Chapter Twenty-Eight: I Feel Pain

Amanda's P.O.V 

It's been three weeks since I was last with Sage, and I feel nothing but numb. I feel so stupid for falling for his shit again. I should have known better. I don't feel anything except heartbroken. I can't help but think back to the amazing time we spent together at the hotel and what we did that weekend. I can't really call it a whole weekend though, as we didnt even get to finish it. I thought he was just going to the bathroom and that he would be right back. How wrong could I be? He was talking on the phone to another girl, and I couldn't hear the whole conversation just his side. 

  "Not right now baby, I am not home or even in town." I heard Sage say to whoever he was talking to. What the fuck? He was messing with me about again. It was just like last time, except this time he wasn't inside me when he answered his phone. I didn't stay around to hear the rest of the conversation. I didn't wait for him to come out and tell me a load of excuses and lies. I grabbed my clothes and got dressed, I couldn't believe the nerve of him.

  "Not until I get back." I heard Sage say. This is bullshit! I reach the bedroom door just as he comes out of the bathroom.

  "Where are you going?" Sage asked me, looking confused.

  "Seriously! I can't believe I was so stupid to ever believe you." I said, slamming the door behind me as I left. I quickly ran to the elevator and got in. I don't want to see him or hear his excuses, he's only going to lie to me again. I walked fast through the foyer and headed straight to my car I could hear him shouting my name, but it's too late. I throw my bag in my car and jump in.

  "Wait! You don't understand." He shouts after me. 

  "I don't give a shit! I am leaving!" I shouted back as I drove past him. He started running after my car, but I just flipped him the bird and sped off. Never looking back. 

  When I got back home, I threw my bag on the floor, took a shower, and curled up on my bed. That night, like so many others I cried myself to sleep. I'm so stupid. He was never going to change, he is always going to go behind my back and fuck other girls. This was normal for him because the other she-wolves were attracted to him, and he was attracted to them, he couldn't resist them. 

  Why do I feel this way? Why do I feel this connection to him? Why do I feel this pull towards him? Is this normal? What the hell? This isn't happiness; he just smashes my happiness into pieces, every single time.

Sage P.O.V 

  I can't believe she did that. She just left me there; she didn't even give me a chance to explain. How could she do that? I finally got back home, and I'm exhausted. I had to shift into my wolf and run the whole way back because she drove us there in her car. 

  I can't stop thinking about where I went wrong, she never heard the whole conversation; she couldn't have. Why wouldn't she let me explain? It was Vicki on the phone, she was asking me to meet up with her, but I told her no, that I wasn't even in town. I had to lie to Vicki just to get her off the phone, so I could return to Mandy. 

Sage’s P.O.V

When I walked back into the room, I was ready.

Ready to tell her everything.

I was going to end it with Vicki. With all of them. No more lies, no more games. I was done pretending, done hiding behind bullshit excuses.

I was going to tell her the truth.

That she’s mine.

That she always has been.

That I’m done fighting it.

For once… I was going to do the right thing.

But I was too late.

The door slammed before I could even say her name.

“Mandy—wait!”

Gone.

Just like that.

I stood there, staring at the empty space where she had been seconds ago, my chest tightening like something inside me was cracking open.

Then I heard it—

Her car.

I rushed to the window just in time to see her speeding away, not even looking back.

And then…

She flipped me off.

A bitter laugh escaped me, hollow and sharp.

“Yeah… I deserved that.”

I dragged a hand down my face, exhaling hard.

What did I expect?

That she’d just stand there and listen? That she’d suddenly believe me after everything I’ve put her through?

I’ve spent years pushing her away. Controlling her. Hurting her.

And now I think I can just walk in and fix it with a few words?

I shake my head, pacing the room.

“Idiot.”

She thinks I’m playing her again.

Of course she does.

That’s all I’ve ever done.

Every time she got close, I tore her down. Every time she trusted me, I gave her a reason not to.

And now…

Now she doesn’t even stay long enough to hear me out.

The thought hits harder than anything else.

She didn’t stay.

Not because she doesn’t care.

But because she’s finally learned not to.

I stop pacing, that realization settling deep in my chest.

This isn’t on her.

It’s on me.

Every bit of it.

I glance toward the door again, like somehow she might walk back through it.

She doesn’t.

Of course she doesn’t.

I let out a slow breath, clenching my fists.

“Alright… fine.”

If she won’t listen…

Then I’ll make her.

Not by force. Not by control.

But by proving it.

Proving I’m not the same asshole she’s been dealing with all these years.

Proving she can trust me.

Even if it takes everything I’ve got.

Because for the first time in my life…

I’m terrified I’ve already lost her.

  God knows how many times I texted and called her, but she never replied. I even snuck into her room again to try and explain everything to her, but she must have known I would do that as she slept in another room and her bed was empty. I am so frustrated, I cant sleep, eat, or fuck without thinking about my mate. Every time I am with a chick all I can see is Mandy's face. God, I want her so bad, I need her, I miss her….I love her.

