency, and then he was inside me, claiming me with a ferocity that stole my breath.

It was unlike anything I’d ever experienced—rough, relentless, perfect. I hadn’t known how much I craved his dominance until now. When release tore through us, we clung to each other, marked by sweat and whispered promises.

“I am yours,” I vowed, locking eyes with him.

“And I am yours,” he rasped back.

As he helped me up, guilt darkened his expression at the sight of blood seeping through my bandage. “Damn it, you should’ve told me I was hurting you.”

I shook my head. “You needed this, all of it. If it was too much, I would’ve said so. If it makes you feel better, you can play doctor and change my bandage when we get home.”

Before I could shift, he pulled me close, his voice uncharacteristically tender. “Thank you, mi alma. You knew exactly what I needed—last night, today… You dragged me out of the darkness when I didn’t think light existed anymore.”

His vulnerability surprised me; I’d expected walls, not this raw honesty.

“That’s what mates do,” I murmured. “Besides, our monsters understand each other.”

With a final squeeze, he let me shift, and soon we were back at the pack house, greeted by the others who were waiting for our return.