SOPHIE HUNTSBERGER found her way to a new life and new family when she ran from the physical and sexual abuse at the hands of her father. She has blossomed, healed in ways she never imagined she would or could within the safe arms of her adoptive family. ARRICK CARRERO has been her rock, her best friend and her protector for years, but even he cannot get to the root of her growing emptiness. Sophie is lost. And she's reaching out for anything to fill the void and cure whatever ails her. When Sophie realises the answer has been within arms reach all along, she’s unable to prepare herself for Arrick’s spiralling emotions. What was once innocent now comes into question - and life does not always let the heart prevail. Characters that will break your heart, as well as each other’s.
View MoreArrick Carrero
Arrick glanced down at his phone lighting up in the center console of his car and sighed as Sophie's name flashed on screen. That air of irritation and anxiety mingling together and pushing solidly to the surface. He was running late as it was, which he hated like crazy, but he knew for a fact that whatever she wanted he would give in to. Sophie just had a way of getting under his skin, even when she was being as infuriating as in the past months, and try as he might, he had no willpower when it came to her. Hitting his dash, that connected to his phone, her voice rang around the interior of the car as soon as he pressed it.
“Arrick … Arry? Are you there?” She was slurring badly, most likely way too drunk again, and he couldn’t do anything but sigh and reel in the urge to be mad at her, picturing her in his mind’s eye and getting stressed. He hated knowing she was out there in that state; calling him meant she was probably alone and those sad act, so-called friends of hers, had yet again ditched her. His temper rose internally, heart rate rising, and muscles started to tense.
“Yes, Sophs, I’m here. Where are you this time?” He knew why she was calling, she needed picking up again and as he checked his dash for the time, he cursed quietly.
Natasha would be waiting for him, it was another ten minutes to her apartment, and he could guarantee Sophie would be in the opposite direction, back in the city. Once again, he would have to choose between his girlfriend and Sophie, and they all knew he would always go where she needed him, without hesitation.
Lately, Natasha and he had argued way more about how much time he spent running after Sophie, but he couldn’t help it. He felt responsible for her, after years of being the one person she turned to, he cared about her so damned much that the thought of her being drunk and vulnerable out there somewhere, was making him sweat. Sophie was a weakness, one that he had never truly understood. Putting it down to years of seeing her vulnerable and in need of being taken care of, and him being a protective person who cared a little too much about what happened to her. She was the closest thing he had to a sister, and he always figured that’s what this was.
“I’m at Randy’s club alone, Arry … I lost everyone and I can’t find my bag.” She sounded so young and vulnerable, sucker punching him in the gut, winding him around her little finger effortlessly. All it took was a tearful tone and he could picture those Bambi eyes, all huge and soft blue like a wounded kitten, and that perfectly pouted mouth trembling, ready to cry. He gritted his teeth as the stab of anxiety hit him hard. Sophie was young and beautiful, a little too beautiful if he was being honest, and a prime target for assholes and creeps who tended to seek her out. She just attracted trouble without even trying.
Randy’s club was a twenty-minute drive back, if he picked Natasha up first there would be a catfight in here for sure. Despite the numerous times he had them together, neither seemed to warm to the other. He also didn’t like the thought of leaving Sophie in that god-awful place longer than he had to and picking Tash up first would do just that. He had no energy for another ‘Tasha-Sophs’ scene and was already U-turning his car in the street, back to her without hesitation. His hands already making the choice even when he’d still been mulling it over.
Natasha would understand, she would moan at first and get upset, but ultimately, she had to accept that Sophie would always be a part of his life, and he would never stop taking care of her. She was his best friend; someone he had spent six years being a rock for when she had faced reliving the trauma of her own childhood at the hands of an abusive parent.
Sophie was a part of him, a bond formed over years of helping her find her feet in her new life in her new adoptive family’s home, and in a safe environment. They had clicked, somewhere between looking at him like she didn’t trust him and wanting him to fall into a crater, and the first time she allowed him to buy her a milkshake without acting like she wanted to punch him in the balls.
