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#Dorothy’s POV#
“I have cancer…”
My breathing steadies even though the sight of his narrowed eyes makes me nervous.
The words hang there, sharp and strange and foreign even to my own ears. The silence that follows is too loud—too thick to breathe in.
“What?” he says and pushes himself off his seat, taking just two steps to reach my radius. The tie dangling loosely from his strong neck is the only thing that distracts me momentarily and gives me the relief to say the next sentence.
“That’s what the doctor said… and… and…” my words falter, and so do my legs. My knees weaken, pulling me faster than gravity to the floor as I collapse. I’m unable to bear the news in my heart or resonate with it, talkless of me telling it to my wayward husband who’s been sleeping out since we got married two years ago and has not noticed his wife's slow health decline.
The marble floor underneath me is cold. I don’t even try to hold myself up anymore. The weight on my chest is heavier than my bones.
I stare up at him, and watch as several emotions run through his face. He wants to punch something, somebody. I can already feel his anger simmering underneath his olive skin, threatening to destroy something, or anybody.
Thank God. I have never been the one to bear the brunt of his anger but I have borne the brunt of another side of his untamed desire.
That’s the thing about Joel—he doesn’t know how to love gently. Only forcefully. Only transactionally. Only on his terms.
A force jolts me out of my train of thoughts and I feel my body shaking. “The doctor said what, woman?! Spit it out!” His hands are wrapped around my arms, and he’s shaking me.
My head jerks from the motion. My teeth clack together. It stings.
“What the fuck can I say, Joel? What the fuck do you want me to say?!” I bark out on his face and he flinches back, as if avoiding my spit from touching him.
He grunts and throws a piece of vase on the table behind him at the wall behind me. When I hear the glass shatter, I flinch.
My heart feels like it shatters too.
“Haven’t I told you to stop answering me as if I’m the cause of all your problems?! Was it my fault your father was a drunkard who gambled all your generational wealth away? Was it my fault your mother and sister sold you to my father for a new Lamborghini? Is it my fault your entire family are selfish fools who only want to live the ‘high life’ without actually having a sensible mindset?” He grabs my hand, “Look, you know very well we made a verbal agreement before we exchanged rings AND vows. You do your shit and I do mine.”
His fingers are squeezing my hand, not in affection. In warning.
I want to slap him. I want to scream and scream until his ears bleed. But I just stare. Numb.
“You don’t love me, do you?”
“Why the fuck are you mentioning love? What the fuck does this have to do with love?”
I sniff. “Why don’t you meet one of those your whores to get you an heir? At this point I don’t even know why the hell I’m still bound to you and your family.”
“You know very fucking well why, Dora. Stop… Urgh… stop making me speak so much to you. You know anytime we exchange more than three sentences it turns into an argument and I get turned on and you push me away and call me a—”
“Sick bastard.” I grit my teeth.
He chuckles darkly. “Haha. And then I force you and you fucking cry and threaten to kill me in your sleep.”
My stomach turns. He says it like a joke. Like we’re not both standing knee-deep in rot.
“I hate you…”
“Darling, I hate you too but we’re bound to each other, are we not? You know very well my useless ass of a father specifically wrote in his will that if the heir doesn’t come from your fucking vagina, those multi BILLION worth of assets aren’t going to be officially given to me. How many fucking times do I have to explain this to you? When you do what we’ve agreed you’ll do, you’ll get your share and you can jump off a fucking cliff with your cheque in your hand for all I care. But for now, just fucking cooperate! Geez!”
My mouth opens but nothing comes out for a second. Then—
“So now I have cancer, how am I gonna cooperate, unh? My womb is fucking useless now.”
His jaw clenches. His nostrils flare. Then—just like that—he slips back into control. That cold, strategizing mask he wears like an extra layer of skin.
“No, not if I can help it. Pack your bags. We’re going to New Jersey first thing tomorrow to see a specialist.”
I blink. “What? But—”
“What is it now? At least you got diagnosed early. It’s treatable, isn’t it?”
“I….”
I shake my head. My chest tightens. It’s not that simple. It’s never been that simple.
“Oh… don’t fucking tell me you willingly want to sabotage this shit for me? You wanna die of cancer, Dora?”
“That’s not what I said!”
“Good. Don’t say anything more. Pack your fucking bags.”
“But Joel…”
“I’ll come pick you up tomorrow by 7. I’m going to Hillary’s.”
And just like that, he grabs his car keys, slides on that ridiculous designer blazer, and leaves me there on the floor.
The front door slams.
One of his stupid side chicks.
Of course.
The silence afterward is louder than anything he could’ve shouted.
