Fear

Cara

As an Omega in one of the biggest packs in North Idaho, I've long accepted the harsh life my status brought upon me. My name is Cara, and I'm an orphan. I lost both parents in one night. During a collective hunt neither of them wanted to join, but were forced to do so by our arrogant Alpha Markus. I was sixteen then, and ever since their death, life has been hell for me and my sisters. My mother taught me the importance of the mate bond. She told about the mating ritual, how I'd first be bred by my mate in front of everyone, then marked by him. I hadn't given much thought to it until tonight.

Tonight. I'll be bred and marked by my mate tonight. I've had a whole lifetime up till this point to prepare. But now, all I want to do is bolt out of this room and run away, faster than my legs can carry me.

If Mother were to be alive and I tell her about my fears, I know she'd pinch my chin and say, "Weakness is of the mind. Confront your fear head on and watch it flee."

I miss her.

I know I'm not weak. No weak Omega survives in the Red Moon Pack for this long. I'm much more of a survivor. After all, we live in a scarred world, controlled by a virus and ruled by wolf packs, where the wolves of higher rank; Alphas, Betas and Gammas enjoyed picking on the least ranking wolfs and treated us like dirt. Since we were born, my sisters and I, the Alphas made it known that were only good for one thing. Rutting and making babies to keep the bloodline going.

I've always despised that idea. I've always wanted to revolt, but going against the Alphas of the Red Moon Pack is dire. Me and my sisters could get kicked out into the wild, leaving us at the mercy of the rogue wolf shifters who are always on the prowl looking for castaways to devour. So in as much as we hate life here, we make do with what we have. We endure, even if it means lying, putting on fake smiles and letting leering comments from the wolfs of higher rank.

The Red Moon Pack is our home. Where we grew up in. Where we'll always be safer in.

"Survival is for the fittest, and you my daughters are gifted," my father used to say. "Always keep your head high, and don't show them who you really are. They won't understand your worth. They'll seek to destroy it."

Father really meant well. And Mother drove his point home. "These Alphas have their egos controlling them. You must always seek to appear meek in their sight, even though you're not," she often warned me. "You're a Cursed. You are stronger. But you must never let them know. You must never use your powers no matter what, unless the situation absolutely demands it!"

"Earth to Cara," Hana chuckles, disrupting me from my waring thoughts. "Where has your mind been?" She's looming over me, combing my long hair as I sit in front of our cracked mirror in our run-down apartment. Would it still qualify as an apartment when it's practically falling apart? I guess not.

I inhale deeply, adjust myself on my seat. I can tell Hana knows about my panic as I look up at her. She tries to keep a straight face in order to encourage me, but I know her fear is as strong and overwhelming as mine. Like our mother, Hana's face is a perfect circle, her nose straight and pointed, and her lips full. But while Mother's eyes were as clear and calm as the deep blue sea, Hana's shone like piercing emeralds. Father said she must have been born from nature to have such shimmering leaf-green eyes.

Mine is pitch black. I don't know what I'm born from, and frankly at this point, I don't care. If I could trade my powers to be a normal girl, I would.

For my two younger sisters' sake, I force a weak smile on my face to keep them hopeful. Even if a sickening dread slowly fills me, makes me certain that something is bound to go wrong tonight.

I'm supposed to be over the moon, happy that the Moon Goddess was so kind to have me fated to a member of this pack. Otherwise, I'd be given to another Alpha for rutting since more than half of the pack is made up of Alphas who haven't found their mates yet. The rest are a combination of Betas and Gammas who are no different from the asshole Alphas themselves, and then, of course, the Omegas, who are completely at their mercy.

At first, I wasn't so enthusiastic about finding my mate. I could very well protect my sisters on my own. But after giving it a thorough thought, I figure I could use the protection of a man by my side in stride. The Red Moon Pack is patriarchal. My sisters and I would never be truly safe on our own. Especially as I am a Cursed. So, I need a mate to not only protect me and my sisters, but help me find their true, fated mates as well.

I shake my head lightly, exhale. Hana says nothing as she keeps combing my hair.

My stomach lurches the more I think about what's about to come. I hope my mate wouldn't be angry if I end up throwing up all over him. That would be the opposite of a perfect night, which I know he's been looking forward to. Vomiting on him wouldn't be a good first impression. Never.

"Do you think he'll treat us well when we all move in together?" Hana asks suddenly, her voice low, barely audible. Her cautiousness does nothing to still my nerves. We've stayed in the Red Moon Pack since we were born, and we've seen the crimes committed by the Alphas. According to what I later learnt from the Pack Doctor, my father was slated to take over as Alpha, but our current Alpha instigated the other against him and had him and my mother killed during a collective hunt. They lied to everyone that my parents died from a close, intense clash with the humans.