“I’m on my way, Sophs, go back in the club and stay there until I come get you.” He sounded pissed, hell, he was pissed, even if he was trying not to show it. She was getting too damned frequent with these situations she put herself in, and she no longer even listened to him, or to reason anymore. It just made him sick to his stomach to think how many close calls or dumb situations she’d gotten herself into that she didn’t call him for.
Turning nineteen last year had somehow seemed to flick a switch in her head that she should live wild and party like Leila, her sister, used to do. It was simpler when she was just a kid, hanging out and easy to guide, being happy to just chill and watch a movie, rather than go out getting drunk and laid. And that part was something he just didn’t allow himself to think about at all; Sophie and sex were two topics he never wanted to link in any way, shape or form, and he sure as hell didn’t want to meet any of the assholes she dated.
It was a hell of a lot easier when she was a big-eyed fifteen-year-old who followed him around obediently and looked up to him for advice, hanging on his every word. He missed that girl like crazy; he often thought about her and longed for the days when the two of them used to be able to just chill, sofa surf and share junk food, with that easy effortless quality time together.
Natasha wasn’t one for any of that; she hated most of the stuff that Sophie and he loved, and the fact she didn’t see what he did in her made things more strained. There was no common ground between the two women.
He knew he wasn’t around as much for Sophie as he had been in the past because of it, and lately, all he did was pick her up from bars and clubs and take her home to recover when she was a mess. They barely talked about anything at all when he saw her.
He was too old for this shit now. He was turning twenty-six in a few months, and the last thing he needed anymore was all this drama, every week of his life with her. He missed the Sophie who used to be happy to go out with him, go away together or just hang out doing normal stuff, like jet skiing, playing Xbox, snowboarding, watching foreign cartoons and vegetating, or any of the other pastimes they had shared in the past few years. He missed the small things, before she started dating assholes, and living on the edge of wild. He just missed her, endlessly.
What he wouldn’t give for a sober call, and that sweet voice on the other end just asking him how his day was, instead of crying for another rescue. He had no clue how they had even got here.
“Are you mad at me?” Her crestfallen tone and the start of tears made him instantly guilty, that ache in his stomach and pang in his chest. Sophie wasn’t much of a crier unless she thought Arrick was pissed at her and he never understood why she fell to pieces when he was mad. She sure as hell didn’t give a shit if any of her adoptive family got pissed at her, especially not her sister or Mom, whom she had been closest to. To his recollection, she didn’t really get upset when her own friends did, but then Sophie had found keeping friends outside of the family hard, especially with her past and all the demons it held. She didn’t really trust people enough to form real bonds, so he knew how important it was that he stayed in her life, even when she was behaving like a train wreck on a path to destruction. Not that he had a choice; life had a way of feeling empty when he didn’t hear from her for weeks, and thankfully he had only endured that a couple of times.
“No, Mimmo, I’m not mad, Sophie. Go inside, stay warm and wait for me.” He tried to soften his tone, soothing her drunken ruffled feathers gently, in a bid to coerce her to do as he wanted. When she was like this, she was an overgrown child he needed to manage carefully; that internal spitfire of hers ready to overreact and bite, even if it only hurt herself.
