The Japanese hospital held me for another day. Sarah didn’t leave my side. We had both become convinced that Rebecca had sinister plans for baby trapping Colin while letting Sarah’s brother beat him into submission to go along with her plan. I had remembered that Rebecca’s family was incredibly well connected; she had managed to get away with anything and everything in high school without a single blemish to her record. I was fitted with a walking boot so at least I wouldn’t be completely immobile. I was released from their care and Emi met us with a driver to take us back to the dorms so we could collect our things. “You’ll be back next year,” Emi assured us. She could sense that we were sad to be leaving but understood both Sarah and I’s circumstances. We needed to get back stateside to sort out the mess that Rebecca had created for both of us. I was able to pack up relatively fast and opened my laptop to check email and AIM before heading to the airport. A reminder from Wexford’s
I spent the next few days at home with dad in a state of alcohol-induced numbness. Mom’s favorite drink was a chilled Titos with a lemon and I kept my tumbler full of it while reconciling being simultaneously grief stricken and angry at someone who is no longer with you. I felt robbed of time I could have spent with her, had I known. I shuffled through her desk, looking for clues as to what was going through her mind while I was away. I found every graphic design project I’d done in Japan proudly hung up inside the desk’s hutch, with a photograph of her, Colin and I, taken while out to brunch. I found solace that she had been proud enough of my accomplishments and had liked Colin enough to display them in what little room she had on her crowded bulletin board. Dad and I went through the motions of delivering the news to relatives and making cremation arrangements with the funeral home. Mom hadn't wanted a service; she simply wanted to be scattered at sea, at Wrightsville Beach. I ha
The salty sea air filled my nose. I looked down at my hands, illuminated by the fading sun. Unpolished fingers, clipped short with a square shaped art deco style engagement ring on my left hand. I look at it quizzically then surveyed the rest of my outfit. A crisp white v neck tee shirt and black Costco leggings. “No, no, no, no,” I screamed as I began to pound my hands on the manhole cover. Dad squatted down next to me, quietly shushing me as I was scaring a family walking back from the beach. I looked up at him with tears in my eyes as he pulled me into a hug.“I know it’s hard, sweetie, but 16 years is a long time and we needed to put mom to rest,” he said gently. I looked over his shoulder and at the giant beach house before me, where the Broadfoot Cottage had once stood. The faint squeak of a wheelchair turned my attention to the street, where a young man was wheeling an ancient woman on the sidewalk. “Did you run, child,” she asked. I looked at her, bewildered. “That poor wom
Justin grunted, "Oh yeah," as he came, like he was the fucking Kool-Aide man. I pursed my lips and reciprocated with a "Mmmm," but I was nowhere near close. I never was with my husband. And Lord knows I've tried but I simply could not get myself into having sex with him. Aesthetically speaking, Justin wasn’t not good looking - he was 5’10’’, exactly my height with dark hair and heterochromatic eyes that made him look more Bond villain than Bowie. We’d both gotten fluffier throughout lockdown. I’d tried to engross myself in cooking videos, to distract me from the constant presence of another person in my home. The condo I’d bought with my mother’s inheritance yet the dark, modern flat seemed more like a stylish AirBnB rather than a place I’d call home. My penchant for bright, happy colors had faded throughout Justin and I’s relationship and was replaced with my husband’s desire to maintain a visage of polished success. The only thing missing, he seemed to think, was children. Adding t
The next morning, I pulled on my black Costco leggings out of spite and paired them with Uggs, a crisp white V-neck tee and *the* Louis Vuitton Neverfull, which Justin was endlessly impressed by. I couldn't have cared less but it seemed to fit well with my basic bitch uniform and while embarking on a trip to scatter my mom's ashes, a basic bitch uniform seemed like good armor to hide behind. I tugged my blonde hair into a messy top knot and glanced at myself in the mirror. My blue eyes no longer twinkled, my skin looked dull and tired. I sighed and covered myself with an oversized pair of Ray-Bans and set off. I pulled my Range Rover into my dad's driveway in Seneca Falls. My parents had purchased the home, which backed into the national park, before Seneca Falls was *Seneca Falls* and though it was a simple colonial, the 8 acres of woods surrounding it were peaceful and home to many childhood forts. Justin had been yammering at my dad to sell; real estate was another investment aren
No one prepares you for how undignified scattering ashes is. Of course, it sounds like a lovely ceremony, letting the wind carry your loved one to their final resting place, but in practice, dad and I were washing out a plastic bag that was full of mom in the ocean and debating on what to do with said bag. We couldn't litter in the ocean, should we throw it out? What if it still had parts of mom in it and she ends up in some landfill in bumfuck North Carolina? "I don't think she'll mind," dad said, reading my mind and gently placing the bag in the park trash can. "She doesn't," the ancient voice came from behind us. Dad and I turned slowly towards a woman who looked to be in her 80's or 90's. "Actually, I'm 103," she said, reading my mind. Now she had my attention. "Child, you look just like her," she continued. "Your mama needed an adjustment too so she could cross paths with him." The old woman nodded towards my dad, who, like I, must have looked visibly shaken because a younger
My ears were ringing loudly and my stomach had dropped like I had just been on a roller coaster. I blinked my eyes open and looked down to see my square-tipped French manicured hand atop a manhole cover. It was dark outside and the faint din of party noise was in the background. "Cabrey, you alright?" I looked up and saw my friend Alexis. I hadn't seen Alexis since my freshman year in college and here she was, dressed in a pink ruffled mini skirt and a bedazzled Bebe baby tee. She stumbled a little as she bent down and grabbed my arm. "Up you go, there are cops following us." I froze. I had been here before, albeit 16 years ago. I bounced to my feet and looked around. I was in Wexford. There was no mistaking the worn out college town in the mountains. I quickly surveyed myself. Abercrombie army cargo pants were slung low around my flat, toned stomach. My top was a brown suede tie back. I gasped at the realization - I was about to be arrested. The trajectory of my life had changed i
Walking across campus, I felt excited to break free from my parent’s control and had wanted to push the boundaries. I had a firm 11pm curfew throughout high school and mom kept tabs on me at all times. It was a blessing phone tracking wasn’t available, so she couldn't see I was getting alcohol poisoning in a random field somewhere when I had said I was at a "lacrosse sleepover." I had felt a change within myself so I didn't feel an urgent need to go drink questionable punch in a dirty frat basement. My shift in priorities left me curious as to what else Wexford had to offer. I pursued the different club tables that lined the quad, beckoning freshmen to join their various activities. “Hey Ya” by Outkast blared from the speakers of one table while other freshman girls, sweating in their Juicy Couture tracksuits in the August heat of Southwest Virginia signed up for rush events. My introverted self hurried past the sororities and I curiously stopped at Wexford Outdoors. The university wa