Chapter 16 - Going Back To The Beginning

CHIARA

"How old are you?", Massimo's hand leaves my chin and gently tugs on my lower lip before he let's go

"I'm 10... can you take me to my Papa and Mama please?"

He ignores me and instead, his eyes look like he's in deep thought, " 10 years old...you are young but then my dear Chiara, Ti attenderò, tesoro mio, e quando sarai mia, ti prenderò tutta, anima e corpo, e ti farò mia, completemante e per sempre".

I had not understood his words then, but now I do.

"I will wait for you, my treasure, and when you are mine, I will take you completely, body and soul, and make you mine, entirely and forever."

Massimo's promise to me when I was 10...and I forgot it. Oh I did not. I was forced to lock up my memories in the deepest parts of my mind. Is that why Massimo was so evil to me? Of course. He waited for for me for years and I was out there living my life. I even got engaged! He must have been so hurt. Why did Papa do that? Was he really against his daughter and his friend's son being together?

I try to run my hands through my hair but they are stuck. What's wrong? I can't open my eyes too and I can't move any other parts of my body. What's wrong? Oh my God! Am I dead? What happened to me? The stairs!! I fell and passed out, but why can't I move? Am I in a coma? I feel myself slipping away again into another memory.

I slipped into the training room, my heart racing with excitement. I had been watching Massimo slip into this training room for a while, and not come out for a very long time. Sometimes, I wouldn't see him until I left the mansion. It felt like he was avoiding me but that would not stop me. And now, I had finally worked up the courage to sneak into his training room and see him up close.

As I entered the room, I was struck by the sight of Massimo shirtless and sweating, his muscles rippling beneath his skin like a work of art. His broad chest and shoulders seemed chiseled from granite, and his six-pack abs were defined and hard. I couldn't help but stare at the way his biceps bulged as he lifted weights, his triceps flexing with each movement. Is he really just 4 years older than me? I look like a kid and he is already a man! Everything about him is mesmerizing, but it was his eyes that truly caught my attention. Dark and intense, they seemed to bore into my soul, as if seeing right through me. They were the kind of eyes that made you feel like you were the only person in the world, and I felt myself getting lost in their depths.

Massimo looked up and caught my eye, he looks surprised for a second but a hint of a smile eventually plays on his lips. "Well, well, well," he said, setting down the weights and walking towards me. "Who do we have here? My favourite girl"

I felt a shiver run down my spine as he approached me, his eyes locked on mine. I tried to speak, but my voice caught in my throat. All I could do was stare at him, my heart racing with excitement.

Massimo chuckled and reached out, gently brushing a strand of hair out of my face. "You're getting more and more brave, aren't you, Chiara?" he said, his voice low and husky.

I nodded, still unable to speak. Massimo's touch sent shivers down my spine, and I felt a flutter in my chest. I was 12 years old, and I was head over heels in love with Massimo.

As I stood there, frozen in awe, Massimo leaned in close, his breath whispering against my ear. "I'm glad you're here, Chiara," he whispered. "I've been waiting for you."

I wake up from the memory but I still can't open my eyes. I try to pry my lids open but they don't budge. I give and just allow myself fall back into my memories as they played in my head.

"Chiara dear, look at me", the strange woman is sitting beside me on the chair and smiling softly at me. My eyes find her name tag that says "Dr. Sylvia".

"I promise, you would get to see Massimo after I treat you."

My eyes widen and I smile, "Okay, let's do it".

Dr. Sylvia's eyes locked onto mine, her gaze gentle but piercing. She reached out and took my hand, her touch warm and reassuring. Her fingers wrapped around mine, applying a gentle but firm pressure, as if to anchor me in the present moment.

"Chiara, I want you to relax and focus on my voice," she said, her tone soothing and hypnotic. "Have you ever been on a beach?", I nod and she continues, "Imagine yourself standing on a peaceful beach, feeling the warm sand beneath your feet and the cool breeze on your skin."