#Dorothy’s POV# #Two Years Later#The sea is loud tonight, louder than usual. Waves keep rolling and breaking against the sand in heavy rhythm. The air smells like salt and driftwood, and I can taste the brine when I lick my lips. The wind keeps sweeping my hair across my face, tickling, reminding me I’m here, I’m alive. Two years. It feels like both forever and yesterday.Cass sits on a chair set up on the beach, barefoot, her hair pinned loosely but already fighting to come free. She’s holding a folded piece of paper in her hands, her voice steady but trembling at the edges. Everyone from the retreat is gathered around her. Survivors, writers, friends, the odd stranger who wandered in and never left. Joel’s somewhere behind me with the twins, but my eyes stay fixed on Cass. She clears her throat and looks at me, and for the briefest second she’s just my best friend, the same Cass who used to chat with me overnight and vent about Turkish male drama leads. But tonight she’s more than
#Joel’s POV#Evening in New York has a way of pressing against the windows like a gentle hand. The city is alive outside but in here, in this brownstone apartment I’ve rented for her, it feels sealed, like I’ve built her a cocoon. A safe place. A place that belongs to us, even if it’s temporary. I’ve been trying for weeks to think of something that might help her feel steady again, something that might bring back the spark in her eyes, and this—this writing retreat—is the closest I’ve gotten. I don’t know if it’s perfect. I don’t know if it’s enough. But watching her now, walking around the space, fingertips brushing the bookshelves, her soft voice saying “wow” under her breath as though she doesn’t want me to hear… God, it feels like I did at least one thing right.The place is nothing extravagant, not like the properties my father used to throw money at. It’s warm, almost old-fashioned. Wooden beams across the ceiling. A long table in the middle of the open room where half a dozen n
#Dorothy’s POV#The moment I walk into the conference lounge of the publishing house, it feels like my body is floating and heavy at the same time. Floating because the last few days have felt like I’ve been suspended in something I can’t fully name, feeling relief, exhaustion and disbelief that I’m still standing after everything that’s happened. Heavy because every muscle in me still aches from carrying all the secrets and betrayals, and even though the papers are signed and the lawyers are out of the way, my heart hasn’t quite caught up with what “resolved” is supposed to feel like.I’m perched on the edge of one of the couches in the staff lounge, legs crossed, tapping my fingers restlessly on my phone screen. I’ve been trying to distract myself with work, or at least with busywork—re-reading the itinerary for the launch tour, scrolling through all the notes the marketing team emailed me this morning—but my brain keeps sliding off the words. There’s something too still in me, like
#Dorothy’s POV#It’s been a week. Only a week. But in that small stretch of time, I feel like my whole world has been rearranged in a way I don’t even know how to properly describe. And I’m not saying everything is perfect, God knows I don’t believe in perfect anymore, but it feels like… like the curse I always thought was stitched into my life has loosened. Like it’s letting me breathe.I’m standing in the middle of this publishing house in Manhattan, sunlight bouncing off glass walls, this sweet smell of ink and new pages floating in the air, and I don’t even know what to do with myself. Because that’s my name up there. My real name. “Dorothy Rain” stamped bold across a hardcover.I blink hard, because I keep thinking my eyes are lying to me. The Fathers of My Child? in gold-embossed letters. My words, my voice, my truth. All those nights typing away with shaking fingers, all those times I thought no one would care, all those times I was sure I was wasting my breath, suddenly it’s s
#Dorothy’s POV#The morning light filters into the sitting room, the way it always does here by the ocean. The curtains sway a little because Joel left the window cracked last night to let the sea breeze through, and the air smells of salt, wood polish, and fresh flowers in the vase on the coffee table. I sit there on the edge of the couch, my hands restless in my lap, my knees bouncing slightly, unable to keep still. I feel like my body is betraying me again, and yet my mind is working double time, replaying every single detail of what happened yesterday, what’s been happening lately, how everything has gotten to this insane point in my life.Joel is there, of course. He’s in one of his plain white shirts, the collar open, sleeves rolled up, and his hair is slightly damp from his morning shower. He hasn’t taken his eyes off me since I woke up with nausea again. He hasn’t stopped watching me as though the minute he looks away, I’ll collapse, I’ll vanish, I’ll slip into that dark tunne
#Dorothy’s POV#I don’t think I’ve stopped smiling since this morning. And honestly, I don’t think I will. My cheeks actually hurt, and Joel keeps teasing me that I look like someone who just discovered her favorite dessert after years of pretending to be on a diet. But it’s not just the wedding, not just the ceremony or the applause or the kisses and the rings. It’s deeper than all that. It’s this lightness in my chest that feels new and raw and terrifying, but in the best way. I keep telling myself, This is it. This is what it should have always been. This is what I wanted all along but didn’t even know how to ask for.I sit on the edge of the couch, still in the afterglow of the evening, dress changed into something simple, just a soft cream lounge dress a maid ironed for me earlier, but the memory of the white lace gown brushing against my ankles lingers like a dream. I can still feel the weight of the veil when I blink. My hand keeps brushing my ring finger like I’m checking if i







