Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1:

~ ALINA ~

Sterilized white rooms.

Medicine.

That’s all I’ve known for the last seven years.

Not the warmth of my son’s arms.

Not the scent of pine and cedar on my husband’s chest.

Not the moonlit runs I once dreamed of taking with my mate.

No. Just beeping machines, cold sheets, and the echo of silence too loud for a woman who's still breathing.

They said I was lucky to survive childbirth.

But what kind of luck leaves you forgotten?

What kind of Luna lies rotting in a bed while the pack dances under the moon?

I used to count the days.

I used to believe I’d get better. That giving birth to a child too powerful for my body didn't break me forever.

That maybe—just maybe—he’d come visit and tell me he missed me. I wonder if he still calls me mama.

Now I count the seconds between doses. The space between breaths. The dwindling hope that I'd get my wolf back.

It’s easier to hope for nothing than to break over and over again even though I always hope to run across the field barefooted again.

“Your body is more subject to germs and damaging diseases now.”

“Make sure everything is well sterilized.”

“No, Luna! Don’t touch that!”

“You won't be able to summon your wolf’s strength until you heal.”

That’s all I’ve heard for years. A broken body wrapped in caution tape. Glass walls. Gloved hands. Fear.

But today is different.

Today, I’m dressed in silk instead of a white hospital gown.

Today, my name is on a guest list I never thought I’d see again.

The Luna Festival.

My final obligation before I disappear for good.

They say the goddess watches us on this night.

I hope she sees me.

I hope she knows… I tried.

The Luna Festival is an annual celebration. A different pack hosts it each year, and tradition says no wolf can miss it more than seven times.

This is my seventh.

Time’s up.

Today, it’s a must—and I couldn’t be more grateful. It's my Pack's turn to host it.

My wolf scent is gone now, replaced by the sterile stench of antiseptic and medicine.

Even the moon wouldn't recognize me anymore.

I stare at my reflection as the maid adjusts the gown over my fragile frame and places a fur coat on it to keep me warm. The silk feels too soft against skin that’s forgotten touch.

Pale.

So pale.

My black hair is left cascading down my shoulders.

I barely recognize the woman in the mirror. I miss the warm bronze glow I used to carry, kissed by the sun after hours of training in the fields or chasing the wind during morning runs. I only step out of this place three to four times a year. Now I look like a ghost of the Luna I once was. But I can’t bring myself to regret what brought me here.

At least… I gave him an heir.

Asher is my mate… I think. He didn't mark me and I don't get to enjoy the privilege everyone says comes with the mate bond but even without it, what's between us is real despite our marriage being an arranged one.

He used to bring our son to see me—three times or so a month, like clockwork. Asher would sit by my bedside and tell the boy,

“My wife is strong. She gave you life.”

And for a while, it felt like that was enough. That I was still a part of them somehow. I wonder how tall my baby has grown. Last time I saw him, he barely reached up to my knees.

But the visits have stretched now. A month… Maybe two? I don’t know anymore.

There’s no sunrise or sunset in this place, just fluorescent lights and the endless ticking of machines. The times I stepped out were never enough.

Time doesn’t live here.

“Luna?” the maid’s voice pulls me back.

She smiles faintly, slipping a glove over my hand like I’m something delicate—dangerous even. “All set. Don’t touch anyone.”

I nod, even though my chest aches at the words.

I’m dressed like a queen…

But I feel like a prisoner being allowed one final walk before exile.

However, tonight, I plan to make the best of it.

It’s been so long since the sun touched my skin—longer still since the moon or wind dared to kiss my hair.

I bite back the excitement trembling in my chest as I pick the wolf figurine on the dressing mirror and slip it into my coat. Then, I follow her through the white corridors. The door opens, and for the first time in what feels like forever, I step beyond the line that kept me caged.

Cool night air rushes into my lungs. Raw. Unfiltered. Real.

I close my eyes and inhale deeply, letting it burn through the medicinal fog that’s clouded me for months that feels like years.

The car waits at the foot of the steps. I step in slowly, careful not to fall apart too soon. Cici, the maid, slides in after me.

I can’t sit still. My fingers tremble in my lap. My heart races.

I can’t wait to see him.

To see them.

They are the only thoughts that'd keep me tethered in that cold place.

I glance outside the window as the car speeds past decorated pack houses, the streets alive with figures dressed as moon creatures, glowing under the faint light of the full moon.

Oh, how I’ve missed this.

The air, the laughter, the pulse of life I’ve only ever known through closed windows.

To breathe it, to feel it—it feels like a dream. One I’ve almost forgotten I was allowed to have.

And it’s all thanks to this tradition.

The car hums for a few more minutes, rolling toward the grand entrance of the main pack house, where the heart of the festival beats.

My stomach tightens as it slows to a stop.

Will they even remember me?

The warrior Luna from the west?

But I chose not to be bothered.

Even if they don't, he remembers me. He's the one that'd scheduled I should come today and I simply can't wait till the middle of the night when the festival would be in full swing because I want to see him, to breathe him in and kiss him again.

And I want to hold little Kael in my arms again. The last time I did that was two months after his birth, before everything went downhill.

I inhale deeply, my hands tightening as Cici opens the door. I step out and start walking, Cici falling into a step behind, accompanied by two other guards. We make our way towards the pack entrance.

The guards at the main door of the Pack's mansion on seeing me bows in respect and opens the double doors. I respond with a nod and step in, the familiar warmth of the pack house welcoming me.

But I refuse to breathe it in, to make myself grow accustomed to it again. I’d cry myself to sleep every night, trying to forget it. There's no point in making myself go through that again.

And instead, I walk to the large staircase at the centre, a smile plastered on my face for the pack members who still recognise me, while I try to whisk past those that don't.

My mind only filled with one thought… Him. Asher, my love, my mate.

But when I turn to the corridor that leads to his office, Cici and the guard behind me, a guard stops me.

“Excuse me...” He says.

I give him a smile. “Is Asher in?” I ask.

“You mean the Alpha?” He asks cluelessly. He must be new. But it hurts.

“Yes.” I say. I hesitate before adding, “I’m Alina.”

His eyes widen and he hurriedly bows. “I'm sorry Lu… Luna. I shouldn't —”

“It's okay.” I say, interrupting him. “Is he in?”

“Yes but…”

I wait for him to continue, dread settling into the pits of my stomach.

“But what?” Cici asks from behind me.

“He's with a visitor.”