As she spoke, Dr. Sylvia began to count backwards from ten, her voice steady and calm. "Ten... nine... eight... seven... six... five... four... three... two... one." With each number, I felt my body relax further, my muscles releasing their tension as my mind began to unwind.

Dr. Sylvia's voice grew more distant, but I could still hear her words, echoing in my mind. "Feel the weight of your body sinking into the sand, the sensation of the grains shifting beneath you. Imagine the sound of the waves crashing against the shore, the salty scent of the ocean filling your lungs."

As I breathed in, I felt my body relax even further, my mind growing quieter and more focused. Dr. Sylvia's voice continued to guide me, her words weaving a spell of relaxation and suggestibility around me

"Now, Chiara, I want you to imagine a staircase leading down into your subconscious mind," Dr. Sylvia continued, her voice gentle but authoritative. "With each step, you'll feel yourself becoming more relaxed, more open to suggestion. Imagine the staircase descending deep into your mind, each step taking you further and further away from the surface."

I pictured the staircase in my mind, feeling myself descending deeper into my subconscious with each step. The air grew thicker and heavier, the darkness more profound. Dr. Sylvia's voice followed me, her words echoing off the walls of my mind.

"As you reach the bottom of the staircase, you'll find a door," Dr. Sylvia said, her voice low and hypnotic. "This door leads to your deepest memories about Massimo and everything you ever felt is in here. But you don't have to open it, Chiara. You don't have to confront what's inside. Instead, you can simply lock the door, seal it away, and forget."

I felt a surge of resistance, a desire to open the door because of Massimo. But Dr. Sylvia's voice was insistent, her words weaving a spell of forgetfulness around me.

"Lock the door, Chiara," she repeated, her voice firm but gentle. "Seal it away, and forget. You don't need to remember. You don't need to know."

And with that, I felt a strange sensation, as if my memories were being pulled away from me, locked deep within my subconscious mind. The door slammed shut, and I felt myself being pulled back up the staircase, back into the present moment.

As I emerged from the hypnotic trance, I felt disoriented and confused. Dr. Sylvia's face swam into focus, her eyes locked onto mine.

"Chiara, can you hear me?" she asked, her voice soft and gentle.

I nodded, still feeling dazed and disoriented. Dr. Sylvia smiled, her eyes crinkling at the corners.

"Good," she said. "You're doing very well, Chiara. Very well indeed."

I sept off and the next time I woke up, I was in a new country.

My parents always told me I grew up there, and I had no reason to doubt them.

My eyes slowly open and I sigh in relief before taking in my surroundings. I'm in my room and Massimo on the bed beside me. I gaze at Massimo and I'm struck by the sheer proximity of his face to mine. He's sleeping on his side, facing me, and I can see every contour, every feature, in exquisite detail.

His eyes, though closed, are fringed with thick lashes that cast a shadow on his cheeks. His nose is straight and proportional to the rest of his face, and his lips... his lips are full and inviting, even in repose.

A lock of dark hair has fallen across his forehead, partially obscuring his eyes. It's a bit messy, as if he's been running his hands through it, and I find myself reaching out to brush it away.

My fingers tremble slightly as I make contact with his hair, the soft strands slipping through my fingertips like silk. I gently push the lock aside, revealing the full extent of his face.

Massimo's skin is smooth, with a subtle sheen that hints at his Italian heritage. His jawline is strong, defined, and his cheekbones are high and sharp.

I continue to study his face and I notice the faintest hint of a scar above his left eyebrow. It's small, barely noticeable, but it adds a touch of ruggedness to his otherwise chiseled features.

I find myself tracing the outline of his face with my gaze, drinking in every detail. I remember everything now and now that we're in this position, I realize that I still feel what I felt years ago. There's something about him that draws me in, something that makes me feel... safe, I suppose. Protected. Isn't it funny that I feel that way for my abuser? But that was before I knew about our history, right?

And yet, even as I feel that sense of security, I'm aware of the danger that lurks beneath his surface. The intensity, the power, the unyielding determination... it's all there, simmering just beneath the surface.

I gently tap him awake.

"Massimo, we need to talk.