Beginning of the pain

I was lost in thought, staring at the ceiling of my room, reminiscing about the good times in my life since I became the Luna of the Moonlight Pack. But it seemed like, I couldn't recall a single happy memory. Every recollection of my times in this pack house is overshadowed by the weight of suffering and sorrow.

I was lying on my bed, drowning in my thoughts, when the door to my room suddenly opened. My husband, Aldrake, walked in and approached my bed, throwing a paper bag onto the bed and giving me a cold, piercing stare. I took the bag and saw a black dress inside, which made me smile. 

"There's a celebration tonight for the unity of the Moonlight Pack and the Silvermoon Pack. Wear that dress. Amber picked it out, so you'd better wear it elegantly". My smile vanished when I heard his words, and sadness enveloped my heart when I realized Amber had chosen the dress, not him. 

"I don't want to take you with me, but I have no choice. Every Luna from the attending packs needs to be there. Amber would be a better fit, but the council from the Blood Moon Pack insists. So, behave yourself and make yourself suitable".

After delivering those hurtful words, he left my room without looking back. Tears streamed down my face as I felt my heart being pierced by a thousand knives. Every word that came out of his mouth was like a knife, that had been k*lling me softly. I felt like I was dying from the pain. Why do I still stay with him despite the pain? It's because I love him so much, that I'm willing to turn a blind eye and endure the pain, just to be by his side. 

I looked at the dress and smiled bitterly. Even though I'm always his second choice, at least I'll be with him tonight. I stood up and forced myself to regain my composure, determined to make a good impression. After getting dressed and doing my makeup, I went downstairs to meet Aldrake. But when I saw him sitting in the living room with Amber's head on his shoulder and her hand in his, my smile vanished. I felt a pang of pain in my heart. We've been married for almost three years, and I've never experienced such intimacy with him. 

"Aldrake". I called out, and their attention turned to me. Amber quickly stood up and stepped away from my husband, adjusting her clothes. 

"L-Livia, what you saw... it meant nothing". She stammered. 

I wanted to confront her about what I saw, but every time I try, I feel like I'm tongue-tied and can't speak up. Who does she think she's fooling? Doesn't she know I'm not that naive?.

"Don't explain, Amber. There's nothing wrong with what she saw. She's just being overly sensitive, if she reacts" Aldrake said, not even considering my feelings. 

"But maybe she'll get angry with me". Amber replied, looking down and fidgeting with her hands. 

"Look, you did nothing wrong, so don't be afraid. There's nothing wrong with what she saw. You were just feeling unwell and leaned on me, that's all". Aldrake said, comforting her. Then he turned to me and gave me a threatening look. "Tell her you're not mad at her".His voice was firm and commanding, and I felt like I had no choice but to obey. 

Why would I want to apologize when I'm not at fault? I'm not that kind of person. But I took a deep breath and forced a smile, looking at Amber. "I'm not mad, Amber. Like Aldrake said, there's nothing wrong with what you did". 

My voice was laced with insincerity, and I felt like my heart was being squeezed. I wanted to run back to my room and cry, but I couldn't. The pain of being hurt by the man I love is suffocating me.

"R-really? You're so understanding, sister".

I wanted to laugh at her words, but I couldn't muster up the laughter, and instead, I forced a small smile. I turned to Aldrake to ask if we were leaving, but Amber beat me to it. 

"Are we going now, Aldrake... I mean, Alpha Aldrake?". I furrowed my brow at her question and noticed her outfit - a white, long, fitted gown. 

Wait, she's coming with us too?.

"How many times do I have to tell you to just call me Aldrake? You're not a stranger in this pack house, Amber". I snapped back to reality when I heard Aldrake's words. Oh, right, he's allowing her to call him by his first name. Are they really that close, or are they just intentionally hurting me? And if it's the former, they're succeeding. 

"But--"

"No buts, Aldrake is enough, okay?. So, shall we?" Aldrake asked, and Amber nodded. 

He offered his arm to Amber, and she took it before they turned to leave. And me? I was left standing there like air. 

"Wait, Aldrake!". I called out to my husband, who stopped and turned around with Amber. 

I wanted to remind him, that I'm his Luna and I should be the one who has the right to clung my arm on him...

"What?!". He snapped. 

"N-nothing. Sorry"...but in the end, I backed down again. 

"Tsk"

They walked out together, leaving me behind, which made my wolf, Lilly, growl in anger. "You don't deserve to be treated like this, Livia. Leave him and find your happiness". 

"I can't. I love him so much, Lilly". I replied, gazing at the door they had exited through. 

"Stop being stupid, Livia! He's hurting you so bad, so leave him! You don't deserve a man like him! We don't deserve them!!".

A bitter smile crept onto my lips as I quickly wiped away the tear that had fallen from my eye. I didn't say anything else and rushed after them, fearing Aldrake's anger. 

When we arrived at the Silvermoon Pack, Aldrake approached me. "Don't do anything stupid, Livia. I'm warning you. After the appearance in front of everyone, I'll be accompanying Amber to introduce her to my friends and acquaintances".

"You don't need to do that, Alpha... Aldrake. Livia is your wife, so she should be the one accompanying you for introductions". Amber said, which made Aldrake turn to her.

"You're better being shown off, Amber. You deserve to be known by everyone".