"He has no choice," I reply. Unlike the other Alphas, Ronan is calm and more tolerable. I feel fuzzy just thinking about our first and only meet, my body coming alive, craving him. Secretly, my body's reaction startled me. The thought of feeling a connection to someone I've barely even held a conversation with for five minutes isn't so appealing as it sounds. I guess with time I'll learn to put aside my inhibitions and grow closer to my mate, feel a strong emotion behind the mere desire to breed.

"If I were Cara, I'd be nervous. She's handling this ritual better than I expected," Leora chips in from across the room where she's seated on the threadbare mattress, twisting her doll's blonde hair into soft plaits. She looks up now, her features twisting in disgust. "I hear that Ronan has a pretty bad mouth odour due to the fact that he barely talks. You might pass out if you try to kiss him, sis."

Hana and I both laugh. Leora is the youngest of us at only ten, and judging by her sharp wits and blunt comebacks, her mate might have a lot on his plate to deal with when the time comes.

Hana leans in to whisper. "Mother told me that kissing should be the last thing on your mind on a night like this. Now, I know you're painfully unromantic, and the sizzling feeling you have for Ronan right now might not be enough for the both of you to rut. How will you cope?"

My stomach clenches at her words. Well, what can I do? I have to give it my best shot. This consummation of my connection with Ronan means a lot not just to me, but Hana and Leora as well.

"I'll try my best, Hana. It wouldn't be that bad. Or bad at all." I say with more confidence than I genuinely feel. Mother taught us the basics on the night she died. Let the man be in control as he mounts you. It's much better that way. There'll be pain, but it'll only be brief. It'll pass.

Hana leans down to press her cheek lightly against mine, the both of us staring at each other in the mirror. She's got a few strips of green mixed with her jet black hair, and she looks stunning, like Nature's Goddess at fifteen years old. She's caught the eyes of so many Alphas in this pack already, but thankfully, what's holding them back from claiming us is the chief Alpha. Their overall head.

A heavy knock sounds on the door, startling us all. Butterflies flutter about in my gut as I push myself up to stand, brush aside the lines on my gown.

"He's ready to receive you," a male voice booms from the other side of the locked door. Sweat trickles down my temples in torrents and I'm gasping for air.

As the ritual tradition demands, I'm clothed in a pristine white, stainless gown. It emphasizes purity. The dress is pretty simple, pain. I'd made a long belt out of some condemned ropes I found in the backyard and it helps keep the fabric in place at my waist.

I inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. You can do this, Cara. Just go, lie down on your back, suffer a little pain and voila! It'll all be done with and he'll show the chief Alpha proof that I bled to confirm my virginity.

"Keep taking deep breaths, sweetheart. You look gorgeous," Hana says hurriedly, pining a white rose in my hair. "Now, go. Don't keep him waiting. And don't forget to smile."

Leora engulfs me in a bear hug. "I know you're gonna slay. So go make me proud."

The bang at the door comes again, the wood threatening to fall off it's hinges.  "There's no time left on our side. Hurry up."

"I'm coming," I yell, hurrying to the door, tucking a strand of loose curl behind my ear. A faint spark of dark energy sizzle up my arm. It always happens whenever I'm scared.

"Calm down, Cara, lest you reveal your powers to him," Hana whispers angrily. "If that happens we can kiss this place goodbye because we'll be thrown out as bad bloods."

Bad bloods. Otherwise known as the Ruined, or the Cursed. The spoilt apples.

I hate the degrading words they've coined from half-breeds like us. Half-wolf, half-witch. Mother rang it into our brains as toddlers. She came from a long line of witches but fell in love with Father, a wolf. In order to live with him peacefully, she hid the fact that she was a bad blood for the rest of her life, and we had to do the same in order to blend in with the wolves. They'd never accept us as bad bloods. Never. If word got out about this, we'd automatically become outcasts and it's not just the wolves who aren't accepting of bad bloods. The witches too. Why? We are stronger. Dangerous, more than they could ever be, and so they sought to wipe us out.

I hug Hana, and her faint, grassy scent calms me considerably. "I'm sorry. You know I don't use it purposely. I'll be fine."

Being an Omega is already enough torture in this cruel dark world, but to be a bad blood is a fucking death sentence. An immediate execution.

"Go, now," Hana shoos me away. "Remember all mother told you. Be meek."

"I will."