Chapter 9 | Are You In?

Lux

There are certain times I’m grateful that I’m blind. And as birthday party preparations are in full swing, this is one of them. 

I could hear my mom, aunts, or grandmas flipping out over some insignificant details like the color of the napkins and it just made me grateful they couldn’t ask my opinion. My opinion only mattered for food, and that had already been picked out over a month ago. 

We are only a couple of days away from our birthday party and I am so nervous about it. It’s going to be an enormous party with tons of visiting packs, which means the chances of me or one of the boys finding their mate were extremely high. 

Things haven’t been the same since my birthday. Silas and I haven’t been as close. Calvin and Iris are attached at the hip and both their scents changed which has been a change for me, and Kai is struggling to control his wolf and every day is working towards gaining control over him. 

I try to help. His wolf seems to respond well to mine, almost like they knew each other well in a past life. And from the conversations I hear them have, I really believe that’s the case. Kai never remembers the conversations; his wolf blocks him out and it’s like he doesn’t exist whenever Loki is in control.

At this moment, I kind of wish we had never turned 18. At least then everything would be normal. 

3 more days. 3 more days and the party is happening. Hopefully, in 4 days I can say that everything is going back to normal. 

Silas

Having to stay away from Lux is incredibly difficult. She’s my best friend regardless of my feelings, but since her birthday 13 days ago I’ve done everything I can to keep my distance. 

I see that she’s sad I don’t sit next to her, and it causes me pain to know I’ve hurt her. But unfortunately, this is just the way it has to be. At least for right now. 

Tomorrow is their birthday party and to be honest, I’m nervous about it. I think we all have some nerves regarding it because so many packs are coming to visit and celebrate that the likelihood of the rest of us finding our mates is very high.

I go for a run and push myself to run the perimeter of part of the pack. Because the royal pack is the largest pack, trying to run along the entire perimeter can take over 24 hours, even in our wolf form. I knew I would not do that today, but I could definitely lose myself in the run for a few hours. 

As I run, I see the King and Kai attempting to control Kai’s wolf and I can tell the King seems disappointed about it. I see Calvin showing Iris one of his favorite spots in the pack, but I don’t watch too closely because I know how newly mated people act, and I do not want to risk seeing anything!

I get near the waterfall, and I can smell that Lux is there and as much as I wanted to resist her because of my family’s intervention... I just couldn’t. This may be the last time I get to be around her, just the two of us, before we find our true mates.

I walk towards her, and she doesn’t even look my way as I come closer and instead simply says, “So, now you want to be around me?”

I let out the breath that I didn’t even realize that I was holding. She asks softly, “Why have you been avoiding me, Si? What did I do?”

The steps I take toward her feel heavy as I am weighed down by my guilt. I sit beside her and say softly, “I’m sorry, Lux.”

“If you’re truly sorry, then you would give me an explanation,” she spat back at me. 

I sigh and reach out to grab her hand so that I could show her how sorry I was, but before I even get the opportunity to, she starts talking. Her voice rises with every word and by the end of it, she is yelling at me as she says, “Why would you kiss me and then ignore me? Do you even realize how that affects me? I didn’t ask for you to kiss me! And now it’s all I can think of!”

My heart stops... she remembered? She didn’t act like she had remembered. I mutter, “I didn’t know you knew.”

She scoffs, “It’s not like you’ve been talking to me so that I could tell you. And it’s not like I want to announce it to the world when we aren’t even mates!”

She’s right... and she’s right to be mad at me. I have no way to respond. I don’t know what to say and I don’t want to make her more upset with me. She rambles, “Why did you kiss me? I’m not your mate and you have never expressed having feelings for me like that. And why can’t I stop thinking about it? All I can think about is your lips against mine and how you taste!”

I can’t help but chuckle at her outburst and she seethes, “It isn’t funny.” 

I attempt to collect myself, so she doesn’t get angrier, but I almost lose it when she says, “And why do you taste like cotton candy?! Like it doesn’t match your scent at all! Tell me how that makes sense.”

I roll my lips together to contain my laughter and once I knew I was good to talk I said, “I don’t know why I taste like that. I can’t stop thinking about it either, if that helps anything.”

She huffs in response and I continue, “I kissed you because honestly I thought I might lose you and I was scared. To be honest, Lux, I’ve always been drawn to you. And well, I really wanted you to be my mate. I don’t really know exactly why I kissed you. It’s just something I felt like I had to do.”

She looks like she’s really deep in thought and after a moment I say nervously, “If it makes you feel any better... I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it either. And you taste like salted caramel... not like your scent, either.”

Her head tilts back as she laughs hard at my comment. I can’t help but join in and laugh with her. After our laughter has died down, she asks, “Why have you been avoiding me?”

I should’ve known that she wouldn’t let me off the hook for that. I answer honestly, “Lux... I’m struggling to be around you right now. Especially after kissing you because all I can think about is your lips and how I wish you were mine.”

Her eyebrows are furrowed, and she frowns deeply as she thinks. I notice she twiddles her thumbs and by the way she opens and closes her mouth; I know she has something she wants to say, but she’s not sure how to explain it. She purses her lips and then says quickly, “Let’s do it, just for today.”

“Do what?”

She sighs, “Act like we’re each other’s mates... see what it feels like. Tomorrow, we both might be mated to different people, so we only have right now.”

I stare at her in shock, speechless. But she shocks me more when she sticks her hand out and feels for me and then swings herself over so that she’s straddling me and she brings her face right up to mine and her lips are a breath away from mine as she whispers, “Are you in?”

Even in my wildest dreams, I never imagined Lux to be so assertive. But the fact she knew what she wanted and was willing to do anything to get it was an insane turn on.

But... is this the best idea? I could have the best day of my life with her and then meet my mate tomorrow and have to forget about these feelings I have for Lux.

Is it worth the risk?