I'm only too happy to get on with our evening - I can't believe I spilled as much as I did to Luca. This is why I need real friends.The rec room here in Luca's house looks - unsurprisingly, I guess - like something straight out of a movie. In my head, I've always referred to this as the "party room" - in part because this is where Luca's house parties are usually centered, and in part because the room was clearly designed precisely for that purpose. There are a number of plush couches, armchairs, and ottomans between us and the far side of the room, where a full bar is built against the wall. There's also a pool table and dart board.The most impressive feature of this room, however, is the wall to the outside - which, technically, isn't a wall at all. There are only three real walls here, and the fourth is completely open to the outdoors, creating a seamless flow between this room and the elaborate poolside area behind the house. I know there's a retractable screen that can be brou
Is Luca suggesting what I think he's suggesting? That I let myself get turned on?I don't get the chance to ponder that question for very long. He kisses me again, and all I can do is try to listen to his advice. This time, I attempt to force all thoughts of Izzy out of my head. Funny enough, all of those "Be in the moment!" mindfulness exercises my dad forced on me are finally proving to be quite useful, allowing me to focus my attention fully on what's in front of me.His breath is warm on my lips. His skin is hot and smooth against my hands - except along his jaw, where there's the slight tickle of stubble. The weight of his body traps me against the ground, but I find that almost comforting.God, I miss holding someone close like this. Just being so intimate with another human being...His hands burn. I can feel the heat of them through the fabric of my shirt. I can feel the heat of his chest, too. It presses against my body, hard and solid and ridged with muscle. I allow my ha
"What's that for?" I ask, starting to get nervous when I see the camera in Luca's hand."For practice," he says, setting the tripod into position. "It's the best I can do to recreate the set." He sets the camera on top of the tripod and hooks it into place. "It's not exactly the same as having a bunch of people staring at us, but it's as close as we're going to get tonight." He fiddles with a couple of buttons on the camera. A red light comes on."Are you actually turning it on?" I ask, starting to feel sick."Of course." He looks down at me. "It makes you more nervous, doesn't it?""Well, yeah," I admit."Then it's doing what it's supposed to do. You need to practice in conditions that make you nervous." That devilish smile returns. "Can I take this to mean you've never filmed a sex tape?"My face goes hot again. "Of course I haven't! I'm not an idiot. That's not the sort of fame I want." I want people to know my name because of my acting, not because they've seen me naked. Even
I release my death grip on Luca's hair. This is bad. This is...horrifying and humiliating and the absolute worst thing that could have happened.But there's one saving grace - he doesn't know. Thank God."I...I think we're good," I say, and my voice sounds breathless and strange. "This is where they'll cut the scene, right?"Luca freezes on top of me. His lips release my ear."I think that went well," I say, trying to sound casual. "Very well. How did that feel for you?"Slowly - torturously slowly - he sits up. The moment his weight lifts from me, I feel so cold and alone that it's all I can do not to pull him back down on top of me. My body is still trembling from that orgasm.Luca straightens, running a hand through his tousled hair. The golden strands are disheveled from the furious grip of my fingers."I agree," he says, and his voice sounds a tone lower than usual. "That went well. You're getting much more natural." He tilts his head and looks down at me, meeting my eyes f
"Moved in together?" My voice is a squeak. "That wasn't in our contract - ""Which was a gross oversight on my part, and that means you aren't legally required to do anything," Luca says with a shake of his head. "But for better or for worse, we've reached the point in our relationship where people expect us to be sharing a bed most nights. It would be easier to maintain the illusion if you were spotted coming and going from my house on a regular basis. The paparazzi have been extra attentive recently - there were half a dozen camped outside my home this morning.""Is that why you were late?" I ask him."Hardly," he says. "I can handle a few paparazzi. But if they don't see you with me one of these mornings, they're going to start to get suspicious. It's not enough to strut around together a couple of nights a week. And our contract does dictate that we can't encourage any breakup rumors until after we wrap up filming. So we have another few weeks to continue playing the happy coupl
The weekend comes all too soon.I'll admit, a small part of me is a little intrigued and excited by the thought of living in this gorgeous mansion, but mostly I'm sad about leaving my own home. To celebrate the release of Cataclysm: Earth, I bought myself a charming little bungalow right on the beach. It's the one "splurge" I've allowed myself since landing this role - everything else goes into an account for my family, when and if they decide they want it.Javy still hasn't told me what's going on. He hasn't been responding to my calls or texts all week, and yesterday I finally caved and called my dad, ready to spill what little information I knew. When I brought up Javy, though, my dad informed me that my little brother was out with my mom, getting fitted for his wedding tux. At least I know he's not dead in a ditch somewhere. Maybe he got his problem under control all by himself - not that that keeps me from worrying. I left a very threatening voicemail for Javy this morning, and
I slip off my shoes and pull my feet up onto the chaise, crossing my legs and straightening my back. I rest my hands softly on my knees and take a long, deep breath, trying to draw my thoughts back to my breathing.Meditation, my dad taught me, is not about driving away your thoughts or clearing your mind. It's about practiced focus. Thoughts may come - and with me, they always do - but you're supposed to just acknowledge them and let them drift past. It's supposed to give you objectivity. Calm. Patience with yourself.Yeah, you get taught a lot of weird New Age-y stuff when your dad wrote his dissertation on the intersection of philosophy, religion, and productivity in the modern work environment.It's hard to do when I'm this antsy. I resist the urge to wiggle my fingers on my knees. No matter how hard I try, I can't focus on my breath. My mind refuses to calm down.Finally, after several infuriating minutes, I let out a frustrated sound and throw myself back on the pillow. Maybe
"There's sparkling water, too, if you'd prefer," Luca says."Oh, it's not for me," I say quickly. "I thought I'd be polite and get something for the movers." I don't know why I'm so nervous to admit that - it's not like I'm doing anything wrong. If anything, I suspect Luca would encourage me to do whatever possible to make sure that I uphold my end of our contract. I need to distract myself so I don't keep replaying that orgasm in my head."In that case," he says, smiling, "there's plenty of beer in there, too.""Great, thanks."I head back over to the fridge, only Luca gets there at the same time, and somehow I manage to run right into him. The glass falls from my hand, shattering against the tiles below."Shit," I say, dropping to my knees."Be careful." Luca kneels down beside me.We both reach for the same piece of glass at the same time, and our fingers touch. Electricity shoots up my arm.I jerk my hand back. "I... I'll go get the vacuum. Where do you keep it?""There's