Chapter eleven

Diana

 

Muzan watched me as I went through the art pieces with a blank gaze like there was something else on his mind.

I kept looking at them and trying to put myself in the mind of this painter. A lot of them were about nature and animals in their natural habitat.

It kind of reminded me about myself again, and how genuinely trapped I was.

I realized that this painter was just like me. He yearned to be free.

Yet, he was hated, just like Muzan said.

Again, just like me.

All I wanted was freedom. I was hated for yearning to have autonomy in my life…about my life.

And the both of us were cast out.

500 hundred years apart and the story was still the same.

I felt like I needed to fulfill these paintings.

Like I needed to be free.

“What are you thinking about?” Muzan asked me after a long silence that stretched between us.

“Nothing,” I said instinctively. After the pressure died down, I pressed. “I should be asking you the question. What are you thinking about?”

“A lot,” he hummed.

He was so honest, and yet, at the same time, so secretive. It made me want to tear my hair off my head.

“Tell me one.”

“You.”

Woah.

“You are not going to last long here if you keep up this reckless act.” He told me. Oh, it made a lot more sense now. I thought he was thinking other things about me.

“Don’t worry about me,” I told him.

“I’m not,” he shrugged. “I’m just thinking.”

There was a long silence between us before he spoke again.

“Master Edric will not harm you,” he said like that was somehow the magical word I needed to hear that would have calmed me down.

I didn’t care whether or not he wanted to harm me. I cared about being trapped here. And the only reason I cared about it was because I didn’t want it.

I didn’t want to live out the rest of my life here.

“There’s food, water…and everything you could possibly want,” he went on, “and there’s nothing for you out there.”

“I wouldn’t know if I didn’t go,” I said, a plan already forming in my head.

“It’s unnecessary.”

“There was food and water in my father’s house, Muzan.” I cried. “And yet, less than three days ago, I wanted to toss myself off the cliff.”

He held his breath.

“I’m wolfless, I killed my mother during birth, and no one wants me.” I sobbed. Why do these tears keep coming? I should have run out of them already.

“Your master made a bad trade,” I told Muzan, as he stood up, not knowing what to say to me. “Maids in my pack had more respect than me. I was at the bottom of the barrel.”

“The master wants you,” Muzan said, repeating what Edric told me in his chambers. “That’s all  that matters, isn’t it?”

I didn’t know what to think about that.

But one thing was sure. Running away again? I was going to give it a chance.

I just needed the right opportunity.

The right opportunity came in the night.

This time, I deliberately did all the work I could do, just to make sure I could be the last one to go to bed.

That was because I wasn’t going to bed. The clock ticked, and the moon had disappeared, even though the sky was pitch black because it was the beginning of the month.

As time dilated, I knew I had to make my move.

I waited for a little more, moving aimlessly up and down the big house until I could hear snoring when I passed by Edric's room.

I would have checked on Muzan as well, but for the life of me, I couldn't figure out where he slept.

It didn't matter this late, though.

As long as I didn't hear his footsteps which seemed to be everywhere during the day, I felt like this would be a walk in the park.

I remembered Edric bounding out into the woods with his wolf.

That is how I would run.

Free, and into the wild.

I entered my room and waited.

Not looking long that I would fall asleep, but not too short. If someone like Muzan was awake, I needed him to at least feel like I was asleep.

After what felt like forever, I made my move. I opened the window to my room and allowed the chilly night air whoosh over my face.

This felt, over again, like the time I wanted to haul myself over the cliff.

Freedom.

Only, this was a different kind of freedom.

Steeling my mind and locking my jaws, I leaped.

My landing wasn't hard, even though I was a full story up. When I was in my father's house, I had several episodes where I had to do this...unto concrete.

So, doing it now, into the grass was a walk in the park.

As soon as I touched the ground, I tucked my body into a roll and waited. The landing wasn't rough, but if anyone was paying attention, they would hear.

I sat down and waited for the sounds of footsteps, so that I could pretend like I was doing some mundane task.

None.

That's when I took off.

In the same direction, I saw Edric go, I ran into the woods. The forest was dark and uninviting, every twisted branch pointing back to the clearing from which I came, but I refused to listen.

I kept my eyes on the freedom that was before me.

I ran, and ran...and...

Snap!

I yelped.

The ground gave way beneath me, and in a heartbeat that I skipped, I felt myself falling.

I hit the other edge of the hole, bruising my knees, and tumbled all the way down.

It went dark for a second, and I was wondering if I had died.

But the pain in my knees and hands reminded me that I was still alive. Just in a very terrible situation.

Oh, moon goddess!