Eight

Teresa stared at the blinking cursor on her resignation letter. Her fingers hovered, trembling over the keyboard. Just send it, her mind whispered to her. Run away before everything collapses around you. You will be completely humiliated and destroyed, her mind basically screamed at her.

But she couldn’t resign. Not yet at least. She didn't know what he would say about what she had done. The gravity of the situation was seriously dawning on her.

She stood from her desk in her room, her legs shaky as she made her way to the kitchen, clutching her arms around her chest. The apartment was silent except for the low hum of the refrigerator and the background sound of the show playing on the television. She couldn’t breathe. Her mouth was dry. Her panties… he still had them.

He saw her.

Every Single Thing.

Her knees buckled slightly and she sank to the kitchen floor with tears streaming down her cheeks like a silent surrender.

Mariana walked in a minute later, towel wrapped around her hair, toothbrush in her mouth. “You okay?” she mumbled around the foam.

Teresa didn’t respond.

Mariana ran back inside her room for a while then reappeared with a clean mouth and no brush in her hand, dropped the towel from her head, and walked over. “Hey.” She knelt beside her. “Teresa. Look at me.”

Teresa blinked hard, but the tears escaped anyway. “He saw me, Mari… He saw everything.”

"What are you talking about. You came back last night looking like you were in a daze. I thought you were just tired from work."

"I messed up Mari, I couldn't control myself, I was basically losing my mind and I just had to get off. So I touched myself in the office."

"Well that's not so bad,"Mariana started.

"In His office, in his chair." I interrupted.

"Oh, that's not good."

"Not at all." I cried.

Mariana’s face softened. “Did he say anything?”

“No.” Her voice broke. “He just… stood there. Watched me with an unimpressed look then he just left.”

Mari exhaled, pulled her into a hug. “Baby, maybe it’s not the end. Maybe he was..”

“I’m not doing the maybe game,” Teresa said, shaking her head. “I can’t risk it. This job… it was my second chance. I’m not losing it in some sex scandal.”

She pulled away and stood up shakily, going back to the laptop and re-reading her resignation letter. Her eyes stung as she read the letter that could completely crumble all she had ever worked hard for. Her entire efforts and dreams were about to get flushed.

“I worked too hard for this,” she whispered.

Flashback

She was just 17. Working in a cramped diner in a little community downtown Chicago.

“You forgot my change again, girl,” the customer barked.

Teresa winced. “I’m sorry, sir. I..”

“Don’t be sorry. Be useful.” He stormed off.

Teresa’s cheeks burned as the manager gave her a glare from the counter.

She barely made $6 an hour. Between waitressing at night and tutoring other high school kids in math during the day, her body was running on caffeine and panic. She still didn’t have enough for the biology textbook the professor insisted they bring to every class.

That night, she sat cross-legged on her bedroom floor, textbook open from the library, photocopying pages until her fingers cramped. She had just managed to borrow the notes of a senior and she spent her entire lunch break at work coping the notes so she could revise later.

Her aunt had slammed her door earlier after another argument about “the devil’s urges.” The spiritual chants and holy water had stopped, but the glares hadn't. She was still expected to do the chores while listening to their insults and taunting jabs at her.

******

Back in the present, Teresa wiped her eyes and stared blankly at the screen.

“I had five jobs in college,” she said flatly. “One to pay rent. One for food. One just to buy used textbooks. I bought lesson packs instead of makeup. I watched girls my age go on dates while I worked until 2 AM every night. I missed midterms once because I fainted from not eating.”

Mariana sat down quietly beside her.

“I got straight As,” Teresa continued, voice brittle. “I didn’t party. I didn’t drink. I didn’t kiss anyone. I didn’t even let myself look at anyone, because I was too scared I’d be seen as weak… easy…” She swallowed. “And now… all that work, all that sacrifice… ruined. By my body again. Why I'm I so unlucky to the point that I ruin absolutely everything.”

Mariana’s voice broke through the silence. “You’re not ruined.”

“I’m not supposed to want this much, Mari. I thought it would go away.”

Mariana shook her head. “No, baby girl. Your trauma doesn’t make you broken. You didn’t do anything wrong. You were just… overwhelmed.”

Teresa sat down again and pressed her palms over her face. “He’s going to fire me.”

“Maybe. Or maybe he won’t.” Mariana reached out, squeezing her hand. “But even if he does… that doesn’t erase how hard you fought to get here. You didn’t get this far because someone handed it to you, you earned it.”

Teresa exhaled shakily, then...

Ping.

An email notification lit up her laptop screen.

Subject: Office Test – 8:30 AM sharp

From: Mark Rexona

She froze.

Mariana leaned over and read it too. “A… test?”

“What does that even mean?” Teresa whispered. “Is it punishment? Is it just him playing with me?”

“I don’t know.” Mari looked worried. “But you’re not going in there alone. Not really. You’ve got me. And you’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.”

Teresa swallowed hard.

Tomorrow, she’d face him.

Even if her voice shook. She knew that she was wrong but she still wanted to plead her case.

As she got dressed up,she envisioned everything and anything that could go wrong. The smart thing to do would just to send the resignation letter and disappear but as she completed her simple makeup and stood in front of the full length mirror, she saw the woman that she had aspired to be for so many years. Alone, independent and free.

She just hoped that this one mistake would not cost her the future she dreamt of.