Chapter 1

I sighed repeatedly as I stood before the massive door, my mind warring with itself over whether to open it or turn away. From behind the thick wood, I could hear music playing and people laughing and talking. I straightened my posture, took another deep breath, and gripped the doorknob—yet I still couldn’t bring myself to turn it. I clenched my fist, steeled my resolve, and reached for the handle once more. This wasn’t my first time coming here, but in that moment, it felt completely unfamiliar, as if I were stepping into a place I’d never been before.

I knew perfectly well I wasn’t welcome inside. From the very start, I felt that they—especially her—had never wanted me for him. She loathed me so much that she’d done everything in her power to push me far away from her son. And yet, here I was, acting like a fool and making a laughingstock of myself, still hoping that one day she would finally accept me as her son’s girlfriend. I had never done anything to deserve such a strong dislike, and I truly had no idea why she hated me so deeply. I would have let it go and kept my distance, but her behavior had gone too far.

She even made up lies, spreading rumors that Xander had supposedly traded me in for another woman—someone more beautiful, richer, and far more worthy of him than I could ever be. Someone who deserved him, unlike me.

Fueled by anger and pain, I swung the door open hard enough to draw everyone’s attention. But instead of focusing on the stares, something—or rather, someone—else caught my eye.

His parents weren’t around, and neither was his older sister, Xandra. Only his friends and cousins were there. But I didn’t care about any of them. My gaze locked onto my boyfriend, seated comfortably with a girl right beside him. And the two of them were so caught up in kissing each other that they didn’t even notice I had entered. I froze where I stood, paralyzed by disbelief.

One of his friends finally realized what was happening and tried to stop them. He succeeded only when he pointed straight in my direction. I saw the exact moment Xander noticed me standing there, staring at him with absolutely no emotion written on my face. He looked completely stunned, and then pure horror washed over his features.

“Surprise,” I said flatly, shifting my gaze from him to the girl beside him, and then back to him again.

I could hear nothing but the frantic pounding of my heart, beating so fast and hard it felt like horses were galloping wildly inside my chest. Every pair of eyes in the room was fixed on me, but I didn’t care at all. I watched as he shoved the girl away from him and stumbled quickly toward me—but I lifted my hand immediately, stopping him in his tracks.

It hurt. God, it hurt more than I could bear. But no matter how much pain I was in, I refused to show it. I would never let them see me like this. I would never give them the satisfaction of knowing just how weak, vulnerable, and deeply wounded I really was after witnessing what had just happened.

I composed myself once more and looked straight at him, my face completely blank and unreadable.

“Y-Ynnah—”

“Stop,” I cut him off sharply. I didn’t need any excuses or explanations. What I had just seen was proof enough; it told me everything I needed to know.

I wasn’t a masochist—I wouldn’t just ignore the betrayal he had committed. And my mind was completely closed off; I had no patience left for his stupid justifications.

“Ynnah, please—”

“I said stop! Are you deaf, or just plain stupid?” I shouted, unable to hold back any longer.

“Hey, you! What’s your problem with my boyfriend? Who do you think you are, yelling at him like that?” the woman he had been kissing stepped forward, speaking with sharp annoyance.

I raised an eyebrow slowly and looked her up and down with cold disdain. “Boyfriend, huh?” I said, turning my glare back to Xander, who was now hunched over, looking defeated. “Then he’s all yours. After all, you seem to be nothing more than a garbage collector, aren’t you?”

“How dare you say that!” She raised her hand, ready to slap me, but Xander instantly grabbed her arm and stopped her.

“Don’t you ever dare lay a hand on her!” he exclaimed, his voice ringing clear and loud through the room.

She froze, staring at him in total disbelief. “What the hell, babe? I’m the one who’s supposed to be your girlfriend, and yet you’re defending her against me?”

“So, you haven’t told her yet that you already had a girlfriend—and that it was me?” I asked calmly, though my voice was laced with bitterness. “Oh well, it doesn’t matter. I don’t mind, because I don’t care anymore.” I looked at her again, holding my head high. “I am Ynnah Francine Seung. I was his first love, and his girlfriend ever since our high school days… but right now, I am his ex-girlfriend.”

“What the hell?” the girl gasped, turning to Xander in shock. But he didn’t pay any attention to her—his eyes were fixed only on me.

I saw how his eyes widened in pure panic as he took in my words. “Y-Ynnah, no—”

“Let’s break up,” I said firmly, cutting him off before he could say anything else. I turned my back on him and began walking away. He tried to run after me, but the girl grabbed him and held him back.

