"What . . .?" I challenged, hoping I’d only misheard him. "And you are?" The voice I’d intended to be strong had failed me, coming out with frail hesitation.
"The guy with the power to get you in trouble.” He continued in a whisper as he leaned in. I could feel his breath against my ear and it sent a violent shiver down my spine.
No.
I was going to be in the band—I was going to play the drums and tell odd stories about Iggy my iguana. This…this wasn’t the start to my new school life that I was looking for and the more I thought about it was the less I could feel my lips. They remained stubbornly shut, trapped in their own uncertainty. I stared up at him, immobilised by the same fear that I had grown accustomed to at my old school. There were too many variables, the most pressing of them being my concern he was the type to ‘assert’ whatever power had been bestowed upon him by the school administration.
I’d run into enough of those to last me another ten lifetimes.
"Jayden, are you messing with new students again?"
I watched another student enter the hall, coming to a stop by this…Jayden. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I wondered if this was the Jayden that girl had been complaining about but I could scarcely spare the brainpower for what amounted to useless information when my mind was still racing ten thousand miles a minute. Besides, a busy guy like that, how would he find time to go messing with transfers?
This new boy was blonde and stood a good two inches taller than Jayden…maybe. He carried himself differently, an air of propriety clinging to him. It was there in his defiantly erect posture, the hard line his lips had created and the stiff way he’d spoken. It was a stark contrast to the lanky boy who remained effortlessly unbothered. The new boy’s veneer broke only as his gaze caught Jayden’s.
The look they shared all but confirmed they were messing around but that didn't make me lower my guard. Not yet. It was always just messing around; only a little fun they didn't expect me to take so seriously. Couldn’t I take a joke? Why was I so uptight? I could recite it all by heart.
"No, of course not," he answered, a boyish grin fixing itself on his face as he moved to create some distance between us. "I was just laying down some guidelines; sharing some warnings, y’know."
"Well, you'll have to finish your lesson some other time." The boy turned to me. "We were about to start the tour and realised you hadn’t come back from the bathroom. Let’s go.”
I hurried after him, glad to be free from dark memories that threatened to creep up in the wake of our brief conversation. A walk around the place would do me some good and I’d finally be able to find the music room. By lunch, I may have even been able to completely forget the run in and lose myself in the friend making process.
"Hey,” Jayden called after us.
I reluctantly slowed my pace, turning just enough to show he’d gotten my attention but inside my stomach had begun to bubble again. Had the escape been too easy? He must’ve been mad he’d been interrupted; it was the only thing that made sense. I braced for the real warning he’d alluded to earlier, praying it wasn’t what I was now expecting it to be.
When our gazes locked again, it wasn’t anger that jumped at me; it wasn’t even humiliation. His features had softened, provoking something that more closely resembled…remorse. “Just making sure you know I was only messing around," he said, his face still hanging onto that hint of boyish charm.
Of course. Only messing around. Wasn’t that always like that?
When I didn’t return the smile, I watched his brows furrow in consternation. He stopped smiling then. "You do know I was only joking, right?”
I remained silent, eager for the exchange to be put behind us.
“There’s no way you took me seriously—I’m not some weirdo."
I continued staring at him, my expression impassive despite the sparks that flew off inside my head. I wanted to respond—as I often did back at my old school, to assuage the guy and make sure we remained on good terms—but my body remembered what would happen after each attempt at placating my company and it was no longer willing to play along. Hard as I tried, I couldn’t get my lips to part. My words hit a snag at the top of my throat where they refused to be dislodged.
When the silence grew uncomfortable, he gave up and walked away muttering under his breath. It was the first blow to any plans I had at being the charismatic drummer who fit in with everyone. The moment word got out about this little exchange, they would think I was either uptight or problematically shy.
Shy was okay…shy…was salvageable. I got to thinking that maybe it wasn’t a lost cause after all.
"I guess you've met Jayden," the boy said, coming to a stop just a corridor from where we’d parted ways with the questionable jokester. He stopped just before and extended a hand. It was so unnecessarily formal that I thought he must’ve been playing his own joke but his hand remained there until I gave in and gave it one placid shake. He wasn’t impressed but quickly composed himself with a clear of his throat. "My name's Seth, Seth Robinson and uh . . . don't worry about him. He really was only messing around—a little humour to start the term, that’s all"
I nodded for the sake of smoothing things along but didn’t add anything else to avoid prolonging the conversation. Both seemed a little too keen to make sure I knew it was only a joke. They were a bit too invested for my liking and I made a mental note to keep an eye on them.
Just in case.
