Before & Saints 1

Before....

My body healed. The cuts scabbed over and the bruises faded. To anyone who looked at me, I was just my normal cheery self. 

I was Keeley. The sweet one, the innocent one. But I wasn’t any of those things anymore. I was broken, and inside I was screaming. Sweet and innocent? Those were words that might have described me once, but they didn’t anymore.

Not since my cousin’s friend, a man Monster and I had both trusted with our lives, had forced himself into my body and left me hollowed out. There was nothing but darkness inside of me now. And day by day it was eating me up.

My name might still be Keeley. I might have the same blonde hair and darling smile that people always thought about when my name was mentioned. But I wasn’t the same woman. I wasn’t even sure I was a woman anymore. I didn’t feel like one.

And that’s why I had to leave.

I knew that thousands, if not millions, of other women had gone through what I had. Hell, even some of the member’s old ladies of my cousin’s motorcycle club had been through something similar, but they had been ok with being saved. They had their men to lean on.

I had no one. And I sure as hell didn’t want to be saved. Sure, the club would want to look after me, just like they always had, but that hadn’t exactly worked out well for me in the past.

So, leaving was my only option.

And maybe when I was gone from the town that held so many horrific memories for me, I could start to heal. I might even start to work out who the hell I was again.

My pen scraped against the piece of paper. The lines of the words were jerky, the ink splashed with my tears. Monster would never forgive me for saying goodbye like this. But he had his own family now - a wife, and a baby on the way. He didn’t need a grown cousin dragging him backwards.

Monster, I am sorry…

Yeah, they wouldn’t agree with me leaving like a thief in the night. But I needed to go for my own sanity.

The Keeley I used to be was gone, and I needed to find out who I was now.

Because sweet and innocent didn’t cover it anymore.

****

Gio

A club in the harsh light of day was a strange entity. Sterile and heartless. It was only when the lights dimmed and the music started that it came alive. It was more than just the people who filled it. Clubs were creatures that only came alive when the sun went down, when the music started pumping and the lights flashed. And it was no different there.

The Penthouse was one of my newer acquisitions. And it lived up to its name even in the harsh light of day. The Family was expanding, and this upscale gentlemen's club was just one of many we had bought around the world over the last few years.

Of course, normally, I wouldn’t be sent over to keep an eye on things. We had managers for that. But something was going on in London, and it made The Family nervous. So there I was and there I would stay. At least until the thief was caught and punished. If they were lucky, we would hand them over to the authorities. The Family was a law-abiding consortium after all, but I doubted it. Things would be better handled in house. Quickly and quietly like they always were. It would be better for the guilty party to hand themselves into the police. Much, much better.

Leaning back on the plush leather chair in my office, I rubbed at my temples. A headache had started, beating against my skull with unrelenting pressure. And the music pounding below wasn’t helping. We were closed, there should be no music. Everything should be silent which was why I was there. It was easier to concentrate when the club was empty. The cleaning crew wouldn’t bother me. The bar staff who called in early didn’t even look at me unless I needed a drink. And yet the music and lights were on. And it was making my work impossible.

Grumbling, I pushed myself to my feet. I hated this city. The old building mixed in with the shiny new skyscrapers, the smog, and the goddamn weather that could only be described as grey. My life was in the United States. It was where my home was and the sooner I was out of this God-forsaken country and back in my own penthouse the better. But I couldn’t do that until I found the thief and brought them to justice, and I sure as hell couldn’t do that with all the noise coming from downstairs.

Twitching back the drapes that had been closed over the window looking down at the main floor, my eyes swept across the scene playing out below me. There was a woman on the pole. Her movements were jerky and unsure, and for a second, I found myself watching her with interest.

She was auditioning. And her nerves were getting the better of her. Pretty as she was, she simply wouldn’t do. There was a cheapness to her make up, and if she was as nervous as that in front of just my manager and other dancers, then she would not be able to handle the club itself on a busy night. The Penthouse might be an upscale establishment, but the men who frequented us expected a certain level of charisma and that woman didn’t have it.

Leaning against the glass, I took in the six other women sitting in a small huddle, waiting for their time to audition. Not a bad turn out really. One or two of them definitely had potential. One woman in particular caught my eye and I knew instantly why. It was her curly blonde hair. I had a type, and even though I could only see her back, I knew she was just it. The hair, the curves. She was just the kind of woman I went after. It didn’t even matter that I couldn’t see her face. Whether she ended up getting a job here or not didn’t really matter. She was, without doubt, the most interesting thing I had seen since my plane had touched down in the UK.

Pulling my phone from my pocket, I typed out a quick message to the house mother, asking for her to get the blonde onto the pole. I knew she would do what I wanted. She always did. It was one of the reasons she had been given the management of the girls. The Family trusted her.

Leaning my arm against the glass, I watched as the blonde stood. She didn’t wobble on her heels. There was no nervousness in her walk or in the confident way her hand curled around the pole.

Interesting indeed. Her curves were mouth-watering, and she could dance as well. Every movement was meant to draw the eye and it did just that. Her hips rocked backwards, thrusting her ass out, and the tiny booty shorts did nothing to hide what she was trying to show. I was mesmerised. Just like that, she had me, and I knew I had to employ her. If for no other reason than I wanted her in my bed. After that I didn’t care what she did.

One night.

One…

She flicked her hair back, her body straightening, and for a second, I forgot how to breathe. Because I knew her face. Her hair was a little shorter now, but those eyes, that smile…I would recognise her anywhere even after five years.

Five years since she had disappeared from beneath all our noses, and I still carried the note she had scrawled to her cousin in my wallet. Monster hadn’t wanted me to have it, but I had insisted. He had made me promise not to search for her, and I had reluctantly agreed because he was right when he said she was too good for men like us.

The last place I ever expected to find her was a place like that - in a club I owned, swinging her body around a pole with the kind of practised ease that told me she had been doing it for a while. It made me feel sick. Because the girl I knew five years ago was the sweetest, most pure soul I had ever seen. It was one of the reasons I had been instantly attracted to her, and ultimately the reason I vowed to never touch her.

Someone had touched her though. Five years ago, someone had used her body against her will. That man was dead now. I made sure of it. It was surprisingly easy for someone to have an accident in prison. And I didn’t regret that. The only regret was that I wasn’t the one to do it.

I had punished the man who had hurt her. I had let her go to “find herself” as the letter said, and I had dreamt of the day when I would see her again, even when I knew the odds of that happening were zero. But seeing her down below with her body almost completely on show, I knew one thing.

Keeley would not find herself in my club.