Chapter 6

Ivy

I spent the rest of Thursday pretending I wasn’t thinking about him.

Which was impressive, considering I thought about him on the walk back to my apartment, while I reheated leftover rice that tasted like nothing, and again while I sat on my bedroom floor counting the money I could send my brother this month.

Eat something before the next session.

The nerve of him.

Ryder Knox did not get to look at me like that and then act like he gave a shit whether I ate. He didn’t get to call me Jenner like it was his to use. He didn’t get to throw Kane’s girlfriend in my face like he had any right to comment on who I looked at.

I stabbed my fork into the rice and muttered, “Asshole.”

My phone buzzed.

Unknown number:

you left your highlighter.

I stared at it. Then another message came in.

Unknown number:

it’s pink. very you.

I didn’t answer. Two minutes later:

Unknown number:

this is Ryder. dr miller gave me your number. don’t make it weird.

I made it weird by staring at the screen for a full minute like the phone might explode.

Me:

Keep it.

Ryder:

damn. cold.

Ryder:

see you tuesday jenner

I turned my phone face down and went back to my rice. It still tasted like nothing. My face felt too warm.

Friday was Chemistry lab with Kane.

I arrived early, same as always, and claimed our usual bench. Kane showed up three minutes late with two coffees and that easy smile that made people relax without trying.

“I wasn’t sure how you take it,” he said, setting one in front of me. “So I went basic. Black. You can judge me if it’s wrong.”

I blinked. “You didn’t have to.”

“I know.” He dropped his bag and started setting up like it was nothing. “You looked like you needed it last time.”

Last time. Meaning he’d noticed. Kane noticed things without making them feel like a performance. That was the problem. It made my crush feel less stupid than it probably was.

“Thank you,” I said quietly.

We worked through the experiment with easy conversation. He asked about Radiography. I asked about the team’s next game. He didn’t once mention Ryder, which I appreciated more than I wanted to admit.

Near the end of lab, he glanced over. “You tutoring Knox going okay?”

I hesitated. “He’s… a lot.”

Kane laughed. “That’s one word for it. He’s not as much of a dick as he acts like, though. Most of the time.”

“Most of the time,” I repeated.

“Yeah. The rest of the time he’s exactly as much of a dick as he acts like.”

That pulled a real smile out of me before I could stop it. Kane saw it and looked pleased with himself.

I told myself that was enough. Kindness. Coffee. A normal conversation. I didn’t need anything else from anyone, especially not from the hockey captain who thought the world owed him attention.

Saturday I picked up an extra tutoring student for two hours and used the money on groceries that would last the week if I was careful. Sunday I video-called my brother for eleven minutes before his foster mom said it was time for dinner. He asked if I was eating enough. I lied and said yes.

Monday I almost walked into Nora Whitmore.

I didn’t know her name then. I just knew the type. Blonde. Expensive coat. The kind of pretty that looked like it had never had to wait for anything. She was standing outside the student union with two other girls, laughing at something on her phone, when I passed too close and my bag brushed her arm.

She looked at me the way people looked at a smudge on glass.

“Watch it,” she said.

“Sorry.”

That was it. She already turned back to her friends. I kept walking, face hot for no good reason, and told myself I would never see her again.

I was very wrong about that. I just didn’t know it yet.

Tuesday I got to the academic room five minutes early and found Ryder already there. Again.

He had my pink highlighter sitting in the middle of the table like evidence.

“Returned your property,” he said. “You’re welcome.”

“I told you to keep it.”

“And miss the chance to annoy you? Come on.”

I sat down and pulled out the new packet without looking at him too long. He was in a black hoodie today, hair messy in that expensive way, one elbow on the table like he owned the chair, the room, and my patience.

“You eat?” he asked.

I opened my laptop. “Do the first problem.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“It’s the only one you’re getting.”

He clicked his tongue. “Still mean.”

“Still failing.”

He actually grinned at that, like I’d complimented him. “You rehearsing these lines, or do they just come out?”

“They come out when you talk.”

“Then I should talk more.”

“Please don’t.”

He started the worksheet. For a while it was almost normal. He worked. I corrected. He muttered “this is bullshit” under his breath every time a question got longer than three lines. I ignored him until I couldn’t.

“You’re doing better,” I said before I thought about it.

His pen stopped. “Was that a compliment?”

“It was an observation.”

“Sounded like a compliment.”

“Don’t get used to it.”

He leaned back, studying me with that same look from last week. Too focused. Too interested. It made my skin feel tight.

“Kane said he had lab with you Friday,” he said, casual in the way that wasn’t casual at all.

My stomach dipped. “So?”

“So he bought you coffee.”

I stared at him. “Are you having your friends report back to you now?”

“He mentioned it. Don’t make it a thing.”

“You’re the one making it a thing.”

Ryder shrugged, but his jaw had gone tight. “Just didn’t know you two were that friendly.”

“We’re lab partners.”

“Uh-huh.”

I pushed my glasses up. “Do you interrogate every girl he talks to, or am I special?”

His mouth twitched. “There it is again. Special.”

“That wasn’t—”

“Relax, Jenner. I’m just talking.”

He wasn’t just talking. I could feel it. The same restless energy from the first session, only sharper now. Like he’d decided I was a problem he wanted to pick apart.

I pointed at the page. “Problem four.”

He did it. Slowly. Watching me more than the paper.

When the hour ended I packed faster than last time. He didn’t try to stop me, but his voice followed me to the door.

“Same time Thursday.”

“I know the schedule.”

“And Jenner?”

I hated that I paused.

“Next time you lie about eating, at least make it believable.”

I walked out with my pulse in my throat and his highlighter still sitting on the table behind me.

I told myself I left it on purpose.

I didn’t believe that either.