Chapter 1

“Wake up, little monster.” I wrinkled my nose as I felt something tickling my nostrils while I was still half asleep. I somehow smelled that thing and it pretty sucks, smells like nature.

“Go away, Oshi. I want to sleep more. It wasn’t spring to wake me up with that vibe,” I snorted. Imbis na tumigil ang loka-loka kong pinsan, mas kinalikot niya pa ako gamit ang bagay na iyon. Amoy lupa na hindi ko maintindihan kaya naman wala na akong nagawa kung hindi dumilat.

Bumungad sa umaga ko ang nakangiti kong pinsan. Ang lawak-lawak noon at pakiramdam ko, ikapupunit iyon ng labi niya. Halatang nagpapa-cute siya na parang anghel pero imbis na haleluya ang background song, chant na ‘p.i.’ ang naririnig ko. Was there a black emo angel? But I could refer her as one...

“Why are you staring at me? Are you turning gay?”

“You look like a smirking demon, not a smiling angel, babe,” I commented as I gazed upon her looks. Oshlov had a mesmerizing deep eyes that complemented her Greek nose to show balance of strong feminine beauty. She also had wide medium lips which does not often smile, more like smirk every moment of her victory whenever she thought of something playful.

Napailing ako habang nagsusukatan pa rin kami ng tingin. “Damn. Paano ako nagkapinsan ng demonyo?”

“Kasi demonyo ka rin. Napaka-aga demonyo na naman tingin mo sa `kin. Tumayo ka na nga dyan.” She rolled her eyes then dragged me to the floor.

Hindi na ako nabigla at hindi nga ako nag-react dahil ang normal na Oshlov ay parang loka-loka. Kung titignan mo siya, mavi-visualize mo ang sungay at buntot niya.

Nasa sahig ako pero nagawa ko pa ring pumikit. Napasapo ako ng noo nang biglang kumirot ang sintido ko dahil sa hangover. We drank, got drunk, and wasted. Ni hindi ko na minsan talaga alam kung paano ako nakakauwi rito bigla. Buti na lang at ako lang ang nasa bahay at si Oshlov na madalas ay wala rin dahil mas layas sa 'kin.

“Ibiza Blessed Bartolome, can you freaking get up? Bibisitahin natin si Mommy. Anong oras na, oh. Mainit sa sementeryo kapag tanghali pa tayo umalis.”

I snapped and widened my eyes for what I heard. Shit! Oh, almost forgot. Sorry, Mom.

“MOMMY, it is your fifth year now. Matagal-tagal na rin pero heto, nandito pa rin ako for you. Visiting you even if I am busy,” I smiled.

“But she’s late. Multuhin mo nga `yan, Mommy,” sulsol niya naman kay Mommy na akala mo ay maririnig nito. I made face pero mukhang seryoso siya kaya sinamaan niya lang ako ng tingin. She turned to Mommy and spoke, “Thank you for being there when I was isolated by the people who supposed to be my support system. I love you, Mom. I owe you, my sanity.”

If there’s one person who can make her sit like an angel, that’s Mommy. Oshlov became her baby girl when she had nothing. Both of her parents already died. Si Tita Cleofe ay namatay noon sa aksidente samantalang si Tito Korben naman ay dahil sa sakit. Noon, hindi ko pa kilala si Oshlov and I had no idea about their family. Like me, only child lang siya kaya siguro mabilis kaming nagkaintindihan nang tumira na siya rito sa amin ni Mommy.

“I am done confessing everything. How `bout you?” Oshlov turned her gaze at me, kaya naman sinimulan ko na rin magsalita.

“Amm, sorry,” I uttered as I bowed my head. “You know, Mom, I love you but I really can’t stop my shittiness but I promise... I will do more, I mean less. Sorry,” I paused when Oshlov cleared her throat. “Another thing is, I can't be kind to all your relatives. Mom, I just can't take their attitude towards me and Dad. They keep on questioning why I still communicate with him even if you two were separated. That’s all. Always guide me, Mom. I love you,” I ended my speech as I touched her tomb.

“People prepare for their death

but no one is even ready in life.”

Cerann Vlyv Laforteza

November 25, 1968 - February 5, 2014

If love means losing a half of you just to make someone whole then I don't want it. Bata pa lang ako, mulat na akong hindi lahat may happy ending. I saw how Mommy and Daddy ended up pero bilib ako, they managed to be friends and civil because of me. Nakakatuwa rin kahit papaano. It was unexpected. Knowing my Mommy was a very straightforward and decisive person, agad niyang hiniwalayan si Daddy nang malaman niyang Dad was seeing someone that time which I thought, may mali rin si Mom. Siyempre noon, hindi ko naiintindihan pero I was just silently observing things and that made me realize, you only had yourself in the end and love should never ruin you. If it did, baby, it was not love.

“Where are you up to now?” Oshlov spoke. Napatingin naman ako sa kanya na parang nagpipigil ng luha dahil namumula ang mga mata niya kaya naman napakunot-noo ako.

“I need lapses. Ikaw?” But I did not mention that I noticed it. Ayaw ko ng drama between us. We should seek happiness in life. Masyado nang marami ang nangyari sa buhay namin. We already collected enough sad films in our cassettes so I must say that have fun was the key to continue living our lives.

“I will visit my vape shop later but I will visit George first. May pinalakad ako sa kanya tungkol sa renewal ng permit ko. Alam mo naman iyon. Maraming connection,” she answered and I just nodded. I got her thing because I also had mine. Oshlov got a vape shop and I was on an online fashion shop where I sold branded bags, shoes, and clothes. “Ikaw, hindi ka ba papasok?” she asked, sarcastically so I darted him a death glare then she laughed.

“My professor today hate me. Will he gave me an A if I come to class? Probably no so I hella don’t care for this shitty semester. Papasa ako cause I have the spirit saka kung tutuusin, kakasimula pa lang ng klase. Mom will make a way.” I stood. Pinagpagan ang damit ko at inayos ang pagkakatupi ng boots ko. “Have to go. My body is missing the water,” I calmly stated as if I didn’t mind if she also didn’t give a fudge about it.

“`Yan ang gusto ko sa `yo,” then she clapped.

“Bitch,” I uttered and at the same time raised a middle finger.

“Bitch you too, babe,” she rebutted like a obdurate-spirited kid as she raised her too middle fingers.