Chapter 14: A Step Closer

After taking note and confirming our order, the server left us.  

“So, let’s talk about what you said. Why did you feel you must feel worthy of me? Do you feel you aren’t worthy of me?”

“I … I ....” Uh, why did he just ask me like that? “Uh … look at me.”

He stared at me with wrinkles on his forehead. “I see you each day. You are neat. Today is no different.” Then he was quiet for a while before continuing his words without frowning. “I like what I see.”

I blushed, but I shook my head. “It’s not what I meant. How to explain this?” I scratched my head. “I’m not from a wealthy family. Despite not being a poor family either, if we compare our families, we are from two different worlds.” 

Later, I bent my head. After taking a deep breath, I went further, “From your story, your parents expect you to have friends with similar people like you.” I looked deeply into his eyes, trying to find if he understood what I said. Then I continued, “I … I’m not ready for their rejection.” 

His eyes widened, surprised by what I said. “Ah, I see. I thought you were unsure of me.” Then his lips curved widely. “It’s my problem. Don’t worry. I’ll be the one who convinces my parents. ”

“Of course I’m worried. If you pay attention to me, you’ll understand.”

Again, he frowned. “Pay attention to you?” He gazed at me more attentively. “You have a neat and well-dressed, professional look.”

“It’s not what I meant,” I protested immediately.

“I see nothing’s wrong with your look. You are pretty and sweet. So, what’s the problem?” 

I was about to answer him, but the server came with our meals and beverages. So we waited until the server finished serving our order before continuing with our conversation. 

“How about if we delay it? I’m hungry.” Deliberately I showed him a pitiful look.

He nodded while smiling. “Okay. Let’s eat first.” I was relieved to hear that. “Afterward, I’ll wait for your answer.”

I lost my appetite to hear what he said. After picking my meal with chopsticks, I chewed and swallowed my ramen. I kept thinking about the best way to tell him.  

On the other hand, he enjoyed his food. After a while, I stopped eating and gulped my Ocha. The ramen was spicy enough.  

He looked at me, then took a piece of tissue on the table, and wiped the corner of my lips. “There is a stain of broth on your lips.”

“Oh! It’s good, but spicy.” I waved my hand to my face to cool it and blew my breath because my tongue felt burned.

He chuckled. “You know it’s spicy. So why ordered it?” 

“Because it’s delicious. If it weren’t spicy, it would be less tasty.”

“Your expression is cute. If only I took your pic, it would be lovely to print and place on my desk,” he said, laughing loudly. 

“Don’t you dare!” I took another piece of tissue to wipe the sweat flowing from my forehead. Then I waved my hand again to cool myself from the spicy broth I swallowed. 

He raised his hand to call the server. The server came right away. “Yes, sir? Anything I can help?”

“I want orange juice. With extra ice cubes, please?”

“Anything else, sir?”

“That’s it for now. Thank you.”

After a while, the server came with Edward’s orange juice. After putting the glass on our table, the server left us again.  

“Drink it.” He shifted the glass to me.  

I gulped it instantly, then sighed. “It’s so good!”

Again, he stared at me while smiling.  

“Why are you smiling? Anything’s wrong?” I immediately took a small mirror from my bag to check my face. 

He chuckled. “Nothing. You’re so cute. Sometimes, you look so mature, but on other occasions, you are like a child. So innocent, naive, and adorable.” He took my hand. After squeezing it a little, he said, “I like you just the way you are.”

I blushed again. It was not because of the spicy ramen broth this time. “You are truly a sweet talker.”

“If you blush like that, you look so pretty.” He grinned this time.

I couldn’t help it. My face flushed more. “You are truly a flirt,” I grumbled, while I was happy inside. 

“You make me comfortable. I can be myself beside you with no pretense. I don’t need to wear a mask.” His face was serious now. “You know what? It’s exhausting to keep wearing a mask.”

“A mask?” I frowned.

“In my social circle, almost everyone wears smiling masks. Why? Because if they don’t, it will show faces with tears or wrinkles in their foreheads.” He shook his head. “Few people want to deal with that. Even if we can find people who don’t mind dealing with that, it is just on the surface.” 

He let out a long sigh. “It’s hard to find people who care to wipe people’s tears or erase the wrinkles on their foreheads. It’s even rarer for people to give their ears to listen to people’s miseries.” He groaned. “So, why bother to remove the masks? It’s easier to wear one.”

“Are you sure none is being themselves?”

His laugh was cynical in my ear. “You will see a face with a blank look or feel tortured. Which one do you choose?”

“Really?” 

“One day, when you’re ready, I’ll bring you to meet them. Then you’ll get what I told you. We live by carrying some mental loads.” His eyes looked away. “Just because we have more money than most people, because we are more popular because we are regularly on the news, and have more power, it doesn’t mean we have no problems. We have plenty of them.” He sighed. “We’re just more tactical and cover all with a smiling mask.”  

I touched his upper arm, trying to give sympathy. 

He gazed at me. This time, his stare was a sad one. “I’m sorry. The topic should be about you, but I made it about me again.” This time, he gave me a small smile, though it was forced. “I hope you aren’t bored yet with me.”

I smiled back at him and patted his arm. “I’m glad you shared about yourself.” I looked deeply into his eyes when I said, “I feel I know you better. It’s a step closer. When you say nothing, I often wonder who you really are. Why do you want me to be your girlfriend? I have many other questions, especially if I deserve you.”

“The answer to why I wanted you to be my girlfriend is obvious. You make me comfortable. I feel relaxed with you.” He stopped for a few seconds before continuing, “About who am I? More or less, I already told you. You’ll know the rest later.” He squeezed my hand again. “I hope when you know more, it won’t make you run away from me.”

I shook my head. “Of course not. I promise I won’t do that.”

He cupped my face with both hands. “Don’t promise too early.” He sighed. “Let’s enjoy it and see what happens later. I hope you will be happy with me until the end.”

I nodded. He bent his head forward, kissing my forehead. Then I leaned my head on his shoulder. 

He whispered in my ear, “Please don’t ask again about if you are worthy of me and if you deserve me. You are the one who made me remove my mask and be myself. You are worthier and more deserving than anyone else to be with me.”

Once again, I nodded. His answers were like a chilly breeze of wind on a hot day. I had never expected he would think like that. We needed more time to get to know each other better because I just knew him on the surface.  

However, at least we were getting a step closer. I wished we had more steps ahead to get to know each other more deeply. I wanted to ensure that he was the answer for my prayer—the love.