I deserve it, I know I do, probably worse, it’s not even that painful but as I stare at her again, I can’t hide how much it actually wounded my heart. Sophie has lashed out at me before, sure, in crazy ways, frenzy fueled attacks when lost in her pain or triggered with her PTSD, but she’s never slapped me in the face for anything. This was a direct ‘how fucking dare you’ kind of assault that speaks volumes to the depths of the carnage I’ve caused on her soul.“You lost me. You don’t get to do that anymore.” She wails at me, pulling my hands and arms from her body and shoves me back with as much force as she can muster. Prickly, seething, hating me with utter crushing heartbreak. She’s breathing as heavily as I am although her pain and hysteria seem to be calming mine and I know I need to stay patient and cool if I’m going to bring her down from fierce.I know how to deal with her at her worst, I can hand
Arrick’s POV~ Leila’s party ~Leila’s party is losing its sparkle for me. Too drunk, too miserable at having to see Sophs swanning around with golden boy Christian all night and I am done with being here. I’ve said my goodbyes to my brother and I’m leaving before I do something stupid I’m going to totally regret concerning ‘boyfriend’ and drag Sophs into a dark corner to kiss the shit out of her if I stay here. Seeing her looking this beautiful, this happy with someone else is killing me.I spy Sophs, Leila, and Daniel huddled together at the front door as I head that way, a little too late due to not watching where I was going and swerve at the last second before she spots me. My heart lurching at running into her again when I’m already a complete emotional wreck. Hating that even still, my initial reaction to seeing her is a swift kick in the gut. Almost keeling sideways because I am way too
Arrick’s POV~ Seeing Sophie again. (Restaurant) ~I push the money in the driver’s hand as I follow Charlie and Tom out of the cab onto the sidewalk. I’m still tired from my three hours in the training ring and starving, it’s my turn to pay for lunch and I got to pick the venue. This place is new and no chance of Natasha hitting it with her colleagues on her lunch break either. I’ve been trying to put distance between us since the breakup, trying to stay out of her way and I hate that she has a knack for showing up wherever I am. It feels like she just won’t let go, and although I understand her pain at our breakup, it’s also stifling, and I just want her to move on. She won’t do that if she keeps trying to cling to me.“Hurry up, man.” Tom, my sparring partner today is impatient as hell and throwing me a look that is supposed to hurry me up. I straighten on the street and glare him down.
It kills me that I can love her this much and was stupid enough to give that up, to give her up. It’s so black and white in the clear light of my brain defogging and how fucking dumb I am. It was never about what my heart wanted; it was always about what was best for everyone else’s.I don’t want Natasha; I don’t think I ever really did. I want Sophie. If I’m being honest then I’ve always wanted her, needed her. It’s why I could never ignore the two a.m. cries for help. It’s part of my soul to be there for her to fall on, to depend on, to call, and lean on. I grew up for her and became her rock, gave her that safe space to grow and heal and kept the world at bay so it didn’t touch her. I created our bubble together so Sophie could thrive and feel secure, enjoy life without fear and I always told myself it was because I never had a kid sister and she just screamed out for protection. So precious, so angelic and I wanted to
Arrick’s POV~ Breaking up with Natasha ~Sitting on my couch, leaning forward with elbows propped on my knees, I stare at my cell for the millionth time and scroll to Sophie’s name on the list. Last call was twenty-eight days ago... twenty-eight long days of hell, silence, loneliness, and lack of Sophie. Twenty-eight days; the last time I felt anything but the constant absence of her and heavy pit in my stomach, from her disappearing in every single way, and leaving a gaping silent sunless space in my life.I’m missing her like crazy, keeping her last texts messages because it’s all I have left of her to hold on to. I scroll to the very last one, again. It’s a nothing text; I don’t even remember what it was in response too, as it’s not connected to the conversation before it. Just one single text, one that sums her up in so very few words and I stare at it as my chest heaves with that same ingrained weight
Natasha’sPOV~ Life after Sophie ~I watch Arrick push his food around his plate distractedly, eyes on what he’s doing, yet he seems completely detached from the here and now. We’re in a busy restaurant, the food is good, the company not so much; he has barely said two words the whole time we have been here, and he has had about four beers with dinner so far.Arrick never drinks excessively, normally, but I guess this sums up our life of the past three weeks. I’m irritated, upset but I am trying to keep the pleasantries going. I am trying so hard to not let it get to me, to keep a smile on my face, a positive outlook that we can get through this bump in the road of our relationship, but he makes it so hard.I try not to watch him too much as I eat my own food and give up on small talk. His nods and ‘hmm’ responses make me want to throw my wine glass at him, and I am trying to avoid all forms of naggi
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