  I've seen her at school a few times since the hotel, but she never saw me. Each time I try to go and talk to her, I find I can't because she's never alone; her friends are always with her. I keep my distance, but this is torturing me. I walk down towards my locker, and I look over, and there she is smiling away and texting someone.

  "It is probably that Liam guy." My wolf Lee mind-linked me.

  "Shut the fuck up!" I growl back at him. I just stand there watching her at her locker, she doesn't even notice me at all. I miss her so much. I need to get my shit together. I look away slightly and see Vicki out the corner of my eye, walking towards me, licking her lips. I am so not going to play this game anymore. I turn and quickly walk away. She doesn't follow me; she just stops dead in her tracks, looking hurt, confused, and embarrassed. Maybe now she will get the message.

  Mandy is finally alone; this is my chance to grab her and talk to her privately. I need somewhere that we can talk without being interrupted. I need somewhere where I can get her to listen to my side of things without her ignoring me and trying to leave me again. I see the classroom door near her locker, which isn't being used at the moment due to needing some work. It's perfect, we can talk in there and no one will disturb us.

Amanda's P.O.V 

  It's Monday and the start of a new school day, I haven't run into Sage since the hotel. Thank God. I don't know if I would be able to resist him, even after everything he has done. I am so drawn to him, but I don't know why. I'm standing by my locker when my cell phone starts to vibrate. I look down at it and see I have a message.

  "Fancy getting together this weekend?" Liam texted me.

  "Yeah, sure, where do you want to hang out?" I texted back. I stood there waiting for his reply, when suddenly I was swept off my feet, carried into a dark room and sat down on a desk.

  I feel scared and anxious when I feel someone's hand pull away from around my waist. I don't know who it is until I smell woods and green pine. Shit it's Sage.

  "Who were you texting out there?" He said, pulling away from me. 

  "It's none of your business, Sage," I replied, is he seriously jealous right now, after everything he's done? 

  "It is my business. You're mine." He said, slightly raising his voice.

  "Seriously! Seriously!" I snapped. I couldn't get any other words to come out of my mouth; I was so annoyed with him right then.

  "Why did you leave me at the hotel? Why?" Sage said, getting closer to me. 

  "Seriously! Are you fucking kidding me right now? I heard you on the phone talking to another one of your whores." I shouted, not holding back. He just looks at me shocked. 

  "You never gave me a chance to explain. I was lying to her, I just wanted to get her off the phone so I could get back to you. I swear that as soon as we got back to town, I was going to tell her about you and me. I was coming back into the bedroom just as you were leaving. You never gave me a chance to explain." Sage said, looking me straight in the eyes.

  "Do you really expect me to believe that? All you do is lie to me and make up weak-ass excuses. Why the hell should I trust you?" I said, not breaking eye contact with him. 

  "Please, Mandy. You have to believe me. I need you." Sage begged.

  "No, Sage, I don't want to be with you. You have been fucking other girls since you got back from the hotel and you have the nerve to be upset with me for ignoring you. Seriously! I am not going to be your dirty little secret while you go off and fuck other girls. NO WAY! I deserve so much better than that. I deserve someone who will love me for me and who won't be ashamed of me." I snapped at him. 

  "Please Mandy. I love you." Sage pleaded with me.

  "No. You don't love me. If you did love me, you would not be ashamed of me; you would want to be with me and only me. You would love me and only me." I shouted at him. He just stood there not saying a word. He was speechless. I think I struck a nerve with him.

  "You were my everything. You were MY Alpha, and all I ever get from you is heartbreak….I love you, Sage and I always will, but I deserve better treatment than this. So just leave me alone. I am done." I continued with my rant at him, crossing my arms across my chest, huffing and puffing. He just looked down at his feet. He looked so guilty and ashamed of his actions. 

  My heart ached for him. I couldn't stop myself from loving him, and in all honesty, I don't think I wanted to stop loving him. He was like a drug to me; I couldn't get enough of him. His smile, his eyes, his laugh, his touch. He was so addictive, no matter what he said or did to me. I knew that if he kissed me right now, I would be putty in his hands, and God, I wanted him to. 

  He looked up at me with a slight tear in his eye. I couldn't help it; I felt my face soften at his reaction. He took this chance to move closer to me, he softly kissed my lips, and slowly pulled away from me.

  "I'm sorry, I love you so much. I never meant to hurt you, I was just scared." He said, putting his hands in his pockets and turning around to leave. I don't believe this. Was he telling me the truth? There's only one way to find out. I grabbed his shirt and spun him back around to face me, I looked him deep in the eyes, and I could tell straight away he was telling me the truth. His eyes glistened as more tears threatened to fall. He was scared, but of what? 

  I pulled him closer to me and crashed my lips into his. He didn't react at first, he just stood there, shocked at what I was doing. I pulled away and looked up at him. He looked deep into my eyes, confused, like he was trying to figure me out. He crashed his lips into mine, pulling my waist closer to him. This was it, this is what I needed. I needed him….