The Man I Couldn't Forget

Anna’s Pov 

I spent three days filling out applications and writing essays about why I wanted to go back to school and gathering my old transcripts that showed I failed everything but at least proved I existed and by Friday I got an acceptance letter in my email that made me cry on my bathroom floor.

Monday morning I walked into the club and found Jo in his office drinking whiskey even though it was ten in the morning.

"I'm quitting," I said while standing in the doorway.

Jo looked up and laughed. "You serious?"

"Yes," I said. "I'm going to school and I'm not doing this anymore."

"You're making good money here," Jo said while leaning back in his chair. "Why throw that away for some college degree that won't get you shit?"

"Because I'd rather be poor with a degree than rich doing this," I said and turned around and walked out before he could say anything else.

Crystal texted me that afternoon asking why I quit and I told her about school and she said good for you girl get out while you can and I hoped she would get out too someday.

I found a waitress job at a cafe called Rosie's that was two blocks from campus and the pay was seven twenty five an hour plus tips but it was honest work and when I went home at night I didn't feel dirty.

The manager Linda was fifty something with gray hair pulled back in a bun and she had kind eyes that crinkled when she smiled.

"You ever waited tables before?" Linda asked while looking at my application.

"No ma'am," I said because lying seemed stupid when I would mess up anyway.

"Well you're honest at least," Linda said. "You start tomorrow at six. Don't be late."

My first day I dropped a whole tray of pancakes and spilled coffee on some guy's white shirt and forgot to put in an order for table five but Linda just laughed and said everyone's first day is a disaster and by the end of the week I figured it out.

School started two weeks later and I walked into my first class feeling like everyone could tell I didn't belong there because they all looked young and happy and like their parents paid for everything while I looked tired and broken and like I was barely holding it together.

I sat in the back and opened my notebook and when the professor started talking about books and writing and stories I felt something wake up inside me that had been asleep for years.

I made a friend in English class named Maya who talked too much and asked too many questions but in a good way and she invited me to study at the library and get coffee between classes and slowly I started feeling like maybe I could be normal.

Weeks passed and I stopped checking my phone every five minutes hoping Kelvin would call because he never did and eventually I convinced myself that night didn't mean anything except I got a thousand dollars and lost my virginity and that was it.

I worked mornings at the cafe and went to class in the afternoons and did homework at night and I barely slept but I didn't care because I was moving forward for the first time in my life.

My body started changing in ways I didn't notice at first because I was too busy but I got tired easier and my boobs hurt when I touched them and I thought maybe I was just stressed from working and school.

I missed my period but that happened sometimes when I was stressed so I didn't think about it.

Then I missed another one and my jeans felt tight around my waist and one morning I woke up and ran to the bathroom and threw up until there was nothing left in my stomach.

Maya saw me looking pale in class and grabbed my arm. "Girl you look terrible. Are you sick?"

"I don't know," I said. "Maybe the flu."

"You need to see a doctor," Maya said while packing up her stuff. "Come on. Student health center is free."

"I'm fine," I said but she wasn't listening and she dragged me across campus to the health center and made me check in.

The nurse was young and had blonde hair in a ponytail and she smiled when I sat down. "What brings you in today?"

"I've been throwing up," I said. "And I'm tired all the time. My friend thinks I'm dying."

The nurse laughed. "When was your last period?"

I thought about it. "Maybe eight weeks ago? I don't know. I don't keep track."

"Are you sexually active?" the nurse asked.

"I was," I said. "Once. Like six weeks ago."

The nurse's face changed and she handed me a cup. "I need you to pee in this."

I went to the bathroom and peed in the cup and came back and waited in the exam room while she ran tests and I stared at posters about STDs and birth control and safe sex.

Twenty minutes later the nurse came back with a clipboard and she sat down across from me.

"Anna," she said. "Your test came back positive. You're pregnant."

The room spun and I grabbed the exam table to keep from falling because this wasn't real and this couldn't be happening.

"That's impossible," I said. "It was one time."

"It only takes one time," the nurse said gently. "Based on your symptoms and your last period I'd say you're about five or six weeks along."

Five weeks.

That night with Kelvin.

The night I thought was over and didn't mean anything.

Where would I start from?