Chapter 59: Sad And Lonely

Megan's POV

"Are you okay, Meg?" I heard Alice's voice since I didn't raise my head after I listened to the opening and closing of my office door since I was looking at my laptop, but I couldn't deny my mind was somewhere else. I could feel her stand up in front of my table, but I kept my head down.

"Come on, Megan, you need to talk with me." She said, and I raised my head and looked at my best friend.

"There is nothing to talk about, Alice. I will not lie to you; I am not okay." I responded as I leaned on the backrest of my swivel chair.

"The more we need to talk." She said, and I shook my head.

I felt guilty that I drove Ashton away that day, and it was late for me to realize he didn't have a car. Everything was perfect for us, and I was so excited to have him in my place, and I could see my son's excitement." I declared.

"But I don't have a choice but to drive Ashton away. I felt just glad Axel understood when I told him Ashton needed to go since Gael came to visit us, and I could see the disappointments on my son's face that day, but he didn't complain." I added.

"You better call or text Ashton, Megan," Alice added.

"There is nothing wrong if you make the first move." Alice continued.

"I saw the pain that registered on his face that day, Alice, and I am sure Ashton despised me, and I could tell he believed I chose Gael over him since I drove him away," I muttered.

"And if he wanted to see us, he could have come and revisit us. It had been three days, but I didn't hear anything from him." I responded, and I could feel the regret on my voice and my best friend's face saddened.

"I am sure, Ashton, was waiting for you to make the first move since he was afraid you would drive him away if he comes back to your place, Meg. And I agree with you; that was what he was thinking. You just got back together, and instead of telling Gael about you and Ashton, you chose to keep your mouth shut." Alice declared, and she made me feel worse.

"And no wonder he didn't call or text you, Meg. You can't blame Ashton, and I couldn't believe you were hugging Gael when Ashton walked away from your place, and I am sure he thought you have a relationship with the hot singer." My best friend added, and she made me feel so miserable, and I couldn't deny I miss Ashton so much.

"I didn't sleep that night, and I could still feel the pain I inflicted towards Gael and Ashton. It wasn't easy on my part, Al. How can I drive away from the man who helped me when I was so down and had no place to stay. Gael provided me a roof on my head, and he made me what I am today." I said, and her face fell.

"Megan, you helped him more than you will ever know. He earned millions because of you, and you don't need to feel guilty; besides, you couldn't reciprocate his feelings for you, Meg." Alice replied.

"Don't make it more complicated. Do you know that you are giving Gael false hope? You better tell him that you are still in love with Ashton, not the other way around. I understand your point, Meg. I get it that you don't want to hurt his feelings, but with what you are doing right now, you are breaking his heart more than you can imagine." Alice declared as she sat on the side chair while never taking away her gaze on me.

I know Alice has a point, and I wanted to tell Gael about Ashton and me when Ashton walked away from us that day, but I saw the misery on Gael's face, and it was enough to shut my mouth. And Alice was right; I don't want to hurt Gael. I care about him so much, and I wanted him to be part of my life, but we couldn't be more than friends since my heart would always beat for Ashton.

I didn't have enough sleep since I was thinking about Ashton every night, and for how many times I tried texting him, I ended up deleting the messages intended for him. I lay wide awake at night, thinking how I would talk with Ashton after what happened.

"I will text Ashton if you do not do it, Megan," Alice said, and I stood up quickly since her words stunned me.

"Don't do it, Alice; I don't have a choice but to attend our reunion," I said, and her face lit up.

"Are you sure about that?" She asked, and I nodded my head.

"I have something to confess." She said in more than a whisper, and my eyes got so big, and I suddenly felt nervous since her face turned solemn, and I could tell she had something to say to me.

"Alice, you know that I am in a dilemma right now, and I don't want you to add the burden in my heart since you can see I can't concentrate on analyzing the production report," I replied.

"Relax, Meg, all I want to tell you is I already confirmed to the committee of our upcoming reunion that we would attend before you could even say yes," Alice said. I am no longer shocked since I knew she was so excited to meet our batchmates, while I didn't want to go since I don't want to see those mean girls who made my Senior year miserable, especially Lauren.

 "There was a deadline for the payment, and I think Ashton had already paid for us since when I asked her where to deposit our payment, she said someone already paid for us, or maybe it was Zachary."My best friend added, and I could see that she was blushing after mentioning Zach's name, and I could say Alice liked him a lot, and I couldn't stop myself from smiling.

"I knew it, and I am only doing this because I wanted to see Ashton," I responded.

"Why do you prolong your agony, Megan, when you can come to his office? If you don't want to text or call, you can visit him at his office anytime." She said, and I looked at my best friend.

"Do you think he will not drive me away?" I asked as I thought about her suggestion.

"He is in love with you, Megan." She said, and I wish she were right.

"I don't know about that, Al; I am not sure if he feels the same way after asking him to leave my house instead of telling Gael the truth," I responded.

"Hey, all you have to do is believe in his love for you, have faith, Meg; I am sure nothing will change how he feels for you. Ashton will always be in love with you." Alice replied, and I wished she could be right.

"I don't think it that way, Al," I answered her.

"Are you blind? Haven't you seen the way he looked at you? Come on, Megan, Ashton is still crazy about you, and his love for you is not that shallow." My best friend said, and how I wish her words were true.

When I looked at the clock on the wall, I realized it was time to get out of my office since I promised Axel that I would come home early. And as I made my way out of my office, I found Alice waiting for me, and together we walked towards the elevator; and I couldn't stop thinking about Ashton, and I couldn't wait to see him.

The moment I arrived in our driveway, my son was waiting for me on the front porch, and this is one of the things I enjoyed being a mother. Seeing my son waiting for me after a tiring day would make me feel so happy, and I could say all the stress I felt in the office would be gone the moment I saw Axel running on the ground to meet me.

"Mommy!" I heard my son's sweet voice as he met me halfway, and I widely opened my arms for him. I am so afraid if he will ask me about Ashton's whereabouts again, and I hate that I ruined their relationship as father and son because of the poor decision that I made, and I wanted to make up with Axel the moment I met his father.

I couldn't believe Ashton would be a no-show, I expected him to visit Axel after one day, but he didn't show up. If he wanted to take part in Axel's life, he should be there for our son, even if I hurt him. 

And I couldn't deny I wanted to have a glimpse of my boyfriend, and tomorrow I will follow Alice's advice by visiting Ashton at his office because I needed to do it for Axel's sake. I have to lower my pride and ask Ashton to see our son.

"Mom, are you angry with my dad?"Ashton asked as we walked inside our house, and I shook my head.

"Of course not; I don't hate your father, Axel," I responded, and he smiled at me.

"Why did you ask, son?" I asked him, and his face lit up.

"I wanted to invite dad to come here to our house." He said, and I could feel the pang on my chest as I realized my son missed his father so much.

"Dad picked me up from school today." He added, and I could see my son's happiness all over his handsome face.

I was surprised, and I felt so hurt since Ashton didn't wait for me, and I could tell he was avoiding me.. Now there was no reason for me to come to his office since he made an effort to meet Axel, and I couldn't stop my heart from feeling so sad and lonely as I realized Ashton didn't want to see me anymore.