“What the fuck is she talking about?!” I heard her scream as I finally stepped out of the room and pulled the door shut behind me.

The moment I was alone in the hallway, all the tears I had been holding back finally spilled out.

So this whole time, he had been cheating on me with that woman behind my back? How dare he? Did he really think he could get away with this kind of bullshit? Did he think I would chase after him and beg him to stay? Go to hell! Not in a million years!

I hadn’t endured all that heartache and humiliation just to end up cheated on. I did everything I possibly could, just to make his mother accept me for his sake. But I suppose my foolishness ends here—right now, right at this moment. Did he actually assume I would run after him after he betrayed me? After making me believe that he would never look for anyone else because he already had me? Never! Not even in his wildest, stupidest dreams!

My chest felt so heavy it hurt as I walked away from that place, tears streaming freely down my face from the overwhelming pain I felt. At the same time, the sky opened up, and rain began pouring down heavily. I didn’t care where my feet were taking me, as long as I was getting as far away from that place as possible. My vision blurred, both from my tears and from the rain falling relentlessly around me. I looked up at the pitch-dark sky, letting the raindrops hit my face and mix with my tears.

Isn’t it ironic? Crying under the heavy rain with a broken heart? It feels exactly like a scene from a K-drama. But K-dramas usually end happily… while my story ends in such a pathetic, stupid way.

I let out a dry, hollow chuckle as a realization hit me hard. I was such a fool. I think I took everything way too seriously and was far too naive.

My feet eventually led me to a park—a children’s park. There were still a few people around, enjoying the cool feeling of the continuous rain. Some kids were playing hide-and-seek, while others ran around chasing each other. I cried even harder now, though no one could tell the difference between my tears and the rain falling all over me. I missed my childhood days—the times when I had nothing to worry about except studying, finishing homework, and playing games until I got bored. Back then, there was no pain, no heartbreak, no grief… just pure, simple happiness.

Suddenly, I realized I could no longer feel the rain hitting my body, even though it was still pouring down. I looked up and saw a black umbrella shielding me from the downpour. I turned around to see who was holding it. Standing there was a man dressed entirely in black. I stared into his eyes—deep, coal-black eyes that looked dull and lifeless. He stared back at me just as intensely. There was something mesmerizing about them, like a black diamond that held a strange kind of beauty despite its dullness.

But I had this strange feeling that his eyes were hiding something far deeper than what they showed. They were like a maze; if you stared too long into those dark gems, you would get completely lost. Before I could lose myself in his gaze, I quickly looked away, took a deep breath, and tried to pull myself together.

“What are you doing? And who are you?” I asked, recovering from the trance. I suddenly felt a little dizzy and very cold.

“It’s raining. You shouldn’t be out here,” he said, completely avoiding my questions.

I composed myself again and gave him a look that clearly said, Why do you even care? He didn’t seem to understand, or maybe he just ignored it. I wanted to be alone, and I hated having anyone around me right now. But I didn’t want to be rude either; I knew he was only trying to help.

“You know what? You don’t have to do this,” I told him. “I can handle myself. Besides, I’m on my way home.”

“You look pale. Your eyes are tired. You are not okay, and you definitely can’t go home by yourself,” he said calmly. “You look sick, and you’re going to collapse any minute now.”

My mouth fell slightly open in surprise.

Is he kidding me? I’m not sick… I’m just broken.

“You’re joking, right? I’m just heartbroken—not sick,” I replied. I turned away and started walking again, but suddenly my vision went completely blurry. My knees felt weak and began to buckle under my weight. The last thing I remembered was my sight fading to black and my body losing all strength.

Then… total darkness.

“Ynnah! Wake up!”

Suddenly, I woke up, jolted back to reality by Liza shaking my arm vigorously. I realized we were still sitting on the train, traveling from Busan to Seoul. How long have I been asleep?

It was just a dream. But ever since that day, I have constantly been dreaming about that exact same event—the one I thought I had forgotten long ago.

The memory of my breakup with Xander kept replaying, and then that mysterious man dressed entirely in black appeared. I remembered his eyes—black as coal, dull yet shining like precious gems, holding a confusing, unknown path that led nowhere.

But there is one thing I always wonder about: Why is it that every time I wake up, I can no longer remember his face? I only recall those coal-black, lifeless eyes and his tall, slender posture.

Who exactly was he?