In the hours that followed our orientation tour, thoughts of the convincing prankster relentlessly plagued my mind. It was that boyish grin, the ease in his movements and the way he’d been so sure of himself. It was the firmness of his chest and the mischief in his eyes that dared you to join in. They were silly little things that shouldn’t have mattered and yet, against my better judgement, I was entranced.It happened like that sometimes. You saw someone and everything just clicked in all the right—or wrong—ways. Jayden was trouble, I was nearly certain of it but that dimpled smile had etched itself into my memory in ways I’d never willingly admit.Listen to me, I sounded like a love-sick middle-schooler who’d never held hands with a boy. The disdain I felt for myself at having entertained such wayward thoughts was palpable, but even that wasn’t enough to silence the pounding in my chest every time his image flashed across my mind.Jayden had the charisma of a politician. I hadn’t y
While I was hardly the hopeless romantic, I liked a good challenge. Misguided as the idea was, they were my chance at redemption. Whenever I won, if only for that brief moment, I felt like I was finally good enough for my mother to love me. After winning anything, I’d be all beams and smiles, eagerly recounting my victory, then we would become the only two people in my world. She’d happily show me off; she’d call the rest of the family and spend hours with them on the phone bragging about what a brilliant kid I was. For just that moment…we would be a happy family.Those moments were always short lived, of course. After that, things would go back to normal and I’d have to work to convince myself that I never wanted her love to begin with all over again.It didn’t always work, but it worked often enough that I fell back to it each time the magic faded and the carriage turned back into a pumpkin.Would Mom care that I’d ‘won’ the student body president? I didn’t know, but winning had bec
"Are you crazy?" Madelyn countered, nearly shoving out of her own seat before catching herself. "You can’t just walk up to them. You gotta wait for one of them to acknowledge you and call you over first.""Why?" My eyebrows were rising ever higher with each new thing said about this mysterious body and the image I had cultivated was constantly changing. This…this was secret society cult business confirmed and that only made it more exciting.The sweet smiling politician was proving to be more interesting than I’d first imagined. It would be a shame when the time came to leave him behind. Madelyn shrugged, seeming at first to be at a loss of words that would make real sense. "That's just how things are done around here.""I think it's time we changed that," I said before turning on my heels and stalking off. I had to strike while the iron was hot and my nerves were still steeled. This would be nothing, a cakewalk, a…an…other metaphor that would make me think it was a good idea. All I
"What's the criteria for joining the body?"The question had their expressions darkening noticeably but it wasn’t enough to elicit further response from them. I’d shocked them. It was a question none of them had been expecting, one they evidently hadn’t been asked in far too long. They were hoping I would back down, that if they stared hard enough I would bend; instead I doubled down in my silent wait. They weren’t going to push me aside like they did everyone else and by now I was making as much of a social statement as I reckon anyone had in a while.Before I left my table, I’d said it was time for things to change and a small part of me liked the idea that someone else would be given courage by my ill-advised pursuit. With any luck, these five would start being approached more often and others would feel emboldened to pursue their own ambitions of student body leadership. I would be the social revolutionary they were waiting for and in turn they would put me at their helm.It was a
I’d never been happier to be home from a first day of school. While I’d expected to make some waves with my latest character innovation, I hadn’t anticipated the turn things had taken and I hadn’t anticipated the trench I’d ended up digging myself into through my questionable impulse control. By the final bell of the day, I’d started to get the feeling that everyone knew who I was and it had nothing to do with my quirky family dynamics or my musical supremacy. Whispers filled the halls from biology to French, from physics to homeroom; whispers about me I’d severely undercut my own story and didn’t have the first clue how to steer it back on track should this business of joining the body become a failed pursuit. How did anyone ever recover from such social calamity? I doubted my mother would allow me to be the reason we changed houses a second time, least of all because I’d made a fool of myself with my own ambitions. She’d be too pleased with the outcome and
The 13- year-old let out a loud sigh. "Mom!"It was his trump card, the one that would get him absolutely anything he wanted and he'd learned to use it a long time ago."Okay here!" I said, grabbing my jacket from the nightstand and thrusting it toward him. The last thing I needed was Mother coming in to see what had upset her son so badly. She would’ve gone at me for being so horrid to my precious little brother, annoyed I couldn’t do this little thing to make him happy. With the rise in my position to ‘talk of the school’, I couldn’t afford to show up the next day with more fodder for their active rumour mills. The woman never cared where she left her bruises anymore; it was always up to me to hide them after.Matt’s face contorted into that sweet smile I’d grown to hate before he turned and saw himself out.He’d lose it before the night was out, likely left behind at one venue or another like all the other things he’d borrowed then Mother would punish me for being careless. Money d
She swung the bat at me but with the way she was already staggering, it missed. Missing wasn't something Mother made a habit of and it only made her angrier. "You've been sleeping around again, haven't you?!" This time, she didn't miss. It caught me square in the side of my head, sending my left ear ringing as blood trickled out. "After all I've taught you—all the shit you’ve caused, you go around being everybody's whore again!" She swung another time and caught me in the stomach. The pain bent me double as I tried desperately to regain my breath.I curled into a ball sucking in deep breaths to maintain my composure. Crying would only give her the satisfaction she craved and denying her was about the only thing I had within my power in these moments. I bit my lower lip to keep from crying when the bat co
My heart jumped but I remained where I was for an extra second, deliberating my next move. He’d already spotted me, making it a little less convenient for me to pretend I’d forgotten about his invitation. He wanted me there—for a meeting. There were others inside, a whole four of them; this wouldn’t be another unfortunate run-in with the student administration of my school.I took a deep breath then joined him.Inside, the blonde girl, who was in my homeroom but had done a good job of pretending I didn’t exist, gestured for me to sit next to her with a smile. I may have done a double take if I weren’t so busy trying to play it cool and confident, but my brain was slowly crumpling in on itself trying to make sense of the sudden shift in her disposition.Without any real knowledge of what might’ve transpired, I decided it was better not to offend her. Who knew, maybe Sydney was a skilled actress herself and was moving into