Chapter Three

Jasmine

Jasmine got home late, around 11pm. The bus night ride was like yesterday, the day before that and the day before that, everyday since her mother died, she never entered the car, it reminded her of her mum the most, it was a birthday gift from her mum, even if it was a hand me down from her own father to her mother then to her. It still felt illegal to ride in it.

It carried so much history and memories, like the stains of coffee from the first time she and her mum went to a burger hut.

Or the shaky seat belt that made funny noises whenever she tried to use it, or how she and her mum would dance to the old cassette music from the late 90's. It was their own bonding time and she hated how much it hung around her even after her death. She was supposed to move on but no one is teaching her how to.

She walked on the stairs slowly, her hair was in a messy bun not the kind that is intentional, her jeans seemed unwashed for months. Her top had stains; coffee stains not from yesterday or the day before but from weeks ago. Maybe because she was too blanked out to notice that a kind of smell was starting to hang around her.

Each step wore her out, she had a shadow of heavy grief and burden on her shoulders. With her airpods on, no song was playing except rain sounds combined with white noises. They were supposed to make her sleep but they did nothing. The shadows that lurk around her room would never let her sleep. She got to the entrance of the door.

She met her wet noodle order alongside the cold pizza order. She ordered cold chicken pizza even though it was a confusing order, she insisted the order be cold when it gets delivered, she ordered it over an hour ago. Not like she was going to eat it or anything but she just wanted her life back. The one that ordered food with her mom then laughed about a messed up order. Her mother was perfect but those men ruined their family forever.

She sighed, her mind was as blank as a white paper with no ink. Each time she tries to get out of the past, the future looks bleak. Nothing ahead, just a girl trying to find a reason to live. Her face wore no expression, not a smile or frown. Emotionless, expressionless. Her rainbow fell off two months ago. She lost the part of her that had so much to say. Right now, the jasmine that lived in her is a robot.

She rolled her eyes and reached into her bags, she ransacked between two bottles of beer before she got to her keys. Maybe drinking on your doorstep was something she should try and she did exactly that. She sat on the couch and she pulled out one of the canned beers and she opened it. She took a long gulp and a faint smile made its way to her face.

Her room smelt like wet socks and unwashed clothes, soaked blankets; they have been filled with tears and drool. She slept anywhere she found herself or anything the drinks made her land.

She could imagine her mother coming back from work and meeting her drinking beer. The woman would screech about how the attitude was unladylike and Jasmine would wiggle her tongue at her. She missed throwing tantrums just to get a reaction out of her mother, she couldn’t do it anymore. Her mother was dead, gone and cold. This was her reality now, a sad broken girl without a will to live.

What was the point? Why didn’t she die with her mother? Why was she brought back when she fainted? She recalled seeing her dead mother beside her in the ambulance, her head was wrapped in a bandage and her clothes were, two weeks she said nothing while in the hospital. The doctors were scared, super scared for her.

Her mother was buried before she could get herself back, the hospital knew it was a shock, they just didn't know until she would get better.

She knew where her mother was buried, but she had never gone there for the second time.

She went to work and had patients but she was never herself.

"What is that?" She asked out loud when she saw a rose on the table; the same table she had the last dinner with her mum and where her mum got shot, she remembered how she washed the table and made sure it was neat, it was stained with blood

She was drunk, she had dinner beside her. But the rose was something she hadn't seen before, what was it doing on her table?

She stood up, in a staggered pace. The light got burnt yesterday, she wasn't even interested in how and why the fuse blew itself. The lights were dimmed so her room was dark but she knew what and where things were, the moonlight shined on the table and the rose glowed.

She decided to ignore it, she saw her window was open.

"The rats and birds didn't enter, but a rose did. Mum if that's you? I am fine. I got my beer and I can walk. I am fine." She didn't realize when she laid back on the bed and slept off.

The bottle fell off her hands, luckily it didn't break and it rolled down to her door. A strange man's foot blocked it from going outside.

She locked her door but somehow he got inside.

He smiled, he moved her hands from the floor and laid it on herself.

"Another night of beer!" He chucked underneath, his face wasn't seen. Jasmine snored loudly.

He took the rose. "I will be back tomorrow." He said to the air and disappeared like the wind.

The next morning.

Jasmine's eyes opened wide immediately, she sat up to see the bottles carefully arranged, she saw her room looked neat, the light bulb was working fine. She looked around in awe. She raked her hair.

"Am I dreaming? Can I feel my hands? She asked herself when she touched her face.

"I am not drunk, I am sure!" She said when she nodded her head.

"Okay let me check for the rose then" She said and hoped when she turned she would see the rose.

"It has gone!" She shrieked, she was sure she saw the rose alongside her opened window.

But this time the window was closed.

She jumped up in fear.

"Am I going crazy?" She asked herself as she hugged the door.

"You know what? Let me just change and go to work." She said but when she headed to the bathroom she saw a shadow. A strange one.

"Nah, I am leaving like this." She left her apartment, the door closed and jammed, with her bag she fled not a shower nor even brushing her hair. She left.

Later that evening.

Jasmine has forgotten the ordeal she experienced this morning, she slept off. Her hair wasn't brushed, her eyes looked sore, the eye bags were evident, she slept with her mouth open, she had files everywhere on her desk. She had some on her head, she slept and drooled.

"Jasmine! Will you get up!" Her boss yelled when she saw the state of her office, the floor was swept but the smell it had and how she looked was so disappointing.

"Uh, what?" She said as she raised up her head, her glasses were crooked, the paper stuck to her face. She closed her eyes and opened them again, she threw her head backwards. There was spilled coffee on her table too.

It smelt like coffee; stale coffee.

"You have clients! Uh I hate fresh college students!" Her boss yelled before she slammed the door and left.

She has two clients, a mother and a daughter; they escorted themselves to the seat.

"Good morning, how may I help you?" Jasmine asked without arranging her table, the spilled coffee and scattered files of previous clients were there.

The daughter who seemed to be in her late twenties rolled her eyes and crossed her legs, she scanned Jasmine.

How lucky is she? She has her mom beside her. Jasmine envied her clients but she didn't show it. She wasn't interested in how the daughter raked her.

"I want to file a restraining order on my mother!" She spoke with anger. The statement made Jasmine lose her bolt.

The session wasn't only something she hated, she got pissed too. The daughter didn't want anything to do with her mum.

"Alright, it's time for my bear so if you can, please leave my office and find some other psychologist and a lawyer!"

"You can't do that!" The daughter spat as, she stood up immediately.

"Yes I can, I really hate sob stories and loosers, so GET OUT, take your mother too!" She used the word mother, a word she said when she realised her own mother has left the world.

"You are so arrogant." The daughter added, Jasmine nodded and used her hands to show the entrance.

They stood up and left.

She didn't understand why they were like that. It fumed her so much that she cried afterwards. She missed her mother.

She entered her apartment, and noticed the bulb for the second time, her room was neat too. It smelt nice and her clothes were washed. She saw the colours that she didn't see for two months. The patterned curtains and the red rug. She saw the kitchen in a new light. The air felt different, it wasn't stuffy or dusty.

Am I in the wrong house? She asked herself when she looked around.

She stood by the couch, she saw fresh new bottles of beer.

Yes, I am definitely in the wrong house. She nodded and held her chest, scared she was and worried.

She scanned again, her heart started racing for no reason. She felt a strong gush of wind but she ignored it instead.

Her clothes were arranged in colours, she was still trying to understand what happened when she heard a voice.

"You are back early?" She turned immediately and dropped her bag; she saw him. A man with a rose.