Prologue

Amberleigh Dubois knew the chill in the room wasn’t the only reason for her goosebumps. On her right sat the father of her daughter, Grayson Godwin and on the left, sat his best friend since preschool Leo Clemonte. Both of the men whom Amber loved with all her heart, were in rapt attention to the doctor sitting in the chair across from them. But Amber had zoned out, she had to focus on something else to hold it all together.

The sleeping baby swaddled in a sling against her chest was a nice distraction. Amber peered down at her daughter who had a way of making the world seem like not such a harsh place by just one look at her angelic face. With a full belly, clean diaper, and perfect pursed rosebud lips, the little princess slept blissfully unaware. Amber had her suspicions her daughter was the only one in that cold room who’d gotten any sleep last night.

Amber smoothed down a tuft of silky brown hair on her daughter’s head. She loved the feel of it on her fingertips, loved everything about the little miracle she’d created who now slept in her arms. Of course, Amber couldn’t take all the credit. Grayson had helped create their perfect little person and loved his daughter more than anything. From her first breath, she’d had her Daddy wrapped around her tiny, perfect pinky.

“Are you cold?” asked Grayson.

He broke Amber free from her thoughts. She found the courage to muster a smile for him even though her heart was breaking in half.

“I’m fine,” she lied, “princess is still milk drunk. Sleeping it off. I feel like a milk tap.”

Grayson found a smile of his own. He smiled a lot more these days in spite of all they faced. Amber knew the little lady against her chest had a lot to do with that. He peered over to get a view of his slumbering princess. Felt her soft hair for himself, the same shade as his. Bent down and breathed in her sweet baby scent before he gave his daughter a soft kiss.

“The good stuff. Can you blame my daughter for having good tastes?”

Amber snorted. Humor helped. So did laughter, but her heart was still slamming into her ribs. She could still feel the tears behind her eyes.

“I heard her squalling from down the hall last night,” laughed Leo, “Leelee certainly has a good set of lungs on her. And no patience just like her father.”

Leo grabbed his friends shoulder and gave it a squeeze. Grayson chuckled himself, but Amber could still feel the underlying tension in the room. The doctor across from them shifted in her chair.

“Mr. Godwin would you like some time alone with your family before we begin?” she asked.

Grayson breathed out deeply. Amber held her tears inside. It was getting so much fucking harder to do. To hold them back. Leo’s hand stayed on his best friend’s shoulder. Amber’s fingers entwined in Grayson’s, but she wasn’t sure who was holding who in that moment. She couldn’t help but wonder if his hand shook not just because of the tremors.

“No. We said all we needed too last night Doc. I’m ready for this. I want to be able to hold my daughter without fearing I’ll drop her. I want to be able to not be fucking terrified one day I’ll lose it and hurt someone I love. I want to watch her grow up. Walk her down the aisle. And maybe one day meet her mother at the alter,” he gave Amber a wink, “I want to be around to be the sensible uncle for Leo’s brood cause they’ll need it with a man-child like him for a father.”

Leo laughed again, though Amber could see his brown eyes melting like chocolate.

“And you will brother. You’ll do all those things G-Man. This is only the beginning. I love you brother.”

“I love you too L-Dawg.”

Yeap, that fucking broke Amber. Watching Leo and Grayson embrace. Brothers by choice. Tears slipped down her cheeks freely. She snuggled her daughter a bit tighter to her chest, unable to think about if this didn’t fucking work.

The doctor got to her feet, “we’ve already talked about all the risks involved. This is virtually untested. So I’ll ask you one final time if you are absolutely certain you want to proceed with this Mr. Godwin?”

“Yes.  I’m sure,” answered Grayson solemnly.

She nodded curtly, “Then I’ll prepare. Take this time to be with your family Mr. Godwin.”

“Thank you doc. For everything. I know what a big risk you are taking in doing this. And I know what you stand to lose,” said Grayson.

“And I know what you stand to gain Mr. Godwin. That makes it worth it. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be back shortly.”

Amber held in her sobs. She focused down on her daughter. Her vision blurred. The doc stood to lose her license over this, her reputation, years of research and patents down the fucking drain. But Grayson stood to lose so much more if this went south. It could kill him quicker. And it would all be Amber’s fucking fault.

The click of the door shutting behind the doc drew attention to the silence which had descended upon the room. She felt Grayson’s arms enclose her. His voice whispering in her ear.

“Don’t cry tesoro. This isn’t goodbye. It’s hello. I love you Amber. I love all of you in this room so much it fucking hurts.”

He pressed his forehead against hers, careful not to hurt their little princess nestled between them. Amber sobbed. Grayson had been calling her treasure in Italian after she’d joked with him about them not being those pet name people. He’d spent weeks deciding on one he thought fit her. She didn’t deserve the name. She didn’t fucking deserve him.

Grayson kissed her forehead. He wiped at her tears with his thumbs gently before he gave her a beautiful smile. He didn’t look like a man afraid to die, he looked like a man ready to live. Ready to risk it all for that chance for more moments like this one. With those he loved by his side, kissing his tersero. He placed a kiss upon her salty lips. Tried to kiss away the hurt and leave his love behind instead.

The baby squirmed between them. A soft baby grunt and Grayson smiled down at his daughter. With tears in his blue eyes, he gave his baby girl another kiss.

“Daddy loves you Princess. More than you’ll ever know.”

“She will know brother. Because you’ll be there to show her,” said Leo.

Tears leaked from the chef’s eyes. More than just friends and brothers, soul mates. Soul mates didn’t have to be romantic love. Leo and Grayson had proved this.

With tears in his blue eyes, Grayson turned away from Amber and his little princess to his best friend. The one whom he’d practically started his life with. The man he wanted to end this life with when they were both old and grey. Together in their forever and always.

“Just remember your promise to me Leo. That if something does go wrong, you’ll take care of our girls for me,” managed Grayson.

Leo sniffled, his voice breaking, “You know I will.”

Grayson nodded. Content and determined. The Doc returned. And Amber felt the panic! She wasn’t fucking ready for this! It was too soon! They hadn’t had enough fucking time together. Fuck she hadn’t even told Grayson she loved him yet today!

“I’m ready doc,” said Grayson.

He was the picture of calm and grace. He was ready. And that was all that mattered. It wasn’t about Amber in this moment. She could be strong for him. For them. For their daughter. She put her hand in his. He still hated needles.

“I love you Grayson.”

Surrounded by those who loved him, those were the last words, Grayson heard before the doc stuck the needle in his arm.