Mind made up

POV: Vivian

The whole room blew up with whispers.

"Beta Marcus's daughter?"

"Is she crazy? Selling herself to another pack?"

My father stomped over to me, his face twisted with rage. He grabbed my arm so hard his fingers dug into my muscle, pulling me into the dark alley between two storehouses.

"Are you out of your mind?" he hissed, leaning close to my ear. "You're embarrassing me in front of everyone!"

I pulled my arm out of his grip and glared at him. I used to be scared of his anger. Now, looking at him, I felt nothing but disgust. "I raised my hand, Father. It's done."

"You will take your name back right now!" he barked. "Lori and I have plans for this family! You are ruining everything!"

"I know all about your plans," I whispered back, staring right into his eyes. "I stood outside your study, Father. I know about the new house. I know about Lori. And I know about the cheap hospital cot you're leaving Mom on."

His jaw dropped. For a second, pure panic flashed across his face. He’s a coward, I realized. He only acts big when he's stepping on people who can't fight back. But his face quickly got mean again. Before he could raise his hand to hit me, the Blood River elder walked down from the stage with a clipboard.

"Vivian," the elder said, looking at me with cold eyes. "You know the rules? If you get picked, you move to the Blood River estate right away. You can't talk to your family until the baby is born. And you get no title."

"I understand," I said. "Where do I sign up for the medical check?"

"In the side room," the elder said, handing me a blue paper. "Tomorrow morning at eight."

I took the paper without looking at my father. He can shake with anger all he wants, but he won't stop me. He's too terrified of a public scandal.

I walked outside into the cold air. My heart was pounding like a hammer.

"Vivian! Wait!"

I turned around and saw Sarah running down the steps. She grabbed my shoulders, her eyes wide.

"Are you crazy?" Sarah gasped. "Do you know what people are calling you? They’re calling you a whore! You're Beta's daughter, Vivian. No guy in this pack will ever want you after this."

"I don't care about getting a mate, Sarah," I said flatly. A mate? Look at what my father did to my mother. Why would I ever want a male to have that kind of power over me?

"What about the physical part?" she asked, her hands shaking. "You have to sleep with Alpha Gideon! For real. Until you get pregnant! He’s a total stranger! He… has a wife!"

A sick feeling hit my stomach, making my throat tight. The thought of a stranger touching me made my skin crawl. But then I pictured my mother gasping for air on a metal cot. "My mother is dying, Sarah. My father sold our house to live with his stupid mistress, and he's leaving Mom to die. Toby will be forced into the iron mines by next week. I need that money."

Sarah went quiet, her hands dropping off my shoulders. "Your father... he's really doing that?"

"Yes," I said. "So I don't care what anyone calls me. I'm going to that checkup tomorrow."

I walked home in the dark. The house was cold and silent when I stepped inside. Suddenly, Toby stood up from the kitchen table, slamming his fists on the wood.

"Is it true?" he screamed, his voice cracking. "The whole town is talking! Did you really offer to be a surrogate for Blood River?"

"Keep your voice down, Toby. Mom is sleeping," I said, taking off my coat.

"Answer me!" he shouted, coming closer, his eyes red. "How could you do this to us? Everyone at the training grounds was laughing in my face! Saying my sister is selling her body because we're broke!"

"We ARE broke, Toby!" I yelled back. Why couldn't he see it? Why was he worrying about his pride when our world was burning? "There is zero money left for Mom's medicine! How do you think we're going to pay for your school next week? We aren't!"

"I don't want your dirty money!" Toby spat, tears running down his face. "I'd rather work in the mines! I'd rather die than have you ruin your life for me!"

"It's not just for you! It's for Mom!" I shouted back.

"Stop it! Both of you!"

We both froze. My mother was standing in the doorway, holding onto the frame so she wouldn't fall, pale as a sheet.

"Mom," I said softly, stepping toward her. "You should be in bed."

"Vivian..." she sobbed, tears cutting through the dirt on her skin. She fell to her knees, coughing hard. "Tell me it's a lie... tell me you didn't do this..."

I ran to her, getting on the cold floor and wrapping my arms around her frail body. She cried against my shoulder, and every tear felt like salt in an open wound.

Toby looked at me with pure disgust. "You ruined everything," he whispered meanly. "You're disgusting, Vivian. A disgraced, shameless whore."

He slammed the door shut and ran out into the night.

That word hit me right in the chest. Whore. From my own brother. The brother I was destroying my dignity to save.

I held my mother while she cried. Let him hate me, I thought, staring at the blank wall as my own tears dried into a tight mask on my face. Let the whole world call me names. I’m going through with this.